Memoirs of a Fish

Day 1,506, 16:48 Published in USA Canada by Haliman
Disclaimer: This is the longest article I have ever written. There are no pictures. It is a wall of text. This is my memoir of the first half of my eLife. Enjoy.

Many people have been telling me that I need to shed the dark shroud that January of 2011 left around me.

I have repeatedly told them that I don’t have to. That I will accomplish nothing by trying, since my detractors won’t be going away any time soon. Unfortunately, in this game, the vocal minority rules over all.

So time passed, and I continued to avoid addressing my presidential term. But, as I sat here, I realized that I was going to have to address it sooner or later. So this will serve as somewhat of my memorial in office. I won’t be adding pictures, and I won’t expect many to read this, and even fewer to care what I have to say. But, to my supporters, I love you all. To my detractors, you do not phase me. You never will.

Also, please keep in mind that I am writing this at three in the morning, and that I am not the best writer in the world. Thoughts will be thrown, sometimes at random. But everything within is true.

I guess I’ll start with the USWP.

I was a USWP member basically at birth. I had dual membership. Though I served multiple times as the Brolliance Party President, I was an active member in the USWP. There were very few members of the BP, and I needed something to occupy my time.

The ressurection of the USWP when it was still the APF was where I started my political rise. I had talked to Jude Connors and Fionia, the brains behind the rebirth, and I told them I supported them 100%. Jude’s term as PP was uneventful for me, since I didn’t really have a party job. But Fionia needed a Comms Director, and a Member Services director. Necros Xiaoban and I applied for both, and she decided to make me Comms, and him Member Services. As time passed, Fionia was getting ready to leave as PP to head for New Zealand.

The obvious replacement for her was Laxsnor. She handpicked him to run for party president the next month (October). No one really saw me as a real threat. Hell, no one even knew I wanted to run for PP until I announced.

We campaigned, and the election occured. Before I went to bed, I was ahead 28-27.

Then I experienced dirty politics for the first time in eRep. This was not done by Laxsnor. I don’t even think he knew what happened. There were only two people online on the forum before I went to bed. Myself, and Max Mcfarland 2.. Max was in Pakistan at the time, but had Emeritus forum access. I checked the poll.


I made a promise to someone that voted for me that if the poll ended in a tie, I would drop out of the election. I was a man of my word, and Laxsnor was our next Party President.

I know now that this was one of the luckiest things that could have happened to me.

Fionia was extremely popular. And in leaving, she was bringing a lot of party members with her. The party began to decline, in a major way. When I finally became PP, the USWP had experienced membership losses in every PP since rebirth.former APF members were leaving for other parties. So we had to resume recruitment. We did so in a big way, and we experienced growth for the first month since rebirth.

Fast forward to my time as Acting Speaker of the House, and I continued to grow more and more friends. I got ranked highly in congress, and kept things orderly and active. PanAm discussions were picking up. I also began visiting the Canadian forums at this time. They gave me access to their private congress sections so I can read up on what they thought. A promise I made when I was running for President was the official beginning of PanAm. I followed through.

When I finally declared my intention to run for President, I used a similar strategy that CRoy used the month before. AKA the same one. Young > old. The difference was our opponents. He had a former president. Someone high profile. I was against Inwegen, who, for the most part, was a secretive fellow. Did a lot of backroom management. Was Chief of Staff of the eternity, or something.

He definitely won that first debate we had. I use mibbit for IRC, and when you close a PM with someone on mibbit, there’s like a 50/50 chance it won’t let you open another. That’s what happened when Kazeal tried to send me the debate questions. I had about 15 minutes beforehand to review the questions, and prepare an answer. That sucked major balls. Lax and I were scrambling to work something out.

Then the SEES debate came around. The fact that I didn’t lose that debate is fact enough that I won that debate 😃

At this point, I won the USWP, Federalist, and UIP primaries, and there was little doubt in anyone’s mind that I would win. “Halifag is going to win now!” as Emerick said many times :3

I would like to look at my presidency at statistical viewpoint.

I wanted to get Canada to ratify PanAm.

Aeriala, the Canadian president at the time can attest to this: I was the biggest pain in his butt. I was talking in the Canadian Closed Door Congress (their private congressional forum) and was PMing Aeriala everyday. I think I broke a few fingers trying to poke him.

We were talking, and I eventually convinced him to support the PanAm charter temporarily so Canada could see how the new alliance treated them. They stressed that they wished to obtain dual membership in PanAm and EDEN. I thought that was a small price to pay to get the alliance active finaly.

I showed Aeriala this section, and he said you can also throw in that emerick and st krems had failed miserably. Watching the formation of ONE at the time we knew that they would be a force and new well ahead of time that co-operation would be important in the future. Tensions were high at the time with PanAm's forming and EDEN was wary of losing members. I approached EDEN and secured permission for canada to remain in both alliances also and got it. Creating a condition for canada to join at the time regardless of how was a way to ease some tension and allow someone as a go between to say we are looking at the same thing, we can't be enemies”

I wanted to get PanAm operational.

My most important goal as president was to work on PanAm. I was in countless meetings with other foreign affairs officials from other countries.

No really, countless. Especially when the Greece/Turkey debates happened.

We had finally gotten everyone in PanAm on the same page. Each congress ratified the charter, and the presidents were ready to sign. That was an extremely exciting day. I had accomplished my most important goal.

And then something kind of cool happened.

I wanted to soothe nerves about our new alliance with Brazil, in both the US and in Brazil.

In my most voted article as President, I gave the finger to Spain. We, for the first time, did not waste 200G on an alliance with Brazil, and the MPP lasted the entire month.

And then a war erupted between Brazil and Spain. And so began my falling out with the members of the JCS.

I was never the most talkative person in their daily briefings to me. But I was active in their IRC chans and talked to Jankems every night of my presidency. We were forced to butt heads multiple times. I told him to send support to Brazil against Spain, and he continued to refuse time and time again.

Luckily for me, Admin had just implimented Campaign of the Day. I set it to Brazil every battle they had against Spain. I sent who I could to help Brazil with RWs, but the eUS Military leaders would not make it an official order.

This is the reason why I was so silent during the military implosion, and eUSAF founding. Becase I was part of the minority in the eUS Military that supported it. But, I digress.

A lot of people criticized me for canceling our MPP with Spain, but not Poland. Fact is, we weren’t ready to give the finger to Poland. They were still paying us rent for regions we swapped to them ages before, and had too strong of footing in the heartland to make them an enemy.

I wasn’t ready to risk our country’s future just to get a head start at starting the inevitable World War V. I think Glove doing it when he did was perfect timing, and he handled it well.

I wanted to do everything with the same attitude I had when I campaigned. A fair one.

I was approached multiple times with the idea of using bot farms to raise money. At this time, gold was becoming harder and harder to get. They assured me that all the other “superpowers” used these farms. And hell, they’re probably right. But I wasn’t going to put my name on something like that.

Armandez has told many times (during our time at the AMP together) that the most successful players play this game without morals, and that to succeed you had to do anything to get ahead. If that’s true, then I’m quite content with being less than successful.

I wanted to expand the eUS’s metagame base.

We MMed the entire nation with enough material to get anyone hooked on something

We sent party links and descriptions, military and militia recruitment messages, gave everyone my intern form link, and told them all to inquire about anything they want. We gave them plenty to get hooked on.

The Dept. of Interior came up with some great ideas, and worked in unison with the Department of Education to get recruitment and retention much, much higher.

My detractors say I was a terrible president. I accomplished everything I set out to in my campaign. Feel free to check out my articles.

Look at the comments. Judge for yourself. Stop listening to the vocal few, and look at the silent majority.

If I was so terrible, why would there be so many positive comments? A better question is, if there are so many positive comments, why do people say I was terrible.

I’d like to talk to you about Iran, America.

When I took office, we were in no active wars, and there were no important battles around the world. Just the obligatory Southern Great Plains battle that happens like every other day.

My first day in office, I talked to Jankems. Someone on the JCS had told me he had some idea to keep things interesting in the month.

“I thought we could attack Turkey.”

I told him that was a terrible idea, Turkey was one of the countries we were trying very hard to get admitted into PanAm. I told him, so we agreed that we had to do something fun for the country.

The logical idea that we agreed on was to plan an attack on Serbia. Now, I know. Really ambitious idea. But hey, shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.

Colin Lantrip and I went to talk to the three countries we needed to have on board for this plan to work. Pakistan, Iran, and Turkey. Pakistan and Turkey were on board pretty much right away. They were both pretty cool all term. But Iran didn’t want to go through the plan.

They told us this while we were mid-swap with Pakistan.

What we decided to do was to start a war with Iran and have a propaganda campaign to get people excited. It worked. We had people fighting, Arm America was online, and people were enjoying themselves.

The military named the Campaign Operation: Enduring Freedom (which is quite possibly troll of the year 😛 ), and we at the Executive reffered to it as Operation: Pork Barbeque (nope nevermind I think this one takes the cake 😉 ).

Naturally, the vocal few, CRoy, Inwegen, and Pfeiffer blew that completely out of proportion. Apparently when someone they dislike has a war to keep America interested, It’s totally bad and that president is a failure. But when Nave does it, he’s one of the coolest presidents ever!

Logical, right? Right.

Yeah, we lost some regions in Asia. Regions that, with Admin’s next game edit, were useless in our hands. Regions we would have given back.

I will always be in conflict with people like Pfeiffer. He is his top priority, and he will lie, cheat, and steal until he eliminates all threats to his power. I’m stubborn. Always have been, always will be. But I have morals that I stand by. Morals that govern my every action. People may see that as hindering in nature; this is a political module after all. It may be.

But I’m not going to sell out on my morals for personal gain.