Nonsense News - newspaper of Parrington

7

I was feeling particularly despondent today...

4 • Day 942, 13:59 • Published in United Kingdom

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...after that dreadful Algeria match, so I thought I'd rewrite the lyrics to 'three lions', by Baddiel and Skinner. This was the result...

We're going home, we're going home,
we're going, England's going home. (x2)

Everyone seems to know the

13

Atracurium, prince of Singapore

5 • Day 928, 13:49 • Published in United Kingdom

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Atra, PRINCE OF eSingapore, by Parrington (with apologies to William Shakespeare)

Scene 1

ATRA: O woe is me! I am ill at ease. For my great father, Relorian, has died and his bride, the fair Boeth, has married his sibling, my blood, srnth. And

10

Back on the road, with an important parable!

0 • Day 874, 08:08 • Published in United Kingdom

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It seems a long, long, time since I last wrote an article...
I've hardly written since last summer. Whoa.
I do completely understand that anyone reading this paper now will be one of my old subscribers who simply forgot to unsubscribe. You may

7

Helath and safety is paramount!!!

0 • Day 754, 08:43 • Published in United Kingdom

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Health and Safety Guidelines

The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:

Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small

3

A legal document!

2 • Day 743, 08:33 • Published in United Kingdom

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Why is my newspaper only letting me publish 2 word articles??