Nonsense News - newspaper of Parrington

16

Stepping down and Birthday

17 • Day 1,075, 09:40 • Published in Singapore

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Firstly, I'll briefly announce this. I'm stepping down from the presidential race as soon as I can work out which button you have to press to resign the candidacy. I've accepted a ministerial role from TheDark which will allow me to implement most

10

A brief statement

3 • Day 1,073, 12:33 • Published in Singapore

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I overstepped the mark.

There's a fine line between an attack ad and defamation.
I accept that I crossed that line.

To my supporters, I apologise. I know that I've failed you, and I've failed Singapore.

To my critics, I'll say this. I'

33

Manifesto part 1: The economy.

14 • Day 1,071, 11:14 • Published in Singapore

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I've been wondering about how to put my manifesto across to you. I think the best way is to give it you in short, sharp, chunks, like marmalade. I hope it will be tangy, brightly coloured, and help you contemplate life whilst at the breakfast

15

Presidency.

12 • Day 1,070, 01:56 • Published in Singapore

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Wow.

This has been a tricky decision.

This month? Next month? This month? Next month?

Should I run for presidency?

After a couple of days of indecision, I've decided.

Yes.

I will attempt to be president.

THIS month.

I've

20

Congress shtuff and more future planning.

8 • Day 1,066, 10:09 • Published in Singapore

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First off, I'd like to apologise for the disappearance of my previous article. I don't know where it's gone. I would submit a ticket but the 'submit a ticket' function is broken.

So, I'm gonna start my article with a continuation of my former (