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Greetings and Salutations, My Fellow Americans and Ajay:
A Message from His Holyness Pope Jude the First
Brothers and sisters... friends... haterz... butthurt victims of my awesomeness... and the easily fooled...
What a whirlwind few days it has been for relationships in the eWorld. With Pfeiffer confessing his love for fingerguns and his attempts at courting her to anonymous pictures taken by Maximus Decimus.Meridius of fingerguns on a date with the legendary Josh Frost, we are being inundated with public confessions of love, lately. This pleases the God-Emperor and he once again spoke to me through the smoke of the Holy Bong last night during my nightly... errr... meditations. His message last night, however, shocked me to my very core.
Dio has grown weary of the war of words between the oldfag Pfarisees, lead by the ever-infamous Pfeiffer and the new Judeist Dioism sect. He is appalled that his lost followers and the newly-devout cannot live together in harmony. In his own words;
We are Dio. You are Dio. I am Dio.
May the love of Dio be with you, forever
God Emperor Dio Brando wants all his followers to live together in the Holy Sands of the Earth in peace with one another. He cries because the followers of old deny his word through me. His teachings have gone untaught and his warnings have gone unheeded, as the schism between the Pfarisees and the Judeists continues to weaken the message of the his love. Through the smoke last night, however; Dio spoke to me about the greatest love of all.
That's right. Dio has commanded that the leaders of the two Dioistic sects come together in the one way that will put an end to the bickering and usher in a new Age of Enlightenment to all his followers. Dio has commanded me to take Pfeiffer as my bride.
Being God-Emperor, Dio could sense my hesitation, but did clarify a few things up for me;
1. Even Dio knows that Pfeiffer is not worthy of the fair fingerguns and the courtship disgusts not only him, but others as well, making a mockery of a man he once thought of as a son.
2. As His Holyness Pope Jude the First of the Highest Church of Judeist Dioism, I have the funds and the ability to launder money through the Church in order to make Pfeiffer look a bit more sexy.
3. With the blessed union of Pfarisees and Judeists and the return of the Prodigal Son to the true Dioism, the Schism of the Highest Church and the Low Church will come to an end with the consummation of the union when Pfeiffer kisses the ring of the holiest retribution - ie... the cock ring
A New BETTER Pfeiffer
Only then will the Pfarisees lose their inability to see the continued, living word of Dio comes through me. Only then will the Pfarisees see their folly. Only then can we continue to serve Dio and preach his word of Love.
May the Love of Dio Be With You, In You... Forever
So, Pfeiffer... join me in the Sands of Pakistan for the only blessed union sanctioned by Dio Brando and his Chosen voice, His Holyness Pope Jude the First. Join me... and let's put an end to the madness.
His Holyness Pope Jude the First
What is this?You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.