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A Timely Bitch

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The rantings and ravings of Mellie, coming to your house since late Beta.

30

Elections Coverage

8 • Day 352, 00:34 • Published in Turkey Turkey •

Elections Results: Onrche Returns for Another Term

The dust has settled here in the old Pacific Standard Time Zone, and once again, the president of eTurkey is onrhce. Today was filled with resistance war and an unsuspected ban of presidential

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34

Princess Being Chased by Multies in a Land of Confusion!

9 • Day 350, 23:31 • Published in Turkey Turkey •

Once upon a time, in a land three hours in the future, PrincessMedyPi was strolling down the street listening to her iPod. She had been in the mood for some Genesis, as "Land of Confusion" was chosen as her campaign song. The words of Collins and

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35

My Presidential Platform: "FIGHT THE POWER!"

22 • Day 350, 16:40 • Published in Turkey Turkey •

Greetings Residents of eTurkey!

People have been wondering what exactly my platform is during this presidential election, and I can sum it up in three words: "FIGHT THE POWER!" Currently, we are living under a corrupt regime led by the dastardly

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42

13 Hours to Go...

16 • Day 350, 11:02 • Published in Turkey Turkey •

As it stands now, in 13 hours, there will be a three person contest for the presidential seat of Turkey. We at "A Timely Bitch" decided to give you the scoop on the three presidential nominees.

First up is reigning president BattalGazi (also

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32

Back to Politics: The Presidential Race

13 • Day 345, 23:10 • Published in Turkey Turkey •

Fellow Citizens of eTurkey -

Late this evening, I announced the news that the president of People's Democratic Voice, Giray Garriscus, has backed me as our presidential candidate. I am deeply honored by this gesture and accept this nomination

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