Philosophy with Rob #3: Congress Doesn't Have True Intellect Part I

Day 2,912, 11:16 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Rob the Bruce

My boredom irl has hit all new highs, so this is back. Rejoice!

When bae be lookin fine af

Before we start criticising mongress in this article I would like to point out that despite me being a congress man, these arguments do not apply to me. I will direct you to my previous articles, here and here. You will notice 2 things:

1. I proved that UKRP is god
2. I proved that I am, in the literal sense, UKRP

If we conglomerate those two things together we can get a nice argument in premise form, as follows:

1. Rob is UKRP
2. UKRP is God
3. Therefore Rob is God

Now, as a God, I transcend all this bollocks and am not a part of this, for I am different. I am the all powerful and the all knowing. Hell, if Berkeley could use God to dodge criticism of Idealism then I'll be damned if I can't use God to dodge criticisms of a daft article on the internet.

Now, with that out of the way, onto the actual point I was intending on making...

I'd like to give thanks to the strange wild cat I found lingering in the house of commons for giving me the inspiration for this one. So the Chinese Room Argument, bit of a funky one, it's supposed to explain that computers are dumb.

It was done by this dude, John Searle, who happens to be the only philosopher I've covered in this series that's not dea😛

Booty had me like...

Aight, prepare yourselves now. The basic idea of the argument is this:

Imagine you're locked in a room, and are a monolingual English speaker. You're sat there, and you've got some random Chinese symbols and instructions in English on how to manipulate them and basically say them proper like. this sounds like one of Wook's sexual fantasies...

With your instructions, you can successfully use your sheet of funky Chinese symbols to start speaking Chinese, and make it sound like you know what in the hell you're saying. In reality, you haven't a clue what's going on and you're just following instructions. So it follows on that you're not actually all that bright, and you do not know Chinese. you just give the image off.

Now... what's his name again? John. John uses this argument to claim that computers are unable to be truly intelligent, as if you give a computer a program to produce some Chinese, the computer won't come to understand Chinese. It will merely use the instructions provided in the program to give off the image of understanding Chinese. Instead of being "Strong AI" as John calls it, computers have "Weak AI".
Now how does speaking Chinese relate to congress at all? Well...
/me hits blunt

Let's look at mongress. Congress has a set of instructions confining it. They know the mechanics of the game, and they have their basic legislation, the Constitution and the Congressional Procedure Act. From these sets of rules that explain the possibilities available to them and lay out how they go about starting votes and doing things, they generate what they think is the correct way to make the eUK great.

By following these instructions and generating their solutions, they can appear to have signs of true intelligence, of "strong AI", however they do not have a greater understanding of what they are doing as they merely follow their instructions. They do not have a greater understanding of how to make the eUK better.

Therefore it follows that congress do not have true intelligence, "Strong AI". In conclusion, congress are thick.


Wew that was ludicrous. Calling congress dumb is pretty easy, I'll have Congress does not have true intelligence part II out within the week I imagine.

Until then, I've been...
-Rob the Bruce
5 gold to anybody who does a decent banner/image thing for this article series. Preferably Robert the Bruce hitting a blunt and thinking deep thoughts, but you can surprise me if you want