NX: Slaying the Pizza

Day 1,247, 13:10 • Published in USA USA • by Necros Xiaoban

The face of your savior

Since beginning my campaign for Arizona's seat in the United States Senate I, Necros Xiaoban, have been repeatedly asked what I intend to do about Pizza the Hut. I must admit, I initially dismissed such questions out of hand, confident in the belief that PtH is a non-threat to the safety and security of the United States. On further reflection, however, I've come to realize that many people aren't aware of the measures Congress is capable of taking. As such I thought I'd take the time to give you a rundown of our options.


Know the face of the enemy

Worst Case Scenario: Pizza the Hut is elected President of the United States.
Response: Impeachment! Yes, within 24 hours of being elected President, Pizza the Hut would find himself impeached from office. That of course leaves Pizza up to 24 hours to wreak havoc... or does it? Much of what a President does requires he have the gold in the treasury to do it. Wars, battles, peace treaties, alliances, etc all require sufficient funds in the treasury prior to the President declaring/proposing any such action. In the event Pizza seemed likely to have a chance of becoming President Congress could ensure the full removal of such funds from the treasury, storing them safely in Congressional orgs until the threat had passed. Essentially, Pizza would have no power in his brief time in office.



Next to Worst Case Scenario: Pizza the Hut is elected to Congress.
Response: Expulsion! As in the past, Congress can simply refuse to recognize Pizza the Hut, and deny him access to congressional channels, forums, etc. Any proposals put forward by Pizza the Hut can be declared null and void. Anyone granted citizenship by Pizza the Hut can be immediately blacklisted from future office. Pizza's certainly tried it before, and may try it again, but don't expect Congress to put up with his shenanigans.

Other wonderful things we can do to ensure Pizza remains irrelevant:

Ban him from the forums! This in fact something we've already done, but you get the idea. Without being able to voice his propaganda in the public forum, his effectiveness is strictly limited. Furthermore, we are able to concisely explain to new players why Pizza is bad for the country without him butting in with his lies.

Declare him to be a known terrorist! The government could pass a resolution identifying Pizza as a terrorist, and use its clout to circulate that information out to the masses.

Educate new players via the New Citizen Message! Every new player receives a PM 'from the President' automatically and we can make sure they're well informed on the dangers of associating with Pizza.

Place a bounty on Pizza's head! We all know what a lying scumbag Pizza is, so the best thing to do is ensure he's banned! Of course to do that someone has to catch him in the act, so what we need is a sizable reward for anyone able to provide information leading to Pizza's capture and banning.



I'm sure now you will agree that Pizza is no danger to this country, provided we remain properly organized. I'm sure you're now prepared to return to reviewing my excellent plans for a giant fence along the Mexican border. I'm sure you want to elect me, Necros Xiaoban, as Senator from Arizona.

If you do want to elect me, fire a PM my way so we can go over the details of the campaign planning. Other great ways to help are by shouting this article and letting your friends know what a great Senator I'd be. Don't worry, America, we'll handle Pizza, one way or another.

God Bless.