Early Presidential Candidates Square Off

Day 1,209, 18:01 • Published in USA USA • by George Armstrong Custer


Dateline : Sunday March 13 (Day 1209)
Location: South Park, Colorado
Reporter: George Armstrong "Old Man" Custer

Custer's Stand is my own newspaper. Opinions expressed here are my own.
Today's article is a parody, totally lulz, and utilizes plagarised material from this internet blog as well as images and links lifted from a popular TV show.


April POTUS Election may be Offensive to Some Voters (and Admins)

Ctrl+Click the image to see South Park Season 8 Episode 8 in a new tab

Anyone familiar with "South Park" knows that the show revolves around a group of potty-mouthed schoolkids growing up in a small town in Colorado, who in spite of their vulgar language often demonstrate that they're far more intelligent and insightful than the show's adult characters. In the [October 27 2004] episode, the animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) storms the local school's pep rally (during which the main characters--Stan, Kyle and Cartman--remain resolutely nonplussed while all the other kids whip themselves into an emotional frenzy) and pour red paint on the school's mascot . . . a cow (the face of which seems permanently fixed in an expression of befuddled fear . . . sort of like how George W. Bush looked when reading "My Pet Goat" to schoolchildren on 9-11). After the PETA folks raise a big stink for what they consider to be the shameless exploitation of cows, the school principal decides to change the mascot and allow the students to vote on what the new one would be, because, after all, that is the American way.

The Candidates
Earlier this week, Ian John Locke IV announced his candidacy, with Sweetbags as his running mate. Together, their nicknames form a phrase which game authorities have deemed to be vulgar.

And so, in keeping with my own personal policy of pushing the envelope, I hereby nominate the only possible candidates who might present a challenge for the Office of President of These Here United States of Friggin' America:

Turd Fergusen, and perma-banned dead American citizen sandwich8675.




Due to Yesterday's Media FUBAR...
You may have missed these fine publications:
The Army-Cavalry Merger [Part 2: Officers]
Special Final Edition: Your Official Newspapers
The Media Approval Process

RL > Game

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Custer's Mantra:


What kind of game do you play, what kind of players do you like to align yourself with?
What kind of leaders do you want, what kind of leadership do you expect of them?
What kind of country do you want to "live" in and play for?



George Armstrong Custer
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Please also see the Army Times and other Official US Military and Government publications.

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