How To Pick Your CP!

Day 2,692, 02:07 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Hail Astrid

This month's CP race looks to be a competitive one, with five candidates vying for your vote in roughly 21 hours.
(Is it too late to write an election-based article?)


Here we go, then.


Here are the five upstanding gentlemen three upstanding gentlemen, one cat and one meerkat, that you can vote for.


We meticulously research our facts here.





Max Blue describes himself as "Londoner, Chelsea fan and well-dressed bloke. 😃"



It's like he's trying to make you dislike him.

In all seriousness, though, his campaign manifesto is based mainly on, well, military plans. It caused a storm of debate in the comments, which I couldn't be bothered to read but rest assured, the discussion was indeed, stormy. His newspaper, The UKF, also seeks to deliver actual news to readers everywhere, which is pretty groundbreaking in my opinion.

Max is also adept at using mind-control techniques to get you to vote for him. Here is exclusive footage:


He wants your vote. And your BRAINS.



Fataliix deserves your vote. In addition to being totally awesome, totally competent and humourous, he also describes himself as thus:


It's okay to stare. Because Fataliix.

I believe that a Fataliix government will be awesome, competent and humourous.
The only complaints I've seen are about his cabinet, which he sought to put to rest.




If Chuck Norris played browser games.



Matthewuk (hmm? Where have I heard that name before? Wasn't he interviewed by this very paper? That's awesome!) runs on a platform of mainly wars, supporting new players and schemes. I think. He hasn't announced a cabinet yet, though, so watch this space!


Or not. Whatever.



Snugglepussington is the Party President of The Real Spamicans.
No article so far, but his name really really really sounds like some sort of sexual euphemism, so hey, if that floats your boat...


Frozen just got a whole lot more interesting.



Zubrei is a meerkat (upon closer inspection, it looks a bit more like a monkey?) He is the Party President of possibly the best named party in the eUK. Also possibly one of the loneliest.





Finding it hard to choose a candidate to vote for? Then apply this simple formula!

I have compiled all the characteristics of an excellent CP and created the B.R.I.B.E.

Bravery
Reliability
Inspiration
Beauty
Examination


Bravery, reliability, inspiration and beauty in action.

To pass the examination and make your parents proud of you, click this button and put in the highest number the game will allow.


You won't regret it! 100% money back guarantee if you are neither satisfied OR dissatisfied with your product!

Thank you for reading!