White House Press Report

About my newspaper

The official Press Room of the United States. Check here, for all official announcements from your government.

131

WHPR [Day 1,097] - From Sea to Shining Sea

17 • Day 1,097, 12:21 • Published in USA USA

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America is a tune. It must be sung together.

(Insert Menstrual Joke Here)

There comes a time every month when America … read more »

108

WHPR [Day 1,096] - Burn My Shadow Away

5 • Day 1,096, 14:07 • Published in USA USA

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I burned my tomorrows, and I stand inside today at the edge of the future as my dreams all fade away.

Sitting on Our Hands … read more »

122

WHPR [Day 1,093] - Media Idol

17 • Day 1,093, 21:16 • Published in USA USA

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Eugene Harlot’s kill count is kept track by his stubble. He shaves when he loses count.

Quick Links

- Talk with people on IRC so you can make more … read more »

114

WHPR [Day 1,088] - Media and Jobs

14 • Day 1,088, 20:38 • Published in USA USA

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Media Rocks your Socks

So, people complain about the crappy media. This cuts me deep, America. This is technically my “responsibility” so I feel guilty when I read this. I feel like I should be doing more. Then I get a few good ideas. Then … read more »

144

WHPR [Day 1,086] - Poland, Malaysia, Indoctrination, and HR

15 • Day 1,086, 19:13 • Published in USA USA

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America Smash

I was going for a sort of “Hulk smash” (or Reagan, whichever) with that. It’s hard to pull off without the benefit of voice fluctuation. Anywho, stuff is going down. Broland’s territory in Western Siberia is under attack via … read more »