The eUSA is fail

Day 612, 15:40 • Published in USA USA • by ChrisDF0

As many of you know, when we lost Alaska, that was the first time the mighty eUSA has ever lost and original 50 states region.

After many lost battles, we are now down to 43 regions, and we are currently being attacked in Georgia and Hawaii.

THIS IS ALL HARRISON RICHARDSON'S FAULT.

Harrison is obviously a PEACEnik. We here at the 1HL staff have discovered ties that connect him to PEACE and also (shocker) AJAY BRUNO. As any good newspaper staff will do, we will not give up our sources unless forced to by a court of law (not Henry Baldwin or the eUS court, as Henry was a PEACE spy when he existed).

The USWP was taken over by PEACE back in December, slightly before I left. Scrabman was the head PEACE zombie and in early Februrary, he recruited Harrison, a random teenager he met on the street*. He got HR ready to take over his communist PEACEnik regime, and they the whole world takeover planned for June 15th: . Unfortunately, the American PEACEniks (USWP Zombies) weren't ready, so they delayed the WTO until July.

You all should know the plan by know, and if you don't here is a small summary:

Russia, Hungary, Portugal, and Indo are planning on dividing the US and Canada.

I will now discuss how Ajay is connected to all of this.

Harrison was surfing youtube one day, and he saw one of Ajay Bruno's videos. He said to himself "This guy is such a doucheb*g, he could easily distract the US, and let me do my evil plan!" So, while Ajay is trolling up #usa-chat and creating his "Conservative Victory Party", it is all just a distraction.

The way Harrison has sabotaged the war effort is serious. He goes on IRC every day, and changes the topic of #usa-chat to tell the people to fight in a specific place. What he is clearly doing is telling people to fight in the wrong place, so that his PEACE buddies in other countries can divide up eUSA.

How can we stop this?

Impeach Harrison. The Zombies only have 15 seats in congress atm, which means if we can rally Congress to impeach him, we will be safe because Emerick will take over, and Russia, Indo, and Portugal will run away when Emerick just looks at them because he is so great.

What else can we do?

Move to Kansas tomorrow and vote ChrisDF0 for Congress. Also, donate your Q5 Weapons and Gold to him.