Pie - It's Always Relevant

Day 1,154, 20:19 • Published in USA USA • by Heather Fuchs

Now that the holiday season has come to a close and we are firmly ensconced in the doldrums of winter, it’s time to revisit a favorite MI topic to bring some cheer to the offseason: PIE!

Here are some pies that we haven’t covered yet. One of them might even be a celebratory pie in honor of Plato's return from the Gulag (or wherever the harpies stashed him). Pay attention – there will be a quiz.


First, a couple of fruit pies:


Peach Pie



The only food in the world that smells like wet dog and tastes like heaven. Head on down to Atlanta for one of these puppies and you’ll never look at your dog the same way again!


Rhubarb Pie



What the hell is a rhubarb anyway, and why would someone put it in a pie? Well, it seems that it’s quite tasty, in addition to being a decently powerful laxative and coming from a plant with toxic leaves. So if you want to feast on tasty pie, then crap your brains out and maybe drop dead, this is the pie for you.



And now the custard-y pies:


Key Lime Pie



Made from key limes, a lime found almost exclusively in the Florida Keys (and not from lime pie with some keys thrown in, as some of you might suspect), this is another one of those sweet-tart pies that goes great with whipped cream or meringue topping. Kind of like a lot of things.


Coconut Custard Pie



“You put de lime in de coconut and drink it all up…” but that’s not how you make this pie. Coconut custard pie is mostly custard, which is to say a crapton of eggs and milk and sugar. Then they throw some coconut in just to make it seem “healthy,” dump the whole mixture into a pie crust and bake. What comes out tastes great with a mai tai, or by itself, and is suitable for all meals.


Lemon Meringue Pie



Much like its cousin the Key Lime pie, lemon meringue is a tart confection that many find quite refreshing as a palate cleanser after a heavy meal, or a nice accompaniment to an iced thirst quencher in the summertime. I wish it were summertime…


Pie – it’s sweet and delicious and it won’t give you venereal diseases. Try it.



Click on the link to enlist in the Mobile Infantry!


If you are at least 5 days old, your strength is at least 300 and your battlefield rank is Lieutenant or higher (or you can do at least 65 influence per fight barehanded) and you like pie as much as we do, you too could be a member of the Mobile Infantry!!!


If not, then get your military career started in the Training Corps!


Respectfully submitted from the pie in the sky,
Captain Spamgobbler
Press Officer
eUS Mobile Infantry