My Response to Albus

Day 4,092, 12:57 Published in Iran Turkey by Walpole

Dear Borgs of Greater Azerbaijan and Khorasan!


Some say: The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

Only trick I know and use it to phrase most inconvenient truths in most flagrant and disturbing style possible.

Friends take the truth and use them for their own good. Enemies take the style and plunge themselves into deeper sh*t.

Net result is: Devil is my biatch. He wins sometimes. Whereas, I win all the time.

Since my previous article made Albus jump to ceilings out of anger, I felt the urge of starting with this prologue to illuminate him and his ilk on their feelings. 😉 (Observe! How nice of me!)

As for my response to his article...

Did he manage to surprise me?

Not at all.

I did not expect him to say anything about the money they have been stealing from the eIranian treasury. And he did not.

What could he say anything about it anyway?

I did not expect him to offer an explanation or apology for the exorbitant tax rates they enforce to their allies whom were tricked to relocate their investments into eIranian soil. And he did not.

How could he explain it anyway?

What he offers instead is nothing but a loaded non-coherent rant, presumably aiming some sort of eHistorical revisionism based on blatant lies and false insinuations.

All his fabrications, except one, were decisively dealt with in the comments section underneath his article by several people, as far as I can see, in an uncontested manner.

I don't need to add anything to what they have elaborated there.

I will deal with the last one, i.e the insulation that I have been mixing up the game and reality & real history.

Allow me to clarify once and for all.

I know the difference between Iran and eIran.

I know very well what eIran represents in this game is not a representation of real Iran.

In this game, I write articles/comments targeting eIran. I have no business with Iran.

My articles/comments may contain historical anecdotes, tales and fairy-tales to enrich the color of my text, or sometimes construct a parable elucidating on a game related phenomenon or event.

If you are incapable of understanding the difference between context and text of a parable, or between humor and slander, it is of your fault, not mine.

If you are capable of understanding it, but you are role-playing as if you are not, for the sake of avoiding the criticism directed towards you, it is of your own inept and laughable defense mechanism, not mine.

However rich, deep-rooted and illustrious the Iranian culture and history is, it does not change the fact that eIran is one of the slimiest, unprincipled, nagging, bratty eNation this game has ever witnessed.

That is the truth of it.

And, I will continue to rub it in your face, loud and clear, so get used to it.


An article starting with prologue ought to have an epilogue too. Let's test whether instructions I gave above are understood. I have slightly modified a translation of a beautiful satiric poem penned by illustrious Ferdowsi, Iran's national poet. Let's see whether you'll like.

Here we go:

Oh eIran, imagine you are an egg
Spawn in darkness on a rotten keg

Even if we placed you in a spicy nest,
Where the bright Phoenix loves to rest.

You are a raven's egg - and, mark it well,
When the vile bird has chipped its shell,

Though fed with grains from plants that grow
Where the Heaven’s sweetest waters flow,

Though airs from Gabriel's wing may rise
To fan the cradle where he lies;

Though long these patient cares endure,
It proves at last you are a bird impure.

A viper nurtured in a bed,
Where roses all their beauties spread,

Though nourished with drops alone,
Of waves that spring from Almighty’s throne,

Is still a poisonous reptile found,
And with its venom taints the ground.

This truth all wise people of eRep sang-
eIran always reveals from whence it sprang.


Shrink, eIran, from our rage of fire,
And tremble at our infinite ire.

I totally forgot giving an explanation to "Dear Borgs". Nothing serious really. Not a single eIranian dared to write a comment underneath my previous article. That was kind of weird. You guys, if you are not bots of course, seem to be Borg-like in obeying your orders coming from top, instructing you shut-up. That's all. 🙂