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He Had the Most Swag

Day 2,012, 21:17 Published in USA USA by Tenshibo

With media being slow lately, II decided today would be a day to write, whatever comes of my writings will largely be a train of consciousness article, it won’t be as witty nor as well crafted as my articles tend to be (not including the titty-tacos article, of course.)

I’ve recently been pondering my life, both here in-game and my actual real life (hard to imagine such a thing exists, right?) Most people are aware of the expression “April showers bring May flowers,” and while this typically refers to the weather, I can’t help but look deeper into it. From a literary sense, water brings purification, life, and rebirth. So then, the flower is the product of this rebirth; its colors, its smells, its existence can only be due to the rebirthing process initiated by the April showers. So if we apply this to the eWorld and the real world, when things begin to change (in our flower metaphor this would be the April showers) a new opportunity is created (the flower).

I look at April and see the rain everywhere in real life; I began preparing for graduation, prom, summer, leaving my home, and college. The last 17 years of my life are all culminating in what is the ultimate flower, the reality of adulthood. And while I still have many years as a youth before I become a grizzled old man, while I still have plenty of time to relax with my friends, raise hell, be a “youngin” by the responsibilities of life are still creeping at me everyday. I already work, I pay taxes, I pay bills, I’ve been in debt... with the exception of marriage I’ve already begun to experience the stresses of life. But, with all the stresses come great experiences, memorable people, and things that I’m sure I can’t fathom. So, moving forward is easy, because all the negatives are worth it.

While I look at the changes rapidly occurring in my real life, I can’t help but note how they parallel my eLife. While everything I’ve known as “my life” is leading up to a new path, the same is happening here. For months, if not years, I’ve played the game to better my country, to have fun, to enjoy the company of others, and accomplish goals. But, where is all the going now? Much like my real life, I’m in a state of limbo here. It seems like what I’ve done is ending, and something new is coming. But how to get there, what it means to go there, I’m lost about. Do I force it? Do I wait? Should I stay or should I go now?

While my real life thoughts are inspired by my day-to-day living, my thoughts on my eLife are inspired by an article by Glove. The article is about how in the past CP elections, the three candidates (Artela - who won - DLS and myself) were largely “the same.” It was a very Glove-tastic article; lot’s of criticism, little suggestions. While criticism is fine, I’m a fan of the smack and cookie method, where you smack someone in the face for being wrong, and then offer them a cookie to better themselves. It’s effective. Also, who doesn’t like sugar cookies?

I mention Glove’s article not to criticize him, but to draw attention to his opening statement:

A lot of you might be asking why I prefered Tenshibo over the other candidates. I didn't elaborate on my reasoning and I'm sure that molested a lot of you, so I will elaborate.

He had the most swag.

But he didn't have enough swag, he just had the most, that's why I liked him.

My questioning of my time here in eRep is not solely inspired by Glove’s loving of my swag. Lots of people adore my swag, are envious of the swag I imbue like a natural cologne of excellence and success. It’s the struggle of being a ballah. But, is that what I’ve simply become? I’ve played this game for four years now, and to describe me, people don’t use words like, “great, influential, memorable, helpful, heroic, charismatic, etc etc.” These words which we use to describe the best of the best are simply lost on me to be replaced by one word: swag. Take away that one word, take away my “swag” and what am I? Better yet, if Thor were to ask say that I’m just a Big man in a suit of swag, take that away – what are you? Could I reply saying “Uh... genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist," No. Could I reply with anything of value? I’m not sure.

I don’t mean for this article to simply be the ranting of a young mind, so I will focus it in a new way; While I can’t be described as “great, influential, memorable, helpful, heroic, charismatic, etc. etc.” who can? An article recently came out criticising the Unity Elections as making it so people who aren’t the aforementioned traits president, and thus, keeping people containing said traits down and out of power. But, I propose a counter idea. Perhaps the way the game is played has made this impossible.

I look at the presidents of last summer, Oblige and Israel. I’m excluding Evry as her term was affected by too much to fairly compare her. There’s a lot you can say about Oblige... a lot if it isn’t good. Some of it is though. One such thing was that he did was he connected with the populace. His articles were all about him being some twelve year old weebo, some contained naked women with chocolate syrup sex cannons, he provided a narrative in his articles, and America had a purpose - yes, that word we talk about ever so often, especially when speaking with Glove. In his time as President, Israel Stevens did a similar thing. He too connected with the people, provided a narrative, and while things weren’t the best of times due to the changes occurring, he pressed on, and helped the country do the same. So sure, Oblige may have been a weird weebo, and Israel sometimes came off as an angry, fiery ass, they were “great, influential, memorable, helpful, heroic, charismatic, etc etc.”

So, what’s happened since then? We have lost our purpose. Our country has been divided for a while now, divided not just in two ways, but in four, six, eight... we’re so divided we’re nearly a party sized pizza.

There’s like... 32 slices in that yo.

To be honest, to truly unite us now would be difficult... without a purpose. Despite how divided our country is, despite all our cliques, despite our MUs, parties, place of origin, or even swag level, one thing does unify us: Serbia is balls yo. Aint nobody in their right mind like Serbia. And while for now, invading them is not feasible, the possibility is quickly approaching. One such reason for this is AIM. For the first time since the great military split, the ability to quickly coordinate the masses of America exists; as AIM has effectively brought the various independent MUs under one roof, it makes something easier. Coordination. AIM won’t bow to the government, they won’t suddenly start tanking for Macedonia, they won’t become another part of the USAF, and nor should they. But, they’ve stated they’re willing to coordinate with us, and so far, both ends - the government and AIM - have worked to ensure coordination. Sure, there have been screwups, but nothing new ever comes out great. Shoes reach their optimal comfiness after a few weeks of breaking them in, and such is the case with Government-AIM relations. As time passes, and we break in this relationship, it will become an effective means of damage direction. And, while our allies differ in some areas, our enemies are the same. TWO and Serbia.

So, maybe this should be our purpose; preparing for the total invasion of Serbia, the annihilation of TWO. I said before and I’ll repeat it in bold: we cannot do this now. Despite how simplistic the war module has become, such a conquest needs a few more pieces to fall into align. The alliance shifts need to calm down, we need to save up financially, and relations with AIM need to be ironed out. But soon, such things will happen. So soon, we’ll be coming for Serbia, not as USAF, not as AIM, but as America. If time has shown us anything, it’s that when we come together, you can’t handle our swag. And soon, our party pizza will have melty enough cheese so that we’re as together as we’ll be, and then, it’s bombs away.

Until then, Swag out America.



Vanek26 Day 2,012, 21:19

Tenshibo has the swag!

Evry Day 2,012, 21:24


Dogpyle Day 2,012, 21:30

Wise beyond your years.

I LOVE sugar cookies.


...with Swag.

Bucephalus92 Day 2,012, 21:35

Voted...with Swag x2

Othere Day 2,012, 22:06

You are certainly charismatic.

Tyler Bubblar
Tyler Bubblar Day 2,012, 22:11

I loved it for the record I supported you for POTUS

F.11 Day 2,012, 22:34

V + S

SColbert Day 2,012, 22:46


DMV3 Day 2,013, 00:01

Kill em all, let the paramedics sort em out!

Ejdatful Day 2,013, 02:47

tl ; nr

Wild Owl
Wild Owl Day 2,013, 03:10

Tenshibo has the swag!

Azazel Romanov
Azazel Romanov Day 2,013, 05:21

This was a great article.

Israel Stevens
Israel Stevens Day 2,013, 06:45

Ahahaha, awesome.


Strength and Honour

Emerick Day 2,013, 08:54

ftr my swag is swaggers better than yours

WayneKerr Day 2,013, 11:03

psssh gotta get past eUK first brah...

elation Day 2,013, 22:15

(sigh) This sums up my feelings about your liberal use of "swag"

NyxShade Day 2,015, 01:29

Thats quite the ego.

Grainne Ni Mhaille
Grainne Ni Mhaille Day 2,029, 11:53


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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.