[Prime Minister] Day 6 – Do my job? That’ll be 5g please lad

Day 3,157, 09:56 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by 10 Downing Street


Afternoon gents o7,

Six days into the term and the fruits of sedentariness are beginning to bloom. Chaos, disinformation and outrageous pecuniary waste are but the beginning of a glorious rapture of our fulsome community – let not the agents of orders, peace and accord dissuade us from our goal of totalitarian mindlessness, for we walk a hallowed path to wherever this vastly over-the-top descriptive takes us (probably either Greggs or Plato’s Cave).

So join the government with a metaphorical pork pie/form of the good as we begin the official brief of the last few days…



Rumblings in Parliament

For the rather unimportant matters of leaving our alliance and conducting a training war against the US and Ire, Parliament was overly quiet. This was all to change, however…

The usually indolent chambers of our glorious legislature suddenly mobilized, with thrilling fortitude, upon finally rubbing self-interested brain cells together - working out they could perfectly legally vote themselves money. Whilst some of my Ministers are extremely jealo- concerned about the financial ramifications of such a proposal, I believe with modest amendment it could make for a decent attempt to get some of the lazy sods actually contributing again.

In it’s current form, MPs stand to bag 5g if they make every vote. This could theoretically mean a bill of 200g (£80k) should disaster strike and every MP suddenly rise from the eDead. Under our current income it would make Parliament the biggest expenditure outside MPPs, almost certainly pushing us into the red. Thus the government has suggested a cap at 40g, meaning if more than 8 MPs make every vote the prize pool is split evenly between them.




Foreign Affairs Brief

Astrid’s report on the people just north of Gibraltar

As briefly mentioned above, Parliament has voted to leave PLUTO. I have informed the other members of this decision and will be instructing Woldy to confirm the ingame buttons for it later today. The obvious question is: what now? We have had a few interesting discussions with interested blocs, however my inner pragmatist demands another week or so of careful study before any meaningful advances on this front.

Progress has been painfully slow confirming these training wars with Parliament, the Gov will be making a final proposal either later today or tomorrow morning to try and conclude if any will be taking place at all.




Defence Brief

MoD Orders – Day 3,157

Call to Arms has been open for a few days now, if you haven’t already noticed you can claim 5 Q7s every article simply by voting and shouting the link (and preferably actually fighting with your given supply!). The upcoming national MU tournament is also in the latter stages of being set up. We’d have preferably liked this to have coincided with a co-ordinated training war but there is a small chance this is still possible.

As always, check the MoD Spreadsheet for accurate information and orders about our campaigns.



Home Affairs Brief

UK Media Awards

I’ve opened this week’s Media Awards which are due to be refreshed on the 18th. There are 4 categories of articles where you could bag £5k for each winning submission. The judge will be me after several gallons of Talisker – so bonus marks for extra large writing and few cheeky pints on the side…

Hope to be opening a few more competitions as the necessary inspiration slowly makes it’s way towards my ever-besieged imagination. Should have something semi-decent for yer by 2018.




Finance Brief

Attempts to get import tax up have resulted in two contradictory proposals going through parliament, naturally having a roughly similar amount of support for each. After a fair bit of shouting and consulting imaginary lawyers we hope to have this resolved by the next brief.

Next MoF report should be out in a few days. This is also a notice to say, for the moment, we’re not bankrupt. Rejoice!

Much obliged o7, yer lovin’ CP,


Appleby