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SColbert The Most Elitist, Elitist

Dan 1,930, 19:07 Published in USA SAD od SColbert

Hello Nation,

Oh sorry you caught me in the middle of my ride with my Nobel Prize winning horse. Just one moment...

That's better now onto business. You might have heard about the elitist http://tinyurl.com/cvhefth contest, in which we are deciding who is the most elitist of our nation. I implore you to vote SColbert for the most elitist, elitist. Here is why.

Whenever any sort of contest occurs naturally I must win. It is very American to turn everything into some sort of contest. Just like at the space race! We beat those damn commies with our better space! Seeing as I am the most American, American, I am also the most competitive person in the world. You might ask “But Stephen just because you’re the most competitive person in the world doesn't mean you should win!” And to that I say, “yes it does, now shut up before I break your kneecaps with my elitist gang of smaller elite people, who are also elitists.”

I am what it means to be an elitist. Just the other day, while I was talking to my best friend Tupac, I was choosing our next CP (say hello to President Shane McCoy). After that I took my private jet to my elitist car wash to get cleaned in the best way possible, with the tears of orphans. I then went on a private safari, to hunt the most dangerous game around (and to the government officials reading, it definitely was not man). You see I epitomize (a word I know because I am elitist) elitism!

Finally seeing as I am the most elite elitist I can just rig the election anyway. With one word I choose who gets elected to what. That is why I demand you vote for me, unless you never want to see your favorite coffee blend again (oh my deviance, will I go to no lengths in order to get what I want?).
 

Komentari

Mazzy Cat
Mazzy Cat Dan 1,930, 19:10

Kitties!!! ♥

Jefferson Locke
Jefferson Locke Dan 1,930, 19:18

I love this, and I love Colbert4Elitist!

And don't forget, Jefferson Locke is a super elitist to!

weasel2
weasel2 Dan 1,930, 19:24

Your Eliteship, can you ratchet your status up a bit so I can vote for your elitism without everyone realizing I took your bribe? Appearances must be maintained you know.

GladiatoriKS
GladiatoriKS Dan 1,930, 19:27

Colbert is the real-life Captain America. Stephen for the the win o/

bigcdizzle
bigcdizzle Dan 1,930, 19:56

I'm so much more elitist than you, I could tell you why but instead I'll give you a pre-scripted Comment. Today's is:

"The butthurt is strong with this one..."

Ghost of Tom Joad
Ghost of Tom Joad Dan 1,930, 19:57

I'd vote vote for him. But, I avoid the meta-game.

Lord.Darcia
Lord.Darcia Dan 1,930, 21:08

I loled

I already voted for myself in every single category though, sorry!

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Dan 1,931, 00:27

lol you are just too cool

Tiamati
Tiamati Dan 1,931, 04:21

Its Articles like these which force one to ponder the difference between Elitists and the Elite...

2 Quotes regarding the topic seemed salient, and are included below:

1: “There are some among the so-called elite who are overbearing and arrogant. I want to foster leaders, not elitists.”
― Daisaku Ikeda, Discussions on Youth

2: “The master demon Screwtape identifies elitist humanity's tendency toward "an ingrained habit of belittling anything that concerns the great mass of their fellow men.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters: Also Includes "Screwtape Proposes a Toast"

beerman616
beerman616 Dan 1,931, 05:42

You're so elitist I nominated you for every position... Except #2 in the eUS, that's that damn dirty JLO!

Derphoof
Derphoof Dan 1,931, 06:26

SColbert is easily one of my favorite writers and definitely my favorite Elitist.

*goes to fill the ballot with SColbert in every slot*

SColbert
SColbert Dan 1,931, 18:36

If you vote the same person for all categories your ballot is considered invalid. If you voted the same person all the way down you should revote a real ballot.

fingerguns
fingerguns Dan 1,931, 10:12

Everyone in your comments is elitist.

SColbert
SColbert Dan 1,931, 15:18

Looks like my elitism is leaking again.

Alastor DoUrden
Alastor DoUrden Dan 1,931, 15:28

No Elitism. I protest it!

Haselrig
Haselrig Dan 1,931, 15:36

Sounds like something an Uber-elitist might say.

Alastor DoUrden
Alastor DoUrden Dan 1,931, 15:42

Me never you know I am not an elitist

crashthompson
crashthompson Dan 1,931, 19:10

Elists protest elists that steal their elitism. You sir are an elitist.

Joseph Dinero
Joseph Dinero Dan 1,931, 17:42

And so in this eBaby I once knew....emerges an elitist that cannot be denied....

DMV3
DMV3 Dan 1,931, 18:24

If you vote the same person for all categories your ballot is considered invalid. If you voted the same person all the way down you should revote a real ballot.

crashthompson
crashthompson Dan 1,931, 18:44

Favorite Elitist

DMV3
DMV3 Dan 1,931, 20:11

Nominate America's turrible elitists:

http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/nominate-your-least-favorite-turrible-elitist--2223005/1/20

Let your voice be heard!

 
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