The Voice of Silence

About my newspaper

I don't know what to put here, so the remaining 250 characters will go to enormous, uncalled for, and never-before-seen lengths to give the reader a full, in-depth understanding of my sincere love for our mammalian brethren from whom we take wondrous portions of hearty, bloody, and delicious steaks.

[Forward Canada] Spectacular

4 • Day 1,884, 17:13 • Published in Canada Canada

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Political debates and analysis

I am proud to announce that I have won the Party Presidency of the Forward Canada. There are big things ahead for this party. But enough about what's in my pants.

I've been waiting too long to use that line. Too long. It wasn't even very good.

[Forward Canada] Togetherness

11 • Day 1,882, 17:57 • Published in Canada Canada

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Political debates and analysis

It seems that all the rage these days is attacking other political parties. We here at Forward Canada do not like these acts of hostility towards select people and parties. Instead, we prefer to hate everyone equally.

You all smell.

Bad.

[Forward Canada] Military Unit Funding

7 • Day 1,881, 12:17 • Published in Canada Canada

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Political debates and analysis

Here at Forward Canada, we believe in a strong military. We also feel that the best way to get a strong military is by putting complete focus on building … read more »

Forward Canada Supports...

7 • Day 1,869, 21:11 • Published in Canada Canada

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Political debates and analysis

My PR team assured me this picture would attract the general population to my article

After a thrilling party vote on the matter, Forward … read more »

Forward Canada Revised Platform

11 • Day 1,865, 14:29 • Published in Canada Canada

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Political debates and analysis

This platform has been slightly altered from the initial platform posted by Jacobi here

1. Forward Canada will push for Canada to act loyally to its allies,