The Sexy Times - newspaper of Jizzie McGuire

26

Voting Is Good for You and Your Country!

21 • Day 491, 09:14 • Published in South Africa

•

Greetings my friends. Once again we find ourselves battling over a closely contested and controversial race. No, we are not seeing the traditional verbal punches to the face and kicks to the nuts between BLF and FA members that we normally see,

17

Congress and Employers: Strengthen South Africa

8 • Day 489, 10:03 • Published in South Africa

•

Greetings my South African friends. I come to you today in all seriousness to ask that you all be vigilant and active to defend our nation against both political and military threats. It has become well-known that a Brazilian political take-over

24

Have You Ever Been to Electric Jizzieland?

11 • Day 475, 10:29 • Published in South Africa

•

Hello my sexy friends. This is just a short but outta sight message from your new prez regarding all the groovy things we have going down. Dig it?

First of all, let me give a shout out to our new Department of Funk and the cool dude heading it

16

Congressmen: Vote NO on the Presidential Message Bill - Not Sexy!

6 • Day 472, 19:16 • Published in South Africa

•

Attention Congressmen,

Due to the unpredicatable nature of my ancient laptop, a bill got proposed by me that was not ready to be. I was in the process of altering ERD's previous New Citizen Message when my computer decided I was done and went

18

Jizzie Wants YOU for His (Revised) Sexy Cabinet

25 • Day 472, 13:31 • Published in South Africa

•

True to my promise to make our government more compact and streamlined, I have finalized the make-up of the cabinet and the positions available by merging positions and eliminating redundancies. I apologize to those of you who were listed on my