WHPR [Day 1,006] - Rainbows and the Future

Day 1,006, 19:27 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room
Today Sucks

Honestly. I’m not writing another “We rock so hard. Victory. lol” article. I don’t understand. Is there another type of White House Press Release? Oh well, apparently I have to do one anyway.

Russian Invasion

We have stalled our invasion temporarily. Our territories are currently safe as they are being attacked for region swapping purposes, meaning Russia cannot attack them. We are currently analyzing our strategy (by “we” I mean those who are smarter and better at this then me) and determining our next move. It also gives our treasuries a bit of a chance to re-coup. We are making much more money then Phoenix right now. They’ve lost the heart of their richest country. This means that every day we are making more money then them. I’m not saying that we should just sit back and amass money for the next year, I’m just saying that a day off can help us more then it helps Phoenix.

I’m sure you’ll see what happens next when it shows up on the battle events, whatever it is.

Our Allies and Region Divisions

In an effort to add pink to the wonderful rainbow that is now formerly eastern Russia, we’ve given Western Siberia to Poland. This gives them the all important high Iron, as well as high Stone and high Oil.

For our gold-medal friends China (See what I did there? Gold because of their color on the map. Gold medal because of the Olympics. Gawd, I need to stop being so funny. I make other people look bad.) We’re giving Eastern Siberia. This gives them high Titanium, Oil, and Stone. This leaves China with a high region of every resource. This is incredible, however China deserves it. The amount of damage they shelled out shows what bros they are and how much they’ve earned the region.

However, I hear some of you crying because we are giving away all the regions we fought so hard to get. Shut up. They helped us a ton, spent money, and got up at who knows what time to fight for us. Also, we get to keep Far Western Alaska. That’s pretty cool. It’s got high Titanium, plus other stuff we already have. So mainly, we now have Titanium. That’s awesome.

Also, the regions we have are all incredibly secure. Russia activated MPPs against Poland and China. This provides a comfortable shield for FWA. I’d like to again, say thank you to all of our allies for the support they showed us.

Links, oh my:
• The President’s Newspaper – He hasn’t had an article in a while. Pushing buttons takes time and effort apparently. He should have something out soon though.
• The Vice President’s Newspaper – Level 27 is easy. Level 23 is where the cool kids are at.
• The Pony Express – Will be used. At some point. I so sorry.
• Department of Defense Orders – The JCS is so-so at their job. But, I guess you should do what they tell you.

Don’t hate me,

Kentel
Secretary of Media