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SFP PRESS NEWS FEED
Day 1124 of New World / Day 13 of Frostydom


Day Three of Hunger Strike Rivets the Nation's Attention



A scene from the new documentary film, The Fine Art of Making Enemies, where hunger striker G. Pumpkinette is staring down the elites

Although it is difficult to focus our attention on much else while all of America waits with baited breath as George Pumpiknette's Hunger Strike enters its third day, there are a number of other critical events to report on...



Furry Party Quashes Fascist Uprising



Furry Party member emerges from the closet after years of hiding

A quiet drama unfolded in the former Republican Party following the election of Devon Donaldson as PP. Following up on his astounding mandate (3 votes out of a total of 5 cast), DD as PP changed the RP to the FP and announced not only the expulsion of a fascist gang, but his intention to challenge the UIP's long-held tradition of being "the gayest party in America".

While certain inveterate homophobes who seem to have only has one word in their vocabulary were non-plussed at this turn of events, reports are pouring in -- particularly from military authorities -- in support of DD's stance.

When asked why this was so, an anonymous member of the military intelligence community told our reporter, "OMG! We've just learned that they speak some kind of foreign languages in South America! This gay-bashing has got to stop naaaooww. Our plans for hemispheric domination are completely on hold until we can get some of these cunning linguists to help us out."



American Civil Liberties Union Makes Astounding Discovery



One of the 7,000 campaign posters e-wheatpasted all over Butte, Idaho promoting the anti-status-quonian wing of the ACLU

After a bitter public feud between anti-status-quonian Matthew Laurinavicius and pro-evil Emperor Rick over the future of the party, the ACLU has sky-rocketed to the number 11 place amongst America's proud constellation of parties. (3,792 at last count).

Despite this success, an ACLU spokes-liberal let slip to one of the SFP's legion of far-left spies an astounding discovery that may put this party's plans on hold for a short time:

It turns out that the ACLU is having some difficulty trying to determine what civil liberties to defend after discovering that the eUSA officially has no rule of law whatsover. Who knew?



Rebel South Dakotans Keep Their Promise



Sign outside the rebel factory says "Here the People rule and the Government obeys". It is in Spanish to confuse the Polish authorities.

The "autonomous revolutionary workers committee" at LeninAde Beverage company in Occupied South Dakota made good on their promise yesterday, releasing 1,000 units of Q3 food onto the American market at rock-bottom prices. The cheap and tasty food was snapped up in 30 minutes by hungry workers suffering from inflation and eager to show their support for the rebel group.

A somewhat rambling and disjointed communique from the committee stated, among other things:

"We serve the People! All for one, one for all! Admin will have to pry our Org from our cold dead fingers."

"We call on all patriotic American businesses to follow our lead. To hell with greed and profiteering while the Nation calls out for Bread!"

"To hell with dogma. We shit on all revolutionary vanguards of the New World."

and

"Leave Justin Bieber alone. Stop picking on her!"



Socialist Freedom Party Roars Into Action


Following on the flurry of activity that catapulted firebrand organizer cival unrest to the PP position, and having recovered from their post-election hangovers, the SFP seems to be firing on all cylinders these days.

A communique from PP cival unrest to the membership recommends the following allocation of responsibilities for the SFP's Revolutionary Committee (its leading body):

* Special program for the Unity of Autonomous Reformists: cival unrest

* Rainy Day Food Drive and Welfare Program: courage cowardly dog

* Overall leading comrade-manager for the SFP Commune: Bishop Samuel Seabury

* Socialist Freedom Party Forum admin: Vincent Nolan

* Socialist Freedom Press editor: Phoenix Quinn


Studies are also underway for forming a Leftist Writer's Guild, for reviewing the SFP Platform, and to explore forming a new style of People's Militia.


If you are interested in any of these projects and want to lend a hand, or if you have other ideas for projects or collaborations, please contact any of the individuals listed above or visit us at socialistfreedom.org.


Other News


* The USA invaded Baja, Mexico.
* The price of food keeps going up.
* Americans will never stop arguing about tax rates.
* Admin announced changes designed to do away with Orgs.
* India made a deal with China to help liberate its occupied regions.



It's Your Game: Join the SFP


Help cival unrest rock the house! Join the Socialist Freedom Party today.

Friends and curiosity-seekers are welcome join us on our forum at socialistfreedom.org.

Hungry? Low wellness? Contact the Rainy Day Food Drive and Welfare Program today!