Tyler F Durden: CPF Party Address Day 786

Day 786, 12:09 • Published in Canada Canada • by Tyler F Durden

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Tyler F Durden steps to the podium for his Party Address


Praetors. Moosemen. Canadian Progressive Front Membership!

On the 15th you will vote for your Party President.

The candidates are:

patar333

Tyler F Durden

I look forward to that election, as it potentially represents my 5th consecutive PP mandate.
A &quot😉rive for Five" if you will.

During this past term as your PP, we have established 2 new weapons companies, one - the CPF 1st Airborne in Ontario, and the CPF Black Watch in Quebec. It is my hope that these companies will grow, and so will our damage.
If you are a member of the CPF Army - the Praetors - then I encourage you to invite at LEAST one friend to join you in the Praetor ranks.

That is you NEW MISSION!

Addy Lawrence runs the CPF Capitol Guard out of PEI. This is the 1st company of the CPF Army.

The CPF 1st Airborne is operated by PimpDollaz. You may contact him if you live in Ontario and wish to be a Praetor in that company.

Acacia Mason operates the CPF Black Watch. If you are a Quebec resident and wish to join that company - I encourage you to contact Acacia.

You will all be supplied in unison. A new CPF Army HQ has been established to synchronize orders, and shall be operated solely by myself - or whomever is PP. Of course - you do NOT have to reside in the same region as the company is based in to be eligible for employment or free weapons supply.

There is also the Vote to nominate the CPF candidate for Prime Minister for February 5th, 2010. There are two candidates. I encourage ALL who are reading this to vote ASAP! The CPF candidate will have the backing of the DAL for February 5th as well, which will give the prospective candidate a substantial head start, as per our agreement with Canada's largest Party.

I was unable to run myself, due to my having to be sipping scotch whiskey and playing hold'em poker with a Texas whale on one side and a beautiful blonde on the other who steals my chips everytime I am smiling at her bleached teath. Marla will likely be knitting poolside in the hotel.



I don't care how much your teeth or tit job cost.
You touch my chips, I get Pit Boss on your ass.



I want to find this place. I can drink, swim AND gamble?
Ohai can I has destroy my liver, turn into a raisin and empty
my bank account all at the same time? Ktxbai!


I know patar333 takes issue with my taking a vacation but as I previously stated, that will be during the Owelympic Games in Vancouver (Feb 12 - Feb 2😎. Also, I will bring my laptop - and I am pretty fuking sure they have internet in Vegas. I will be leaving on or about February 10th, and returning February 25th (ish). All things CPF will continue to operate as scheduled - as they ALWAYS have.



No comment neccessary. Only staring is needed.


So no - I will NOT be here to hold your hands and sing kumbaya songs to you.
But you do not need that. There is the strongest group of leaders assembled of ANY party in the CPF Privy Council and I have nothing but the highest degree of confidence in their abilities.

That being said...

Long live the Canadian Progressive Front!
Long live the Praetors!

Tyler F Durden


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UPDATE

As requested, new Forum Userbars for CPF Praetors. To see the full collection, you must be registered as a CPF Member on the CPF Forums!

Enjoy!


















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