Toaster + bear + Lizard = Not in eKansas Anymore

Day 2,058, 14:07 • Published in USA Serbia • by GaiusGuy


FORWARD

If you're reading this, chances are I'm dead and this journal/memoir is all that remains of my p1ss poor legacy here. I can only hope it was at least fulfilling while it lasted.

Ok, maybe I'm not dead just yet. Still training and working. I tell you tho, it was fraakin' close. I understand many like myself simply don't make it through the first month.

Here's how I narrowly avoided becoming part of that first month statistics, so far. Cue song, raise curtains.


THE ENCOUNTER

About 3 things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire...

1. The locals call this world eRepublik. It's a strangely foreign and yet familiar world somehow, especially eUnited States which I swear feels just like home.

2. eUnited States is at war. On the losing end, I might add. This was made pretty clear the moment I arrived to the sound of gunfire and explosions all over the city. Every 1 hour 30 minutes to be exact with a 5 minute break time. Strange battle etiquettes, but hey Cylons used to chase us every 33...

3. I witnessed alot of chaotic headless chicken running around during the first few days. (Coincidentally, I've been told the headless chicken is a some sort of entity/deity here.) Civilians were being evacuated to the capital, but people were confused as to where it was located. Some said eFlo, others eCal, eTex, eEtc... sigh, public education at its finest.

It was there, that I first saw him. No, not Edward.



(Disclaimer: Above individual didn't quite look like that, but I'm going with first impressions as a newbie.)

So yes, I might have simply gone with my first impression when I encountered a metallic silver chromed avatar. A fraakin' toaster, I'm toast(NPI - no pun intended)! Instead of being obliterated right at the spot however, the cylon-like being greeted me.

"Citizen, there is no need to fall into Full (metal) Panic." (seewhatididthere?)
"I am here to invite you to the Activity." (the what?)
"Come to #US-AIM to receive your tank" (whoa, I'm just a civiie, you want me to fight?)
"Vote for the Activity" (...so say we all?)

And thus he proffered his hand(?) to me and I had my first rational moment amidst all the chaos. Do I want to get involved in a war that I had nary a clue about? Then again, from all indications it appeared our government was overthrown, as there was no instructions or explanations from on high. Perhaps individuals like my new Mithril toaster friend here and some group called the US-AIM represented the last grassroot bastion of hope. (more on that another article)

And so I passed my first crossroad, and decided to survive.


THE BEAR GATSBY


See my first disclaimer.

We do not live on bread and tanks alone, tho I had to admit that's a sweet looking tank. Fighting does not fill the soul, especially with no end in sight and our borders continuously shrinking.

We had finally received official word and it was my worst fear realized. Our country had been renamed "The United Butts of TWOmerica". I believe many of my sisters and brothers died inside that day. eDeaths followed not long after, faded into faceless and indistinguishable silhouettes. All new citizens just like me. And I longed to join them.

It was at this low point I came across this article. An article of deep thoughts, of eloquence, of higher cognitive thinking. Could it be? Yes, a sign of higher intelligence!

I had to speak with this author of a "devil-may-care Gatsby, funny and irreverent, and living the celebrity dream". Surely he knew what it's like to live in a world where everything seemingly falls apart.

"Well, if you join us, I can be your mentor. Talk to our leader."


15 Minutes can Save Me 15%


Final Disclaimer, same as my other disclaimers.

I recognized the fellow the sunny yellow sunshine bear was alluding to, for he was one of the first individuals to contact me.

He was waiting for me like a charming version of Morpheus. (It's gotta be the accent.)
"It only took 7 days to convince you to join us" 😃 (yeah sorry, i got mighty tempted to donate my brains to a zombie army and got sidetracked.)
"No problem, come meet me in the Forum for the meet and greet."

And so I passed my second crossroad and decided to do more than simply survive.

To be continued in Part 2. THE FORUM