The King's Speech

Day 1,495, 08:29 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Mr Woldy


This should cheer you up.

Merry Christmas eUK!

Being monarch, it is only appropriate to write and broadcast a Christmas speech. This year, you are fortunate enough to not only have a transcript, but a podcast. This weeks ‘Bob Save the King’ is dedicated to christmas, recent e-events and the Kings Speech. If you want to hear this wonderful spoken by me, King Woldy, simply click on this link.

If you’re worried about length, we kept this one brief, and it totals all of 16 minutes.

The discussion thread can be found here. As always please discuss, suggest, and enjoy!



The Speech

This past year, my Husband Wife and I have shared the up and downs the eUnited Kingdom has endured.

First and foremost, the economic spiral the world has found itself trapped in has brought upon everyone unexpected hardship. As monarch, I know how it feels to live in government-owned property and sympathise with the lower sectors of society.


My Council flat..

To help remedy this situation, the monarchy has been at the forefront of privately ran social help schemes - providing a base amount of free food and money to new players as well as donating, over the course of the year, over One Hundred golds worth of currency, food and weapons to the populace by means of charity or prize giving schemes. All of this, from our own backs.

Not only that, but on occasions we have also found ourselves providing resources directly to the government, in such scenarios as the multitude of attacks on our fair land and capital that the nation has endured over 2011.

In such turbulent times, it is the role of the King to help in what ways he can, and I have always considered myself not only as a morale-boosting figurehead, but as an approachable and charitous monarch who - in whatever way I can - will aim to help those who need it. It is no wonder then that I am as of this month the eUK’s longest serving monarch.

Over the next year, we at Buckingham palace hope to see the eUnited Kingdom achieve a modest number of goals. Firstly, complete military domination of the entire commonwealth. It’s about time we brought them back under our benevolent reins. Secondly, I would like to dine in Paris. If just once. I hear the escargot is simply delicious and, feel it my Kingly duty to validate this assertion on behalf of all tourists planning a trip to France. Thirdly and finally, I have begun to feel that the age of the new guy is upon us, and hope to see over the course of 2012, a plethora of new players all assuming the roles and responsibilities that such old fags as myself have enjoyed in the past. This of course will be made easy, when we achieve our long overdue babyboom.

So, remember to have a merry Christmas and a happy new year. 2011 has been a turbulent time for the eUK, but it is important to remember that the copious amounts of drama, action, and adventure that we have seen over the course of the year has constantly been superseded by one thing. 2011 has been fun.

Our ultimate aim should therefore be, and it may not be an easy one, to make 2012 even funner than 2011.



I would like to end, with a short poem I ‘compiled’ last week.

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Forum
Not a person was posting, not even Valorum.
The moderators were sleeping by the ban-hammer with care,
Hoping that in the morning BBH would not be there.

Congress were nestled all snug in their beds,
While UKPP plotted to remove their heads.
The Army too, were taking a well deserved rest,
But not Jimbojoy busy looking at breasts.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw on my sash.

In a drunken rage, Goku Jones was to be seen,
Demanding the forums be kept clean.
No one took any notice, but he kicked up a fuss,
Until Thomas and Appleby grabbed the ban-blunderbuss.

And so peacefulness returned to the forum that day,
We slept safely knowing the trolls were at bay.
Then suddenly a large group of party-goers came,
And so I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Rawdon! now, Temoo! now, Emergy and Fezoj!
On, Apron! On, Titan! on Frerk and Greatmoff!
Drunkenly they danced, from the window to the wall!
Iain Keers did the tango, til sweat dripped from his.. brow!"

They were too exhausted from dancing and passed out in a pile,
An event which for reasons unknown, made Diakun smile.
Off to the bedroom scamper did he,
Only to discover, Kdogg and courtneyy.

And then, to my horror I heard out of the blue,
The wailing and screaming of Chew-chew-shoe!
He was upset crying and wouldn’t stop mumblin’,
Apparently the UK was winning in Dublin...

He was picked up and moved, and the mess was bestrew,
I identified the cleaner Jamesw.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

A switchblade knife he held tight in his teeth,
And smoke from his car circled his head like a wreath.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old chav,
And I asked when I saw him, if an autograph I could have!

He sprang to his car, with it’s exaggerated spoiler,
And away he drove, despite the dodgy boiler.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"



Thanks for Reading,
HRH Woldy I,

OBE, KCVS, MC, HRH.


Enjoying Christmas dinner






To apply for the Young Achievers Scheme, simply pop your name in this thread on our external forums:
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http://forums.erepublik.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=588&t=75411


Wishing you a merry Christmas, and a happy new year.


Here’s to good health!