The Diary of a Francophile

Day 1,489, 17:51 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Mr Woldy


The Diary of a Francophile

Firstly Our first official Podcast was released today, and as it’s our first we decided to make it a bumper edition - it’s 50 minutes long as is accessible via this link.

Jimbojoy and I host, with our guest for the final 20 minutes, Betafoxtrot - Who talks with us about the military. We cover such topics as christmas songs, jw-gate, the media module and others.

Please give it a listen, and offer feedback and suggestions in our discussion thread!



Now, back to business.

Bonjour citizens!

You may remember a couple of weeks back I staked a claim to the French throne. Well, as I am unchallenged I have since taken it upon myself to begin asserting royal dominance over what shall now be known as little Belgium.

However, I thought it quite unfair to assume control of this State without at first giving the people in France (the French) an opportunity to see who I am, what I am like - to get a more candid, personal look at their new king. So, I vetoed Thomas765’s involvement in Europe until I could provide them with this - a glimpse into my life.

What more appropriate way of doing this is there than giving them a look at an exert from my diary? Hopefully the insight will expose my personal side and allow them to accept my inevitable reign more readily than they otherwise might.

My average day, goes a little something like this:

11:19 - Wake up. Read papers - Uncle Henry has been up to no good in Normandy.
12:13 - Shout at peasant. Advise said peasants to eat cake.
12:17 - Sample and criticise foreign cuisine (usually French - their cooking is awful!)
13:40 - Take a brisk dip in the English Channel.
13:45 - Complain about how cold the sea is.
13:46 - Purchase Caen pepper at Grocery store. Beat Pierre in a race across near-by river.
13:47 - Book a short trip to Calais.
13:52 - Maurice and I beat Pierre for being lazy. Jus’ average King stuff.
13:56 - Visit Prince Edward. Have tea.
14:15 - Take a rest on a nice hill overlooking some fields. Practise archery with chums.
14:19 - Book an excursion to Rouen.
14:21 - Get in a fight with a foreigner (probably French).
14:23 - Insult said foreigners mother, aggravating hostilities somewhat.
14:24 - Get in a fight with his mother. Take a long break for afternoon snacks.
17:04 - Visit Blenheim palace. Lovely place. Shame I don’t own it.
17:08 - Complain about strong smell of cheese blowing in with the onshore winds.
17:43 - Frerk and I beat Pierre again. No reason.
17:59 - Get into a scuffle with a french-canadian chap.
18:05 - Decide to go boating. Have loads of fun.
18:11 - Read a Brochure on on the Iberian peninsular.
18:12 - Decide to visit the Iberian peninsular.
18:13 - Beat Pierre. He is looking quite badly bruised by now.
18:15 - Play my favourite ABBA song.

Obviously at first glance it may seem boring, but if you know your dates you may catch wind of what I’m saying... It does seem to give the impression that the sole role of the British Monarchy is to go around beating the French. I can’t deny it’s a good past-time.

Maybe in fact, I have taken the wrong approach. Instead, in order to win French praise I should celebrate all that is good about France!

In order to do so, I have compiled a list of all great french cuisine, all great french writers, painters, and all french military victories, and I present them here to you:

1.




..Well look, I’m a King, not a god.

I think it is fair to conclude by saying almost what I said in my previous article; war with eFrance is guaranteed to be pretty fun. I just hope to god I’m not the only one on our side who takes it upon themselves to troll. Because boy, do we have ammo.



Au revoir,
HRH Woldy I, of Great Britain, France, and Canada.

OBE, KCVS, MC, HRH.


Looking forward to bashing some frenchies, 2k11






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P.S. I Love you really eFrance ❤