SFP Presidential Endorsement

Day 1,018, 05:23 • Published in USA USA • by Socialist Freedom Org



Cromstar for President

The Socialist Freedom Party has conducted its pre-election presidential preference poll.

The winner of the poll was the ticket of Cromstar and Kazeal:


This month, the SFP sent around a questionnaire to the known CP candidates asking them to state their agreements and disagreements with policy questions derived from its 11-Point Program. They all responded with complete answers, though St Krems -- true to form -- was a bit rude about it.

As expected, neither Cromstar nor any of the other candidates agreed with all 11 points. The Cromstar team responded with thoughtful and intelligent answers and showed enough solidarity with these sensible worker-oriented positions to earn the designation of Friend of the Workers:


The SFP encourages you to vote for Cromstar on September 5th.





Phoenix Quinn for President?

So why is Phoenix Quinn...

...current chair of the Revolutionary Committee of the Socialist Freedom Party, also running for President, even though the SFP has endorsed Cromstar?

Well, you could say it was due to a series of unfortunate mis-adventures involving an over-tired person pushing the wrong buttons. And you might be right. But what fun would that be?

Or... you might think it could be a reaction to pthut (Az Isten faszát!) showing up to troll around on the socialistfreedomparty IRC channel last night. But that would be giving the ol' blob of goo way too much credit.

Maybe it was Rainy Sunday's comment on PQ's Field Guide to Spotting Pizza-Republicans in the Wild that spurred him on? Perhaps. She's been known to be very persuasive, in a calm understated kind of way.

To figure out what's going on with PQ, we visited with his old friend, Rant Casey...

...and asked him if he knew why PQ was interested in being the e-leader of the e-free world.

That question elicited a long howl of laughter, followed by a string of rather graphic obscenities that we can't reprint here 'cause this is a family paper. What we could gather from Rant's ramblings was that PQ showed up at his townhouse last night fulminating in Dakhota about "the tale of the tortoise-boy". Luckly, Rant speaks a little Dahkota and was eventually able to get PQ to calm down.

It turns out that this whole campaign is protest aimed at freeing e-South Dakota -- a traditional hotbed of leftwing politics and the ancestral home of the SFP Commune -- from occupation by the Polish szlachta. According to Rant, the last thing PQ said before passing out on the sofa was, "What f___ do they need South Dakata for? Poland is the breadbasket of eastern Europe."

So there you have it. Free South Dakota!





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