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The Shameless Plug is here at the eCanadian Freudian Gestalt Holistic Institute to review the results of Premature Polling (to view click here) and apply some Freudian analysis to the congress elections. For further background information on the eFGHI, please check out its last report in The Shamless Plug: click here.

The Shameless Plug: How did the findings of Premature Polling compare to the actual election results?

eFGHI: Well, you might say we were 100% wrong. None of our numbers exactly matched the actual voter percentages or seats won by the parties. Nonetheless, it was not a complete flop. Our 15% margin of error meant that we actually exceeded expectations after staying within at a mere 11% margin of error. We've prepared this handy chart for your to consider what took place:

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Premature Polling Forecast

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Actual Polling Results
CS😨 36% of Congress, or 15 seats

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CS😨 35% / 13 seats
CEP: 33% of Congress, or 14 seats

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CEP: 22% / 9 seats
CPP: 15% of Congress, or 6 seats

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CPP: 20% / 8 seats
PNQ: 10% of Congress, or 4 seats

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PNQ: 12% / 5 seats
PPC: 3% of Congress, or 1 seat

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PPC: 10% / 4 seats

Notice the major discrepancy can be seen in relation to the CEP results and the more or less "fringe parties" below it. The 5 additional seats expected to be gained by CEP were instead taken up by the CPP (2), the PNQ (1), and PPC (3), and though the CSD did pull in the % of votes expected, they did not pick up 2 additional seats due to the voter distribution.

SP: Numbers, seats, and percentages are all fine, but it is widely known that eFGHI is not known for its scientific methods but rather its holistic psychological approach to gauging the climax of congress elections. Would you care to apply some of your Freudian analysis to what has transpired.

eFGHI: Thank you for pointing out that our methods are not based upon statistics but rather a 'guesstimation' based on social anxieties, party patriotism, news article jingoism, and political dysfunctions of eCanadian society. Behind the statistics of your typical poll lies a cauldron of repressed political desires and unrequited passion for power. While Premature Polling captured the essence of eCanada's congress elections, there were several factors inhibiting an accurate reading such as a doubling of voter turnout, the highest ever, and a surprise annoucement before elections about CAF Orgs.

First, let us consider the etymology of the term "congress": from Latin congressus, meeting, from past participle of congredī, to meet. It is from this latin root that congress takes on several meanings:
1. a formal meeting or assembly of representatives for the discussion, arrangement, or promotion of some matter of common interest.
2. the act of coming together; an encounter; meeting.
3. coitus; sexual intercourse.
As such, our Congress represents both the political and the sexual nature of the eCanadian Psyche. The battle for power is akin to the struggle of sexual liberation or repression.

SP: Yes, well the, ur, abc's to the birds and the bees of eCanada is all a bit risque for an unrestricted publication, so I wonder if you could discuss the urges of eCanadians that matched them to their congress member.

eFGHI: We will be the first to admit we overestimated CEP's congressional drive. I believed we've isolated why they under-performed and why the under-dogs styled themselves to the needs of eCanadians. Before we do so, let us consider why CSD came out on top.

The main reason is the party became much more politically active in the past 3 weeks. The feminine soft power of CDS under Cleo Cathak was replaced by the 'JT Kirk-like' manly vigour of Trenton Rendell and rock-hard platform of the Big D-man, dabman. Coupling itself with DAL, CSD simply out-performed itself in the past several elections.

The big let-down was the flacid performance of CEP, since it was poised to maintain its previous position as top party in Congress. It would be unfair to call their congressional campaign a flop, since they were able to stimulate the eCanadian public enough to get 9 members into Congress. At least 31% of voters were satisfied with CEP performance in its last term of Congress. Bruck handled the party congressional platform very well and demonstrated the strength of CEP membership. It just goes to show you that it's not the size of the phasor rifle you carry, but it's how you use it.

SP: I'm sorry, your Star Trek allusions are a bit mystifying. Can you accredit the key reasons for reduced CEP membership in Congress?

eFGHI: Quite simply, CEP dropped the balls when it came to safeguarding its most loyal partner, the CAF. Masculine CEP has always carried a big stick when it came to war. Granted, this past month it did bring us Ireland as a playmate to engage in war games, but when it came to greater alliances like ATLANTIS, the lover's quarrel between Sweden and Germany, and our union with eUSA, eCanadians were left holding the bag as to where their guns should be pointed. The average eCanadian had a very difficult time knowing which nations we were still bedfellows with and which we were on the outs with. The non-commital administration potential cost us some action and led to an ambiguous relationship with current/former allies.

The biggest tragedy was the emasculation of the CAF shortly before the last two congress elections. The most important part about carrying a big stick and knowing how to use it would be to actually have a stick (a Q5 bazooka, for example) to carry in the first place. The rape of the CND last month and then of its Orgs. several days ago has severly damaged the eCanadian Psyche.

SP: Whoah! Rape, that's a very contentious word to use. "Theft" or "scandal" may be more appropriate and sensitive terms.

eFGHI: Yet again, let us consider etymology. From Latin rapere "seize, carry off by force, abduct" The usual Latin word being stuprum, meaning "disgrace." The noun sense of "taking anything -- including a woman -- away by force" is associated with the alternate definition of "to plunder, to pillage, to steal." Therefore, to say the CAF has been disgraced by the forceful, unwilling abduction of its funds and Orgs. is appropriate, we believe. The CAF, an assembly of the most virile and potent citizens, has been emasculated by the loss of its weapons and mobility. The consequences of which, like any rape, is a deep trauma to the public consciousness leaving us untrusting of others and guilt-ridden by the seeming fault of having misplaced our trust. Predictably, there will be a schism between the electorate and the elected if these feelings are not treated. Indeed, in the coming month the eCanadian Psyche will be at its breaking point.

SP: This is going in a very different direction than Premature Polling. Can we wrap up by glossing over the performance of other parties in congress?

eFGHI: Certainly, but you must undertand gestalt holism knows no bounds, yet let us finish by speaking of the CPP, PNQ, and PPC. CPP members rose to the challenge the most of any party, securing an unexpected number of seats (😎 to rival even that of the formerly dominant CEP (now 9). Though it remains a mixed salad of emotions and assertiveness, the CPP is on its way to reconciling its former impotency by means of more elected members and increased political activity.

The PNQ continues to remain disenfranchised from voter amity, mainly due to the barriers of distrust and poor communication. By wedding itself to a dominant party it will advance the union of its tastes with the interests of eCanada. For now it remains a fragmented personality of the greater whole, although it is showing increased potential to stimulate our interest.

The PPC doubled the size of its congress members from 2 to 4. Though size does matter, when we are speaking about small digits, it's difficult to say what pleasure they may derive from such an election performance. Keep an eye on Media Mogul whore Joey Phillips, as he is sure to spread word of PPC far and wide.

SP: I think that is plenty summary for today. We appreciate the work of the eCanadian Freudian Gestalt Holistic Institute, no matter how gratuitous the calculations and commentaries may seem. This reporter will look forward to seeing what studies will be issued from eFGHI. Thank you and have a good day.