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**FINAL UPDATE @ 23:30**:
Premature Polling is closing prematurely because I just can't hold back any longer. Due to the "no shows" by PPC and PNQ we've had to adjust the margin of error to a whopping 15%. Nevertheless, my predictions are always so far off that it may as well be 23% or higher.

Here are the final results of Premature Polling:

CS😨 80 votes
CEP: 74 votes
PPC: 38 votes
Total: 192 votes

Extrapolating from this current data, The Shameless Plug estimates the following results in May's Congressional Elections:

CS😨 36% of votes, or 15 seats
CEP: 33% of votes, or 14 seats
CPP: 15% of votes, or 6 seats
PNQ: 10% of votes, or 4 seats
PPC: 3% of votes, or 1 seat

Premature polling for May Congressional Elections is wrapping up as the final hours count down to the end of Day 550. The results indicate a strong showing for CSD who presented 3 candidate summary articles, including one DAL supported review. The CEP presented one candidate overview, which showed strongly but could not counter the multiplying effects of CSD overkill.

**UPDATE @ 1😇0**: Polling shows CEP is tied with the CSD/DAL cooperative. Candidates are being asked to prepare for a round of "Eeny-meeny-miny-moe" if the deadlock is not broken.

**UPDATE @ 14:30** CEP has inched ahead with a single vote, but will it be enough to keep them afloat for the next 10 hours? The real story here is the suprising late-arrival rally by CPP, proving that a paradox defies common expectation.

**UPDATE @ 17:00** CSD/DAL has rallied back while CPP has introduced another late-comer to make steady gains. Bruck vows to soon break out his phasor rifle: "Gonna put a phase-inverted beam in yo' ass, suckaz!"

**UPDDATE @ 22:23 on the 24th** CSD/DAL is still showing very strongly and we can expect even further gains to come with the news most recently released. CEP will need to struggle hard to overcome the 2nd consecutive scandal to hit them pre-Congressional Elections. It's possible that CPP may pick up the slack and invigorate the flacid affair.

Here are the totals:

CSD\DAL: 79 votes
-DAL Congressional Candidates
-The CSD Team
-CSD Proposed Congressmen

CEP: 74 votes
-CEP Proposed Congress
-Why Join the Canadian Empire Party

CPP: 37 votes
- CPP Congressional Candidates
- Wall Street Congress + Tom Hagen Interview
- CPP Congressional Platform

PNQ: 0 votes
- No Presentation

PPC: 0 votes
- No Presentation

Alright, you see that the first half was nothing but misdirection to get your attention. "8 Tips on Voting" would hardly be exciting enough to get you this far. So, here is the real deal, the stuff you need to know tomorrow before clicking on the "You Can Vote" tab.

8 Tips on Voting for a Congressperson
aka: "Pretending you Care"

1. Read the platform presentations - all of them:
Read the news article presentations for every congressional candidate in your province. Compare their stances on economic growth, taxation, social programs, military expenditure, and infrastructure placement (hospitals, defence systems). See what they have to say about PEACE and eCanada's allies and also consider how they would vote on military actions.

2. Double-check what you rea😛
Cross-reference the information you have found by reading through each candidate's newspaper, also reading the comments for additional context. Follow this up with a simple forum search that will list all the postings the candidate has made. Read thoroughly to determine their unwavering stance. Remember, now you can view archived Congress forum threads: a great place to see how active an incumbent congressperson has truly been.

3. Look for the official party article:
Find the the congressional candidate summary article put out by the party and its supporters. Click on the links to each candidate's platform to ascertain whether or not the party has a unified stance on congressional issues. Are candidates being moved about to take advantage of weak spots? Are platforms outdated or have links that are no longer functioning? How many titles do the candidates have in front of their names? Do some candidates actually belong to another party? Are there candidates running in provinces that currently do not exist?

4.Investigate the candidate:
With luck, you will find a candidate summary that will include links to their profile pages. The profile page will provide you with a fountain of information about your possible congressperson.
First, take a look at their Hard Worker medals, Congress Member medals, Super Soldier medals. This may seem petty, but when you're in real bind between two fantastic candidates, sometimes counting the medals is as good as reviewing their tax policy (it's certainly easier!).

5.Dig a little deeper:
Next, check out their friends list to see how popular they are. Perhaps they have made acquaintance with some foreign undesirables or have a half-dozen friends with names identical to theirs, save for the final digits (ex: Plugson, Plugson11, Plugson22,...Plugson77).

6. Now you're getting close - paydirt!:
Now click on "Donate" and go to "All Donations" to take a look at their donations records. This will confirm any strange transactions with clones or even identify funding from outside eCanada. Beware of donations in bearing any IDR or HUF, while also noting any Gold donations in the 3000+ range. For additional evidence, try doing a track-back through their shoutbox records to see what 'unCanadian' languages you find.

7. You've come this far so might as well:
If you haven't already done so, check out their newspaper. Sometimes I use the average number of votes per article or even the total number of subscibers as a tie-breaker between two equally great platforms. Remember that a newspaper logo and title can be as good a way to get to know your candidate as chatting with them on IRC.

8. Go with who you know, not what you know:
Of course, that brings us to IRC and forum chatting. Sometimes you may just want to go with a name, or even an avatar, that you find particularly familiar. Maybe you've seen the name/avatar again and again in the Off Topic folder or in the IRC chat-log. Face it - voting is a high pressure situation and anyone can freeze when faced with that long list of parties and candidates to vote for. So when all your reading and cross-referencing fails and you don't recall a name, let alone what party they belong to, just go with what you know. Find that party logo you went with last time 'round and maybe that will jog your memory. If it doesn't, at least you put a little thought into it.


For those of you who are still stumped after my very comprehensive look at Congress Elections voting, I offer you this video as a last ditch attempt to survive the elections. You'll never again be embarrassed by a bad case of EDS - Election Dysfunction Syndrome. So if you can't get your vote on, or maybe just don't feel 'in the mood,' please read the following tips. It's from The Onion, a news-source that's been informing the apathetic even longer than The Daily Show. I've summarized (or flagrantly plagiarized) its 7 Tips for the Non-Voter below: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/today_now_how_to_pretend_you_give

1. Develop a Political Non-opinion - "I'm an Independent" is the most handy and en vogue, used by such social savants as Dade Pendwyn himself. As a last resort, pretend your swing voter in swing state, by saying you can go either way.

2. Think of a Poll Anecdote: Share a believable story on IRC about what happened when you went to vote. "Boy, that voting page took a long time to load." "Shucks, I barely found my favourite candidate in that big list of parties." My favourite: "Well that was worth my two experience points! How was it for you?"

3. The Less You Know, The More You Should Prentend To Know: As a political ingoramus who's never been elected fairly or held a position anything like a sub-deputy for a Cabinet Minister, I've written this here Voting Tips list to compensate for and cover up my failings. You can, too! If it's your first time, close your eyes and click. It will all be over before you know it.

4. Most People Also Know Nothing So They Won't Question You: Just write something positive with vague reference in the comment section of a congress platform announcement. No one ever challenges something nice. Deep at heart, despite people's political flamboyancy, we're all a little bashful to admit our voting history, no matter if you're a one party monogamist or a multi-party swinger.

5. Mention Swing States To Seem Smarter: For May's elections, be sure to throw in something about Manitoba, Petz, Alexander Rearden, or Kelly Mahoney, even Jaffle. Mentioning any of those on IRC will let everyone know you're legit. You'll earn the envy of all eCanadians if they know these hot'n'sexy candidates are courting your attention.

6. Take A Few Hours Off To "Vote" - Just Play Halo Instea😛 While people are busy doing all that reading I talked about above, you could be doing something you actually enjoy. If you'd rather engage in something more 'solo' like a round or two of MS Solitaire, well that's just your preference.

7. Not Voting Is Easy!: More Than 93% Of The Population Does It!: eCanada has a population of over 5500 citizens. Less than 600 will ever show up. Think of yourself as part of the silent majority. Electiond Dysfunction Syndrome is a condition that affects almost all eCanadians. Don't feel inhibited by your condition. Seek help, read a platform, and do your best to warm yourself up to the ballot box. A little Barry White can go a long way on the 25th: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVTN5o9Kgu8&feature=related

There you have it. So unless you haven't the time to read everything or if you have some kind of polling phobia, there's no reason you shouldn't survive this round of congressional hoo-hah. So on May 25th:
Be informed.
Be present.
Be honest and pretend you care...or as they say, "Fake it 'til you make it."

Please vote safely tomorrow by choosing a responsible candidate.