Octonomic_Fail: Teh Plan To Destroy Canada

Day 805, 15:33 • Published in Canada Canada • by Tyler F Durden
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ALL HAIR TEH GRORIUS REEDER!




Teh Grorius Reeder sits on his riddle frone.
He's been busy for 3 months working on his Brirriant Pran
to save us all from Teh Oligarchies! The following article
is a critique of his "Plan" and is in no way intended to
"flame" him. As you will soon see, he does a good
enough job of that on his own.


In case you missed it, Octavian_F is running for Prime Minister - again.

In his Platform he paints a pretty picture of Canadians rolling in gold and cheap goods.
He says with great pride that he's been working on it for 3 months. His "Platform" - which is more of a plank which pirates would make you walk to and off of into a swarm of sharks has two versions - the short version, full of ponys, cheering children and piles of gold, and a long version which he hopes nobody will read...well I read it.

NOTE - At time of publication there still has been no CEP Party vote to decide who the CEP will endorse for Prime Minister. Teh Grorius Reeder has forced himself into this position by simply selecting himself as Party President - despite claiming that he would have a vote! He talks of "bringing more democracy to Canada", but looks more clearly like a last ditch, desperate attempt to seize even more power and rob us all blind! He told his own Party that there would be a vote without for a second really considering having one - which is what he arrested Craig Norman for exposing!


[img]http://lh5.ggpht.com/__7IJpoKX9tk/SYMdk4D2K4I/AAAAAAAAAJc/C1GCoqtREB0/ScroogeMcDuck.png?imgmax=800[/img]
Octavian_F will have you believe that every Canadian
will be swimming in their own private Money Bins full of
gold and a global empire if they vote for him - That was
the Short Version of his Plank - er 'Platform'.


Bear in mind that we all have Octavian_F's personal GUARANTEE that his Plan is fool-proof.
He claims that he "will more than double eCanada's GDP." Well, as we learned from that last election - the eRepublik GDP indicator is a completely unreliable indicator. Two days before the January 5th election we lost 40% of our GDP - then, by some, to this day unexplained miracle - the GDP increased by 40% two days after the election - causing Jacobi great glee. Some of you will recall I ran an article condeming Jacobi's economic policies (which incidentally Octavian_F insists were copied from him). The debate raged onto the eCan forums where all of the nation's top economists (except Octavian_F) weighed in with their reasons as to why this anomoly occurred. The consensus in the end was that the GDP indicator is completely unreliable in determining economic vitality as it is prone to fluctuate violently - and for no detectable reason.



Octavian_F then throws in a graph he found on the web to
show those who skim over his "Master Pran" that by voting for
him all the graphs will go up. But I did one better! I found a graph
that goes up AND has Fibonacci lines!


Then Octavian_F goes into how he intends on mimicing a system used by the Theocrats to create a Canadian utopia. After all, if a small group of individuals could PTO an extremely small country with little or no indigineous community and set it up so that they themselves come out on top, why couldn't he?

In his platform, he writes:

"The "Theocrats" as some may or may not know, are a group in eRepublik, who are like Jews before there was before the takeover of Palestine; a people without a country. The "Theocrats" first hailed from Pakistan, and have a cult following for a player named &quot😉io Brando". Nowadays, they go around taking over small nations and exploiting their economic potential, then moving on to other targets."

Now, let's say we overlook his obvious disdain for Jews ("takeover of Palestine"?).
He says right in his own words:

"...they go around taking over small nations and exploiting their economic potential, then moving on to other targets."

So now, Octavian_F wouldn't for a second dare to exploit Canada's economic potential, then move on to other targets would he? We all love him after all, why would he do that?


This is the real kicker:


"I will devalue the eCanadian currency to as low as it can go in the game; 0.001 gold per CAD."



HOLY SHAZBOT!



Did I just read that right?!? Yes I did, and so did you.



That will be the CAD under an Octavian_F government.
All that currency being swept in the street won't even be enough
to pay the guy sweeping it. Note that there is nobody fighting
eachother to pick it up either.


If you have savings, watch them be worthless. First of all, without gold we can't print a red cent. Second of all, the lowest it can be devalued is to .010 - not .001. Thirdly, even if V2 began tomorrow and the Admins changed that and we print the amount of CAD neccessary to devalue our CAD to .001 per AU then we won't be able to print any more until we get more gold...which we will have to do thru the Money Markets - and even if my miracle we DO get more gold - it'll be exponentially greater a cost to convert it into CAD. Now I know what you're thinking, Octavian_F "owns Teh Money Markets" - he said so himself.

I assure you dear reader - he does NOT.

His CIBC Org with a few hundred of gold of "investor gold" which he parades around as his own personal wealth is NOT even a drop of ball sweat in the Monetary Market bucket. Not even a molecule of ball sweat - despite what HE claims.



Bernie Madoff, with tons of investor gold thought he owned
Teh Money Markets too - until it all crashed down around him.
All it took was a few lofty investors to pull their deposits out and
POOF! There was nothing left to pay all the smaller investors
contractually obligated interest and or dividend payments with!
The ONLY people who didn't get ENTIRELY ripped off were
the ones who got paid last AND got out first!


What Octavian_F - ails to consider by hyperinflating YOUR CAD into the ground is that ANYONE with access to his "Teh Money Markets" can buy it up - LOTS of it - even our enemies! But why would our enemies possibly want to buy up the millions of CAD that it would take to debase the CAD? Let's say the world was flat and Angelina Jolie was naked and knocking on my door right now - and Octavian_F's plan worked. The Hun (or ANY enemy) could have bought up literally MILLIONS of CAD and use it to crash our currency ANY TIME THEY WISHED. Our entire economy would be at the mercy of our enemies - IF Octavian_F's fantasy world could work!

Octavian_F goes on to describe how his Far Right Communist Utopia run by his personal Organization - the "Canadian Unions Association" will be able to make sure that ALL GMs (including Petz) will keep their wages where Octavian_F says, and their prices where Octavian_F says.

Not only could Octavian_F NEVER enforce his Money Market, Wage or Price controls - but what of enemy companies in Canada? Hungary, Iran, France and the United Kingdom ALL had plenty of opportunity to buy up panicking Canadian's companies during the invasion - OR start new ones of their own in our lucrative High Resource regions - AND pay wages higher than Octavian_F's Magic Union would be POWERLESS to stop.

Octavian_F says:

"The WORST thing that could happen in this scenario is that the GMs start raising wages to try and get more workers...However I'm sure that won't happen."


DOES OCTAVIAN_F REALLY THINK THE ENEMY WILL LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HIS PRIVATE UNION CALLS AND TELLS THEM TO LOWER WAGES OR RAISE PRICES? WHO WOULD WANT TO WORK FOR 75,000 CAD PER DAY WHEN THEY COULD EARN 250,000 CAD?



Ohai Hungary, you are hereby "convinced" to lower your wages
and keep your prices where I tell you. Yeah. Zip it!
I am Teh Grorius Reeder - not you, so do what I say, ktxbai.


Is it Medication Time again?

Canadian's didn't listen to him when he tried it the last time, why would our enemies?


But wait - it gets better...


"With wages staying the same, and GMs making more than DOUBLE profits, I'm sure that we can "convince" the GMs to actually lower the prices of goods in eCanada."

What does "Convince" mean? And what happens when they don't "want" to be "convinced"?

Does Teh Grorius Reeder intend on violating the Bill of Rights (Freedom of Association) and tell all the GM's workers to go somewhere else if the GM does not comply? Or maybe he has something else in mind...



Maybe he's gonna make em an offer they can't refuse?
You better hope you don't own a prize winning stallion...


He also wants to close our borders to trade - except Iron of course.

Has Teh Grorius Reeder considered what our allies in the
eRepublik Defence and ECONOMIC Network will say to that? Don't think he's asked a
single one in EDEN about that. The Americans are already making noise about our
protectionist trade barriers that we've established in the Raw Sector - and he can't deny this FACT
because I am the USA Ambassador since last June and have MANY contacts in the US
economic community that can confirm this.



The ONLY people who will have CAD to spend are Canadians,
Iron Importers and anyone with access to "Teh Money Markets".
So - EVERYONE! IF all our goods are produced with practically
slave labour and sold so that Canadians can afford it - whats to
stop entities from coming in and scooping up all our weapons,
houses, gifts, food, etc for next to nothing once they convert their
currencies, or buy up ours with gold on "Teh Money Markets"
for next to nothing?


Now, lets say that every active Canadian quits eRepublik in the next 24 hours and the only people left to vote on February 5th are noobs and 2 clickers and by the grace of Dio, Octoban_F got elected.



*Shudder*



He goes to work with a mass PMing compaign that would put Citizen B to shame telling everyone what they have to do (Free and Open Democracy, hey😉. What defence does Teh Grorius Reeder have against the enemy starting up more manufacturing companies to thwart his Grorius Pran?

Fight them with a .001 value CAD? With that value of currency we'd be prostrate - we wouldn't even be able to print any more CAD! They'll pull our export market out from under us AND our domestic market at the same time! AND they'll have bought up all our cheap goods that we produce for fractions of a penny in their own currency with their Orgs AND could afford to buy up hundreds of thousands of CAD for practically nothing and could hold that currency. IF and when our economy happens to recover - they could just float the CAD they bought for next to nothing back onto Octavian_F's "Teh Monetary Markets" and crash our economy - not only once - but repeatedly - and entirely at their whim.

Not only that, but if all of Canada's GMs were all of a sudden Exporters Extraordinaire - it would be FOREIGN Gov'ts making all the tax revenue via Import Taxes and VATs! Why would anyone NOT raise their Import Taxes if Canada all of a sudden had NO CHOICE but to export everything? Canada's workers, by Octavian_F's "Brirriant Pran" would all be working for the bare eRepublik Minimum Wage, so obviously having any substantial Income Tax is out of the question - or the Workers wouldn't be able to afford anything in their own market! So where would the Gov't revenue come from?



Yay! This is so cool! We can haz into Money Forts!
Oh, and get used to your new Money Fort because who
in their right mind would trade worthless CAD for gold
when you can buy everything you want in Canada with
all your Money Fort CAD? This means that our Currency
would NEVER recover value. Yeah.


But wait - it gets even better!


Octavian_F continues...

"It HAS been done before on numerous occasions, however never on a "big" country... nevertheless, it HAS been SUCCESSFUL on "small" nations. The only problem in "big" nations is communication, but I'm sure that with enough dedication, we'll overcome this obstacle."

Yeah, like countries that have the population of Nova Scotia, ie - Switzerland and South Korea.
And where are they now? Where are those countries now?

Besides, I don't think that ANYONE has called Octavian_F "Teh Great Communicator" before, in the many names he has been called over his 10 months of eLife!


Mmhmmmm...he continues...


"I am the ONLY eCanadian who has had experience leading a "union" in which everyone gets together to democratically discuss issues of this type. The "union" was not like a real life union, and it did not have leader. It was simply a discussion forum, and it managed to get the ENTIRE eCanadian oil industry to work together. Like I have said, many may speculate but NO ONE has experience in leading these types of projects in eCanada."

Note this discrepancy: "I am the ONLY eCanadian who has had experience leading a "union"...it did not have leader...NO ONE has experience in leading these types of projects in eCanada."

So Octavian_F was leader of a "union" which had no leader? Last I recall his "union" was composed of Octavian_F mass PMing GMs telling them where HE thought their prices should be at so he could make a buck. I remember those PMs - as I imagine do many GMs.

"The government can also make their own companies, and they can also export and make a profit while keeping prices artificially low on the domestic market. Moreover, out of patriot duty, workers will be encouraged to NOT work in companies "black listed" for sabotaging the system."

This already is in place (except for the "blacklisting" part) - AND does NOT work as a price fixing system. The Canadian Wheat Board is not even on the first page of Q1 Food anymore - at .75 per unit.
Also - IT IS ILLEGAL TO BLACKLIST as per the Freedom of Association section in the Canadian Bill of Rights. Which leads us to our next image...



Oh man...even IF Octavian_F COULD "black list" you for
disobeying Teh Grorius Reeder - he would need Congress to
tear up the Bill of Rights.
I can Guarantee you that will NOT happen.


He continues...

"I know there will always be those who wish to be pessimistic skeptics for the sake of being pessimistic skeptics, however, in the WORST case scenario, we lose nothing and we get right back where we started. In the meanwhile, goods will be cheaper and GMs will make more money for a little while, so we really have NOTHING to lose."

Except all your CAD savings and the opportunity for our enemies to buy up our devalued CAD at a fraction of a penny AND our cheap products and use the Black Market to get them out of the country.
We won't be able to buy ANY gold on "Teh Money Markets" because there will be NO demand for CAD except to hold onto for the day that it becomes worth something again- OR for economic warfare. If that wasn't enough, every Canadian would be making $75,000 CAD per day and a Q1 food would cost $35,000 CAD to buy - again, bearing in mind that Octavian_F claims he would throw up a protectionist trade barrier to ALL goods.

Not only that - but Iron Importers would not have to have low wages or be subject to "Teh Union's" price controls - and NO Canadian Weapons company could afford to buy Iron - which would have to be priced at $40,000CAD per unit for the importer to be able to afford to pay his workers - and what foreign Iron producer wants to have millions of CAD that NOBODY wants, except to buy up tons of cheap Canadian produced goods leaving nothing for the newly impoverished Canadian worker?



If you disagree with Octavian_F, then this is you - according to him.


But wait - it gets even 'betterer'


And here is the clincher folks - The Country President DOES NOT set taxes, or Print CAD.

That is the exclusive domain of the Legislative Branch of Government, also known as:

Congress - of which Octavian_F has ABSOLUTELY NO influence in...and he should know that - what with him having been a Congressman twice.
Too bad he never bothered to learn anything while he was there or he would KNOW that!

I don't even have to get into his Military Plank as it is entirely dependent upon having limitless gold and money. I've touched on his Domestic Plank (Teh Union) already.



Also, during the writing of this article I recieved this from a citizen name😛 mi lyfe ys average and have expressed written consent to duplicate it for publishing. I quote:

"1. There will be no extra production other than on the linear scale, so if you sell a ton to other nations, then there will not be enough on the domestic market.

2. If your managers lowered domestic goods prices, the
'charity' then people would set up orgs there (in Canada) to buy these cheap goods, stealing even more from the domestic market.

1 and 2 will cause one of two things because the laws of supply and demand.

A. It will cause the prices of goods to raise to their natural level or

B. It will empty your entire market because you have no more production.

3. This would crush everyones savings of the Canadian currency. Gold is the benchmark so I will use that. Lets say that 1 CC (canadian currency) equals 1 gold. If someone has 100 CC, they would have 100 gold. If suddenly that becomes 1 one hundreth of what it is then the person with 100 gold would then have 1 gold.

4. Your nation would go broke. How does a nation gain gold? Taxes to get money (or printing money) then selling it on the MM to get gold. If your money suddenly becomes worthless and you have super low domestic taxes, then you will gain tons less money (BC of low taxes) and what money you do gain would be worth less compaired to gold so you would get less gold."


This also serves to illustrate the FAIL of Octavian_F's Platform.

There will not be enough supply to meet the demand for dirt cheap Canadian goods, which will have the inevitable effect of driving up prices. This is antithetical to Octavian_F's Far Right Communist Utopia, and will bring it crashing down around us all.

Not only that - but our CAD will be worth Jack $#!* and we'll be entirely at the mercy of foreign holdings of our Currency to remain in a state of perpetual chattel slavery.




Indeed - Octavian_F offers a REAL alternative - total collapse into a slave economy at the mercy of our enemies.


And Teh Grorius Reeder will walk away...




...something like this...cuz guess who is gonna have
exclusive access to all "Teh Millions"? Thats right - Octavian_F!




On February 5th - I encourage ALL Canadians to NOT vote for Octavian_F save your CAD!

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