How to Become the Best Phoenix PTO'er EVER!!!

Day 829, 19:44 • Published in USA Canada • by DMV3

Step 1: Create a newb account!
Step 2😒pend two to three hours on IRC every day chating with new friends (read as suckers!)
Step 3: Get endorsed by your party as a joke.
Step 4: Have your opponent tell your party he'd like to see you get moved so you have a better chance of winning.
Step 5: Get moved to a state where your odds of winning are still low, but slightly better than the original state.
Step 6: Spend 15 gold on campaign ads.
Step 7: Mass email several hundred potential voters.
Step 8: Have your alleged foreign supports leak your name in a public chat room!
Step 9: Get four votes!
Step 10 Lose your election!

If you meet any of these criteria there is a 75% chance you're a PTO'er, if you meet two or more of the above mentioned criteria you're definitely a Phoenix spy and ST6 will be knocking on your door very soon. If you're like me and you accomplished all ten of the steps above, you're not only the BEST PHOENIX SPY EVER, but Phoenix will also make sure you win the upcoming race for eUS President even though you're not running!

Now to be a bit more serious; there is a lot of talk about recruiting new citizens, and citizen retention, but no one seems to wonder why that is so difficult for the eUS. First off new citizens who attempt to either contribute,express an idea that is outside of what certain people believe, or assert themselves as an individual; will either be insulted for being new, or looked upon with suspicion by people who have been around longer than they have.

Secondly, the level of mass paranoia in the eUS is ridiculous, if an incumbent loses an election for any reason it's either part of some kind of nefarious plot, or a PTO attempt. I heard this expressed over and over again last night. Not once did anyone suggest that maybe the candidate had become complacent, or been out-campaigned, or perhaps the voters are just tired of seeing the same people getting elected over and over again.

I'm under no illusion that this article is going to go over well with most people, but someone needs to say what other people will not. Also I want to congratulate Devan Kronos on his campaign and re-election, and thank those who voted for me and supported me during my campaign.