HH-12: Teh-Jak Investments closes

Day 497, 09:03 • Published in Singapore Singapore • by lightofsirius

Issue 12 begins HH turn to less subtle humour. This issue is a special celebrating our local language - Singlish! We draw choice words from Coxford Singlish Dictionary in our Singlish 6-issues series with a theme for each issue. Coxford University is the leading authority in the development of Singlish in the Singlosphere. Singaporeans have been complaining about the huge influx of Banglah and Chinah Workers in our local labour pool. When one enters the NEL of the MRT, one wonders if one had just entered India's subway; a loud voice speaking Chinese with a thick Chinah accent on the mobile phone is a mainstay in the MRT stations and trains as well. With Singlish, we immediately know whether the subject in question is a Singdian* or a Indian/Banglah, and whether the subject is a Singnese* or a Chinese.

*Singnese & Singdian is used to differentiate Singporean Chinese and Singaporean Indian from their native counterparts.

This issue's theme is 'Personalities'. We would like to introduce to our foreign (but eSingaporean leh) friends the different personalities in Singapore. Note that the author simply mimicks the Coxford Dictionary, and do not promote racism or social division, but might be aware of their existence.

01. Ang Moh/Ang Mor
Hokkien for 'red-haired'. A term used to describe Caucasians. Note that it used to be pejorative, but it lost its insulting connotations with widespread usage, even among the Ang Mohs themselves!

02. Ah Beng/Beng
Hokkien for 'bright' (Chinese: Ming). Used like Joe Schmoe in a degoratory way. It is used to describe a typical unsophisticated Singnese teenager guy, extremely commonly found squatting on seats around in HDB void decks. They travel around in packs. The common walk-about attire is stereotyped a cap, a bright-coloured t-shirt, a pair of boardies, and flip-flops. The stereotype speaks a mixture of Chinese, Hokkien, and sprinkles of English words.

03. Ah Lian/Lian
Hokkien for 'lotus' (Chinese: Lian). The female equivalent of the Ah Beng. The common walk-about attire is virtually the same except for a pair of mini-shorts replacing the boardies.

04. Ah Seng
Hokkien for 'future' (Chinese: Cheng).Used like John Smith, the Singaporean everyman. The name makes regular appearances in schoolbooks and texts. It used to be the most common name in Singapore in its colonial past. Although that has changed, its 'John Smith' usage has taken root into the Singlish vocabulary.

05. Ah Huay
Hokkien for 'flower' (Chinese: Hua).The female equivalent of Ah Seng, Jane Smith. The name joins Ah Seng

06. Mat/Mat Roker
A contraction of 'Ahmad', the Malay equivalent of Ah Seng. The Malay equivalent of the Ah Beng. However, in this case, due to the heavy influence of heavy metal music on the Malay teenage culture, the term 'Roker' appears.

07. Ah Pek
A stereotype of an old man, an English term being 'uncle'.

08. Ah Soh
A stereotype of a housewife, an English term being 'auntie'. The stereotype being loudmouthed in public places, gossiping over everything.

09. Tai-tai
A term used to describe the wife of a rich businessman, who is usually overseas. The stereotypical tai-tai has her clique of tai-tais who will spend their days playing mahjong or other gambling games, going on shopping sprees, having high tea or buffet, and several other high-end activites.

10. Atas
Malay for 'upstairs', usually used in an anti-elitist context. Used to describe the upper-class in social class division.

..::Current Affairs::..

Teh-Jak Investments filled
With all the spaces filled up by investors from all over eSingapore, Teh-Jak Investments has closed its investments and is readying itself for the starting of the four companies on the 6th of April, Monday. Teh-Jak Corp hopes to open a second round of investments soon, and hope that more citizens will be able to participate then.

eLove doctor continues his series
Our eSingapore's eLove doctor continues his series on love issues; this time on marriage, and what girls really want from guys, conflicting with what guys really wnat from girls. Citizens from both gender might be able to learn something here, and boost population rates.

Arbryn confirmed to be the only supported president
In the forums and IRC, it is confirmed that Arbryn will be backed by all parties in eSingapore, and shall be the only candidate available for voting. So if eSingaporeans should see anyone else on that day of election, they will know its a take-over attempt.

More baby-boomers publishing newspapers
Yesterday, we had another baby-boomer publishing his inaugural article. Astatine, an active citizen, wrote a brief article announcing his newspaper's birth. Everyone looks on as they hope for a newspaper filling the role of another genre, or perhaps, a personal-type newspaper, a common mode of public communication. Also, gadoken, a political neutral, has published his first issue of The Circular, bringing to light very current issues.
..::International Affairs::..

Shandong makes eChina 6-region strong
With one more successful resistance war being executed, eChina grew one region stronger with Shandong's introduction. eChina now includes, Anhui as the captial, Beijing, Henan, Ningxia, Shandong, Shanghai, and Yunan; although it is only 299 citizens strong, with support from other countries, it manage to accomplish its goals to gain back its regions.

eUSA president gets interviewed
Scrabman is the incumbent president of the eUSA, and recently, he has been featured in an interview. The interview asked penetrating questions about his term as president in infrastructure, economy, regional relations, military, and international relations.

Umbrella Corp migrates to Denmark
Umbrella Corp, a huge conglomerate, has entered Denmark, saying that the corporation wants to help Denmark economically, and do hope for a congressional seat so as to be able to work closely with the government. Opinions are divided as to welcome them like as the Danish Times stated or to be xenophobic towards them. Caution is employed both ways of course.

Danish President impeached
Days after Uncle Sam's impeachment as eUSA president, the Danish President has been impeached, joining ranks with the rare impeached presidents of eRepublik. His article to the Danish people was one of resentment, as one can see from the amount of 'colourful' language used.

New World citizen mocks eRomania
Being one of the strongest countries in eRepublik, eRomania has done a lot in its time. A citizen writes an article with a mocking tone, congratulating eRomania on its accomplishments. One of which isn't included being Rupetot's political take-over of eSingapore, and the rape of its treasury.
..::Editorial::..

Well, it has been quiet today. Not much happened. What do you guys think of the Singlish section of the newspaper? Anyway, I'm all out support for Arbryn, to continue her second term. Much is to be done, and its a very crucial stage of eSingapore. I'm glad to say that my investments are done. And we are ready for the starting up of the comapanies on 6th April. I'm glad for eChina, since I was there last time before I came to my motherland. I'm also glad for the vibrant media we have now. Nothing much to say in this issue, but to wish all citizens well, and well, keep growing eSingapore together! Orang Singapura bersatu, majulah Singapura!
..:😕etters::..
Note that these unedited letters are by citizens, and does not neccessarily represent the views of the press director.

Congressmen not serious
by Magickiller9
After talking to some of the players, they too also think that a few of the congress holder are just playing around, and not really doing their own job of serving the citizen. i do feel that when the next congress election come again. We really have to think hard and think twice before giving a vote to that person. I am not saying that the congress member are not doing their job, but still we really have to think about before giving our vote as every vote count and it could ruin Singapore’s future for very long.
..::Classifieds::..

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