Dear Indonesia

Day 1,054, 10:46 • Published in Indonesia USA • by Joe Newton
Dear Indonesia,

The United States recently received a very interesting letter from your esteemed President, Admiral Proudmoore. He asked us why we are not attacking Indonesia. It appears that he doesn’t care that Indonesia is the only Major power to have it’s original regions never violated by a foreign power. He wanted us to attack Indonesia, and if we attacked we would of course win. For an example of our might, and Visa cards, see the most recent battle of Lion King. There is no doubt we can conquer you.

I'll admit, the idea was appealing at first. Attractive even. But then we stopped to consider what we would gain from attacking Indonesia. There isn't a whole lot. Indonesia is worthless now. You have no empire anymore. Why would we waste our time with a dried up old carcass? Seriously. For a certain President of yours to try and coax us into attacking is just laughable. We don't want you.

Speaking of which, why is it that your President is willing to have the United States take Indonesia territory, but not Serbia? Isn't there something wrong with this picture? Indonesia is more loyal to it's greatest enemy than it's friend? Oh Indonesia, we know you want us to penetrate you, but we're not going to. Stop asking.

Maybe we’ll take Karnataka back. That could be entertaining for us, and we’d love to fight along side the new Mighty Dioist Pakistan Empire. But even then, we’d have to see Indians. Gross.



"Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul."
-Mark Twain