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The Fieldist Volume II, Issue 17
The News Gustavus Adolphus Doesn't Want You to Know!

The Secret Plan to Invade Germany-Austria
The Fieldist's international bureau has uncovered the details of Operation Snowstorm, the Swedish-led invasion of Germany-Austria. ATLANTIS, Swedish, and Polish officials denied any type of involvement in what they called an "outrageous scheme." However, an military planner, who refused to be identified in the pages of this newspaper, said that the invasion is likely.

"It's really very simple," said the planner, "while the whole world is involved with this Romanian-Indonesian conflict, we'll slip in and conquer Germany-Austria. It will be very quiet, except for the massive explosions going on in Germany."

Snowstorm calls for a three-pronged assault. First, Sweden will invade into northern Germany, reclaiming the country for Sweden. Second, Poland will invade from the east, reclaiming what they consider the birthright of their nation. While both invasions tie up German forces, and with most PEACE forces held down by Romania, the Swedish Special Ops will assist the Hapsburg's Raiders resistance forces in Austria, attempting to liberate that nation.

Swedish officials denied any existence of any plan similar or with the same intent as Operation Snowstorm. "This all sounds rather wild and silly," said one cabinet official while hastily shoveling some papers into his desk, and putting his computer on screen saver.

Advisors close to the Reichspräsident and Parliament reported that Schloss Bellevue and the Bundestag remained unbowed by reports of Swedish planning. "Naturally, we expect such an invasion, especially in uncertain times," said one unidentified member of the Bundestag, "but I swear to you, every man, woman, child, dog, and chocolate will rise up and defend our land against the foreign invaders. The Fourth Reich will not fall. We are predetermined to be the dominant power in Central Europe, and the Swedes with their pretensions to a Baltic Empire will find out that Germany is a tough nut to crack."

He then placed his stalhelm back onto his head, and put some more sandbags around his desk. The windows were boarded up.

Gung-Ho American Spirit Revives in Wake of Mexican Disaster
Young US soldiers are ready to go to war, and their cries to join in the impending World War III are becoming more and more vehement. Many believe that the days spent fighting Mexico were their best days.

"I'm ready to give my life for the country," said a student at PCRI who refused to give his name in case someone took him up on the statement. "I truly believe in dulce et decorum est pro patria mori. This country has been sidelined and ignored far too long by the rest of the world. It seems like years since we've gone to war, and I want my chance to die for the USA! Eee-Yaaah!"

Upper echelon was understandably wary about going to war. "The generals certainly want to give these young men a chance to die," said a staffer for the Joint Chiefs. "But in light of the recent defeat in Mexico, we feel it might be wiser to wait for a mutual protection pact to trigger, rather than go to war immediately. Don't get them wrong, a lot of good things happen when Americans go to war: Ernest Hemingway novels, the Baby Boom, Vietnam movies, increased oil... But it's hard to figure out where. We're considering Ireland as an option."

We at the Fieldist appreciate the foresight and patriotism these young Americans are displaying. This is certainly a story of young people displaying their own initiative, and taking agency over the country. The generals would be wise to listen to the young people. We believe the Pan-American Lobby had plans before they were forced to disband. There was a mad Fleming if my memory serves me well. And that Sir Alan Brooke was it, of the American Imperialist Party...

Fieldist Criticized for Doing Its Duty
In recent Issues of the Fieldist, many have taken issue with our style of reporting and the tone of the paper. We at the Fieldist believe that America is currently a democracy. For voters to make an informed decision, they require all the news that is available. Readers must be discerning. Extremely wise and discerning readers choose to read the Fieldist.

Unpatriotic Americans have attempted to undercut the legitimacy of the information offered to you in the Fieldist. However, we stand by you, the reader in these trying times. We are here to bring you the most up-to-date, most well-researched, well-written, truthy news possible. We don't just give you the news, we attempt to get you to feel it in your gut. More patriotic Americans choose the Fieldist over any other paper. More unpatriotic Americans read other newspapers. If you are an unpatriotic American, we suggest you get your news from another source. We also suggest you go look at the New Jersey state bird.

The Fieldist Endores & the Fun-Run
From the Great State of Washington: mindflay (CvP)
From the Greatest State of Rhode Islan😛 SamWystan (AAP)
From the Great State of Florida: Ananias (USWP)

If you'd like to be endorsed by the Fieldist, simply make sure that when you announce your candidacy, you nominate SamWystan for Secretary of Fun/Fun Czar. The Fieldist is an equal-opportunity endorser, with no regard for political party, gender, incumbency, state of residence, or nationality.