ChubbZilla Escapes!

Day 1,440, 16:04 • Published in South Africa USA • by Mashaka Kulala
BREAKING NEWS: Alleged Sheep Offender Escapes



14:23, Gauteng.

An anonymous photographer sent in the above photograph soon after wires were received reporting that ChubbZilla escaped this morning from a Maximum Security Prison outside of Johannesburg. The alleged sheep-shagger is said to have broken out with the help of a handful of commandos thought to be affiliated with the Open Opportunity Party. Opponents of ChubbZilla have suggested a connection to the Sheepophile Underground, a little-known group that claims to support the spread of free and woolly love, but which some have named a terrorist organization. The spokesman for SU has denied any involvement.

The defense for the accused, Wet, Esq., has not returned calls and e-mails requesting an official comment.



“ 😮 “ is the initial response from Judge Crumoet, who presided over the trial of ChubbZilla .

eSouth Africans can expect updates as the story develops.

UPDATE 15:07 - A communiqué has been received from an underground source, believed to be authored by ChubbZilla himself. The release, which has yet to be redacted for full disclosure to the public, claims that the escape of ChubbZilla is “only the beginning,” and that “a vast network of eSouth Africans” are now in league with ChubbZilla’s “rebellion” against “the powers that be”, who the document accuses of undermining the “free and open development” of eSouth Africa and her citizens, “be they sheepophiles, soldiers, two-clickers, or complete n00bs.”

The fiery manifesto concludes with an announcement of ChubbZilla’s intention to run for President of eSouth Africa in the elections set for the 5th of November - known in many nations as Guy Fawkes Day – under the OOPS banner.

UPDATE 15:57 - I, Mashaka Kulala, having followed closely the developments surrounding the trial, escape, and political resurgence of ChubbZilla, and having considered the present situation of eSouth Africa, have agreed to run as his Vice President.

I assure you that my involvement in the Rebellion does not in any way colour my journalistic integrity.

Vote Liberty, Vote Solidarity, Vote Free Love, Vote ChubbZilla!


Mashaka Kulala
Vice Presidential Candidate
Congressman
dMoF
OOPS Party President
Assegai Prospect