Bridge Over The River Atlantic
Day 782, 15:16
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Published in United Kingdom 
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by
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by Tyler F Durden
eGobba eMap < Great for seeing how surrounded you are!
The following is an historical account of what has led
the eUK to be in the position it finds itself in today...
Summer, 2009...
I am eHungary! I am mighty! Whom amongst you will do my bidding?
In exchange I will ensure your continued political success.
Oh, here I am! I am Hassan. I will do thy bidding, master!
I also have a willing accomplice - Dishmcds!
Fine. You shall do fine. I will require one thing of you immediately.
What is thy bidding, my master?
We will require one of your regions to create a land bridge
to North America.
[img]http://blog.washingtonpost.com/fairfaxfocus/Kwai.JPG[/img]
I don't forsee there being any problem with that.
You do realize that you are betraying your
historical allies - Canada & USA?
Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it...
Yes, I am quite aware of the consequences of my actions. However,
I am supremely confident in your ability to shield us from the inevitably
righteous retribution to befall us for this colossal betrayal.
Oh you dirty, lowdown opportunistic basterds...I even let you
shave my chest and oil my skin for this shot.
So now that we are agreed, what regions do you have
over there to offer us, UK?
What about Wales?
Moron. We do not require your Saturday evening date!
We require a land bridge to North America.
I know, I know! Scotland, my master! Take Scotland!
We don't really give a sh!t about that region anyways!
Besides, not like there is any Q5 Glen Livet comin'
in from there!
Very well. You have decided....wisely
Goddamn English!!!
Where the hell is William Wallace when you need him?!?
Here we see how the world looked on Day 601...
Shortly thereafter - notice eUK occupied Alberta, New Brunswick, PEI, NFLD and soon to be Nova Scotia
Canada had been wiped off the map - refusing all surrender proposals. The USA was pushed all the way into Florida. Uncle Sam signed a peace treaty here and there - and then, like a coiled spring - sprung out from the corner in which it was pushed and together the Brolliance pushed every last PEACEnik out of North America.
Spain too was wiped from the face of the Earth. They launched their own war of retribution against France, which no doubt the UK has been following with great interest. Germany. Gone. Slovenia? Who?
January, 2010...
If I may, my master...uh, Dishmcds here. Serbia has been
asking me to inquire about Kosovo. They're quite adamant
master, they say they have waited long enough.
Does my facial expression convey to you that I give a
rat's ass about Kosovo? It doesn't even exist in eRep you moron!
Where do I find these 'allies'? FFS!
Planning the invasion of Kosovo - a region which
does NOT exist in eRepublik. Pictured above, eSerbian
High Command working out final details.
Clutched in his hand is the gag ball which
he wears when 'play time' comes around...
Back in North America, Brolliance and EDEN have been enjoying victory after victory.
They have eliminated Iran as a meaningful threat and removed Indonesia from their High Iron and High Grain in India.
We were mentioned! We were mentioned!
Victory for glorious Iran!!! Are these feathers high enough?
The Brolliance team working out the finer details of the
Allied counterattack, which included highly strategic targets
which at this time did NOT include the UK.
Now the UK finds itself utterly surrounded by hostile enemies wishing to drink the blood of retribution.
Entrenched UK "leadership" now realizes the position
they have put themselves into. Talk about betting on the
wrong horse!
Uhh...master? We humbly request your protection now...
Oh yes, of course...I'm just gonna go walk over here now...
follow me young learner, I have sneaking suspicion...
What is this?!? Some kind of trap? Have you betrayed us, UK?
They're falling for it sir! Should we get out the tea bags?
Yes! Initiate Operation Teabag! I love my small print!
This Karnataka High Iron sure has come in handy!
You from around here sweetheart?
Hmmm...this doesn't look good. Hey look, whats that over there?
*Hungary takes off to protect it's own borders leaving UK high & dry,
which is hard to accomplish in a region where it rains non stop.
Eugene Harlot: "Leave Dishmcds for me...I have been
waiting for this for a LONG time".
USA, Spain, Canada. Oh look, there you are UK!
United Faildom, meet submachine gun!
Let's get it on!
We'll hit that button eventually...after all, it wouldn't be an Allied Surprise Attack if we didn't inundate you to death first with warnings of impending doom.
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Comments
Let's get it on!
[removed]
Voted!
Wooo! UK, Here we come!
Biased views are biased.
Put up or shut up.
nice TFD
Scotland doesn't have much sheep around compared to wales. I demand a picture of William Wallace's Monument.
all talk no action. its also funny because of all countries, canada is the least of ANYONES worries
You're about as comedy as Poland. It's a big ask, I know, but maybe when you hit the button, you'll gain a sense of humour 😉
"Come on if you think you're hard enough."
Also, you got the Scotland-Wales thing mixed up.
Fair play. That's some pretty good trolling. A bit more imaginitive than we are used to seeing.
Hurry up & push the button!
All talk no pushin the button make eUK very bored of your silly jokes.
Either do something or stop trolling. We're here waiting for ya.
"all talk no action. its also funny because of all countries, canada is the least of ANYONES worries "
That is funny coming from the UK, considering Canada kicked you guys off the continent. What? You let them take back their territory from you because you just didn't "worry" about them?
You know what? I would believe that.
Clever, thanks!
Lol, voted 🙂
NO
SLEEP
TILL
LONDON!!!
haha, I like it
great movie
pretty accurate
"all talk no action. its also funny because of all countries, canada is the least of ANYONES worries"
And Yes Canada still has kicked the UK's ass every time we tangled. That just tells you how monumentally screwed you are.
LET'S
GET IN
ONNNNN!
(In a UK-neutral sort of way.)
GlaDOS, you are incorrect, after the RWs to get our territories back that could have been won by our level 7's and under, I believe the eUK is the least of anyone's worries
Hail EDEN! Down with Phoenix!
Kill those betraying redcoat bastards!
GLaDOS is just sad that his country is the laughing stock of the New World.
Hysterical article.
But attacking the eUK is like smacking a 7-year old in the face and taking his ice cream cone while he runs home to mommy.
Let's take on a worthy opponent, like Hungary, Russia, or Serbia.
The Brits have nothing we want and are beneath contempt.
Let them rot away in obscurity and shame on their mossy island.
Stop making excuses and invade already.
Is Hassan a british name?
Second result when Googling:
"serb rebels" brings up that image.
Don't blame me - blame Google.
Seeing as Serbia doesn't even have a professional army ( http://www.balkaninsight.com/en/main/news/24181/" target="_blank">http://www.balkaninsight.com/en/main/new[..]4181/ ), I searched next for images of Serb rebels, and THAT is what came up.
Maybe there was a "they killed" before "Serb rebels" ? 🙂
>Uncle Sam signed a peace treaty here and there
EMERICK
'NO
SLEEP
TILL
LONDON!!!'
Given america need at least four days to get to london if they invade now... you'll die before that happens O.O
that's what I call fanaticism...
oh yeah, obligitary:
PUSH THE BUTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!
LOL fantastic
This made me LOL. You get a vote.
Eugene Harlot: "Leave Dishmcds for me...I have been
waiting for this for a LONG time".
Pure win.
The picture of the Serb in the thong looks pretty accurate to me
Don't forget the part where the Us removed hungary from hello kitty and was rewarded with a high iron region by china. No wait. My mistake *Facepalms*
LMAO! Nice job Durden. o7
Classic! I rofl'd - excellently done ... and I'm stealing the last 2 graphics to use myself. Voted!
Serbia doesn't have proffesional army?
Serbian army before Canadian teritory was discovered
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_history_of_Serbia" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_hi[..]rbia
Active Military of Serbia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_of_Serbia" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_of[..]rbia
@Spencer Magee
If your father is Serb that does not mean every Serb looks like that.
HAVE means current.
That Wiki article was last editted today - probably by you.
Newsflash: Wikipedia is NOT considered a bona fide source of reference
(or have you never been to university and tried to use Wiki as such?).
Professional army means education (only one 'f' in professional).
As I linked to previously, an excerpt:
"Serbia's Army Chief of General Staff Lieutenant General Miloje Miletic said on Thursday that the army will become fully professional by the first half of 2011 at the latest.
Speaking at a conference 'Necessary Skills for Serbian Army Officers, 2010-2020', Miletic said that Serbian officers will be educated according to NATO standards."
THAT is what a professional army is - by DEFINITION, one that is educated up to a certain predetermined standard - which Serbia currently is NOT (but plans to be as part of a 2010-2020 initiative).
Now go back under your bridge you troll before I put that pic back up and advertise it in your country, cuz guess what - you don't know me - I'll do it and keep it there until I'm banned.
Cuz I don't care.
Try me.
Inpending doom is funnier then I thought.
But srsly, get to action. It's boring.
"😢...)But attacking the eUK is like smacking a 7-year old in the face and taking his ice cream cone while he runs home to mommy.
Let's take on a worthy opponent, like Hungary, Russia, or Serbia.
The Brits have nothing we want and are beneath contempt.
Let them rot away in obscurity and shame on their mossy island.(...)"
yes, but nothing would be more satisfying than seeing those little British basterds humiliated biting the dust 🙂
they deserve it
Oh look, more trolls who can't hit buttons.
Dish, if only I had the button...
😉
I had some really trouble pressing the buttons on my keyboard to type this. Don't worry TFD, they know it's coming, they just like acting tough before it hits
Then they'll b!tch about imperialism
@Tyler
Dude, I live in Serbia, my father, and his father served in the Yugoslav Army, and after the breakup Yugoslav Army became Serbian Army in wich I will serve next year.
Your comments only show you how little you know about this part of Europe...
Btw, if we haven't had pro army then who did this to 2 bilion $ worth stelth bomber during 1999. NATO agression on Serbia?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naEr9u0Mxuw&feature=related" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naEr9u0Mx[..]ated
Militia?
You can come to Belgrade Air museum and see parts of NATO 21. century planes destroyed by 1980s technology.
For your ignorant majesty Yugoslav army was 4th in its strenght during 80s
http://www.vs.rs/index.php" target="_blank">http://www.vs.rs/index.php
Oh yeah, I changed Wiki article... Did I published official site of Serbian Army?
MMM COME GET SOME JUNIAH!
WEAK SAUCE.
You missed the MAIN POINT - which is typical with young people today.
SO reactionary and overlook what is staring them in the face.
A professional army is one that is educated to a predetermined standard, which the Serbian army currently IS NOT.
It does not mean shooting down planes with 1980's technology.
Now go away, or I'll have to report you for spamming and flaming.
Now get off my porch.
\o/