AB's Proposal

Day 665, 18:25 • Published in Canada Canada • by Augustus Baldwin


Canada is in dire times. Our leadership, especially the civilian and military, have been working tirelessly to ensure we can meet the demands of this war, and ensure our nation will emerge wholly restored. We have been put to the test. Our resolve has been challenged, and our determination questioned.

Continual siege, from without and sometimes from within, has a way of drawing a besieged people together. Canada and America have signed the Brolliance. Canada has joined EDEN. And a bunch of stupid people have decided to get fake married.

I have to admit that this binding has not been exclusive to nations and stupid people. It is very much real in personal relationships too, most obviously between the leaders of ‘We the Besieged Nations,’ but also amongst its people.

So when a conference of eCanadian leaders was called in beautiful San Francisco, California, I had my own alliance of sorts in the min😛 An alliance... in the bum.

As I have already impressed, during times of siege people come to rely on each other, and get to know one another, and see the others' best (and worst) –especially when it seems like the whole world is turning on you- and a certain someone in our eCanadian leadership has made an impression on me.


"Castro Street, San Fransico, California"

So as we were waiting in the hall of Big Al's on Castro Street on a cool and crisp fall’s night, I asked this person if they had ever played sweaty, half-naked volleyball with Maverick and Goose at TOP GUN. The reply was, “Only when I close my eyes”.

So I insisted that he close his eyes…


"Possibly the gayest game of volleyball in the history of volleyball."

As we walked I forced myself to pretend to still be interested in the topic of the conference in San Francisco (that is, winning the war), which never ceases to be the focus of all our conversations. In truth, at least this time, something else was weighing heavily on my mind. And while I nodded the normal yes to statements, I had to admit to myself that there was a different battle being waged inside me... a battle in my pants. After convincing myself that I might as well go for it I took the leap of faith and candidly interrupted my friend, and declared,

“There’s something I have to ask you.”


“…Yeah? What is it now? More pestering about reforms? I told you I was taking care of it!”





"Scorpius, will you bend over and take one for the team?"


Sincerely,
AB








"Annnd IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love yoooooooooooooooooou"