Its back and with a few helpful tips!
vrpanch
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Lt. Gen. K9Fun661
Executive Officer
Airborne
Valentine’s Day is coming up so I’m going to give some advice for everyone. I know it’s everyone’s favorite holiday so I want to help you all make it the best ever!
People already in long-term relationships:
-Stop reading this and skip to the end. You don’t need a special day to be romantic. You should be romantic every day.
People in new relationships:
-Spoil the crap out of your significant other. Chocolate, flowers, sexual fantasies. I can’t stress that last one enough.
People looking for relationships:
-Assuming you are close enough to the person, just ask them out. People like assertiveness.
-Get them a card.
-Send them flowers.
-Kidnap them and chain them in your dungeon until they agree to date you.
People looking to hook-up:
-This is your lucky day! It’s like shooting fish in a barrel! Picking people up is going to be super easy.
-If you are over 21, go to the bar, look for someone in red that doesn’t have a ring on their finger and isn’t with someone of the opposite sex, and talk to them. I can’t create a conversation for you but the Rangers are playing Feb 14th so I suggest talking about how awesome they are. Key Rangers topics: Lundqvist’s neck injury, Rick Nash can’t stop scoring.
-If you are under 21 and can’t sneak into a bar, try a coffee shop or the mall or where ever you kids hang out these days.
-Tinder. I’ve never used it since it didn’t come out until I was already in a committed, monogamous relationship (damnit) but it seems like a wonderful idea.
Well, there you go, my hints for an awesome Valentine’s Day. And if you can’t get any of those, here’s two more options!
-Go to the strip club. The dancers will happily flirt with you and show some skin! Plus it’s good for the economy.
-Enjoy this picture of Vin Diesel
Happy Valentine’s Day!
-Col. Greenday4537
DCO of 101st Divison (Furry Chubb’s Battalion)
Your Lord & Master
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Department of the Army
CHAIN OF COMMAND
______________________________________
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Best Regards,
General Nfin
Army CO
Here are some jokes to end this week’s article on a lighter side.
1. Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time? Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.
2. An attractive Girl sits on a guys lap. After a few second the girl asks "You don't have a boner? How do you do it?" The man repllies "Its harder than you think."
3. Teacher to Student:
T: "Use the word 'centimeter' in a sentence"
S: "My grandma was arriving at the train station so i was centimeter"
T: "No, no, that's 'Sent to meet her'. Okay, try another one. Use 'contagious' in a sentence please"
S: "I had to wait at the train station for hours because it took that contagious!"
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Shout:
Its back and with a few helpful tips! | http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2495382/1/20 | ~Official eUS Military Press Release~
Comments
First reserved. Shout: Its back and with a few helpful tips! | http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2495382/1/20 | ~Official eUS Military Press Release~
o7
o7
That last joke, wow...
Happy Single's Awareness Day in advance!!
Baaaa
Ha. contagious.
Boated.
o7
Voted
Borted
woof
\o/
o7
I'm serving in the eUSArmy, where I started out almost six years ago as a buck private.
I earned Temporary Platoon Leader, filling in as needed.
I became Media Officer, then joined the Intel team (back when we could actually do background checks)
I became the first Quartermaster General, then eventually earned the rank of Major General.
to those interested, I want to tell you this:
the eUSArmy is an outfit where you can-- and will-- advance according to your own sheer will and personal drive.
you want to be a leader? then lead.
you want rank? then lead well.
You could have sent this as a message to me and I would have added it to next week's article. 🙂 thank you for this inspirational message.
nobody asked for this old soldier's story..
o7