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本期焦點：肯德基爺爺在eROC
FOCUS：Colonel Sanders is in eROC

Language: English & Chinese(Traditional)

【政治新聞】【 POLITICS 】

eROC總統府剛剛成立，總統Bill已於近日發佈了第一波內閣名單。
在內閣名單當中，本報注意到一個不尋常的人事安排發生在參謀總部。
被任命為第一任參謀總長的是人稱老徐的Kirk.Xu。

The Office of eROC President has been settled down. The President Bill just announced the member list of the Cabinet. In this list, we noticed an unusual appointment in the General Staff Headquarters (GSH). The first Chief of eROC GSH is Kirk.Xu, who was also called as OldXu.



老徐究竟是何許人也？上圖就是他在eRepublik的圖片 – 神祕的草泥馬徽章。
只有非比尋常的人物才會使用像草泥馬這麼神祕的動物做為徽章。
然而，或許你也注意到了，
他的出版刊物【老徐觀點】、以及他在e台灣論壇上所用的圖示是下面這個，
是的，那是一隻雞。

Who is OldXu? The above picture is his profile symbol in eRepublik – a mysterious “Tsao-Ni-Ma” badge.
However, maybe you has noticed that the picture he used in his publication “Kirk saying” and in eROC Taiwan Forum is another one below. Right, it’s a cock.



就是這隻雞。
本報特別放上三張不同角度的圖，好讓讀者可以看得更清楚。

This is the Cock.
We present three pictures with three different views to let you understand fully at a glance.


所以老徐是隻公雞？乍看之下似乎如此，然而…歹誌麥親像憨郎想ㄟ這泥簡單。
本報特派記者在國防部潛伏長達三十分鐘後得到了極為珍貴的真相，那就是 --

– 老徐的本尊是 - 肯德基爺爺！！

So, OldXu is a cock? It seems like that, but things would never happen as what stupid men thought. After we sent a reporter as an inside man in the government for longer than thirty minutes, we got the extremely rare and valuable truth. That is – OldXu’s true color is – Colonel Sanders!



上圖為本報臥底記者之遺作，在他勇敢地傳出這張照片之後，他就不知為何地失聯了。
(如有民眾知道內情，請撥打爆料專線：0800-092-000。)
(有坐骨神經痛的民眾，也可撥打此專線。本報因預算不足和健健美中醫診所共用一支專線。)

The above picture is the posthumous work of our inside man. After he sent this picture to our company bravely, we lost him inexplicably.
(If anyone knows what happened, please call us: 0800-092-000.)
(And, if you suffer from sciatica pain, you can call us, too. YCN shares the same telephone with ZZB Chinese Medicine Clinic.)


看到上面這張肯德基爺爺和公雞的合照，
你是否聯想到另一個有著類似造型的政府祕密組織頭頭?
想不出來也沒關係，本報貼心地為您附上圖片喚起您的記憶：

Seeing the picture with Colonel Sanders and a cock, can you associate it in thinking with a head of a secret government unit? That’s alright if you can’t. We will remind you with some pictures.




是的，就是海賊王新時代的世界政府祕密間諜組織CP9的頭頭，
號稱「歷史上最強的CP9」：鴿子男．路基！
當時他潛伏在「水都．福爾摩莎」，大家都以為有思考力的是他肩膀上的那隻鴿子，
事實上，他使用腹語透過鴿子說話，以隱藏他的真實身份。

Right, he was the head of CIPHER POL 9, a secret unit direct under the World Government in the New Era of One Piece. He was called the strongest CP9 ever been: Dove Man, Rob Lucci.
At that time, he concealed his identity in the “Water City – Formosa”. Everyone falsely believed the dove sat on his shoulder could think and talk. In fact, he played as a ventriloquist and spoke via the dove to hide his real identity.

由此可知，為了特殊的祕密任務需要，政府當中必定有人的身份必須隱藏，
他有足夠的權力動用軍隊，而且一定需要與國防部緊密聯繫。
很顯然的，那個不二人選就是eROC參謀總長 — 老徐！！

So, for special secret missions, there must be someone working for eROC government whose identity has to be hidden. And he must have a close relationship with eROC Ministry of National Defense. Obviously, that person is the Chief of GSH – OldXu!


(老徐擁有動用軍隊的權限，至少可以動用一個人…)
(OldXu has the power to order the eROC military, at least one soldier…)


(參謀總長老徐在eWorld實力莫測，連RL美國總統歐巴馬都要跟他敬禮…)
(OldXu has undetectable power in the eWorld. RL American President Obama has to bow to him…)



那麼，你認為，老徐是使用腹語藉由那隻雞參與eRepublik的活動嗎？
當然不是，一個人可以用腹語透過雞說話，但沒辦法靠腹語透過雞上戰場。
這裡，除了老除是肯德基爺爺之外，我們要揭露的第二個祕密就是：

- 那隻雞是老徐的 – 洩慾工具 替身能力！

So, do you think OldXu uses his ventriloquistic ability to engage activities in eRepublik? Of course not. A ventriloquist can speak by a cock, but he can not combat by that.
Here, one secret is that OldXu’s real identity is Colonel Sanders. And another one is that – the COCK is “The Hand”!!


(空條承太郎 & 替身：白金之星)
(資料來源： JoJo冒險野郎)(SOURCE: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)


(老徐／肯德基爺爺 & 替身：紫色隱雞)
(資料來源：歪西恩)(SOURCE: YCN)

即使老徐戴了帽子掩蓋身份還是被本報認出來，
從上圖可以看出老徐使用替身攻擊敵人的方式，
也或許本報臥底記者就在拍照的瞬間死於此招之下。
不過發掘真相總是會死人的，
就算是名偵探柯南也要死了人才能說出「真相只有一個」這種帥氣的話。

Although this old man wore a hat to hide his identity, we still recognized him as OldXu. The above picture shows the way he killed enemies by The Hand “Purple Hidden Cock.” Perhaps our inside man was killed under this destructive power at the moment he took the picture.
But there must be sacrifice to find out the truth. Even the detective Conan needs dead people to say “Truth is always only one.”


以上，就是本報在不計生命安危所揭露的總長祕密…。
讓我們一起向勇敢的YCN記者致哀十秒鐘：敬禮！

The above is the secret of OldXu we got, no matter it would cost how many lives.
Let us bow to the brave CYN reporter for ten seconds. BOW!




【卡通漫畫】【 COMICS 】

(為配合主題，本期特別提供「雞」漫畫)


《搭遠程飛機你永遠不想聽到的四件事》

#1
『很抱歉，飛機上的酒已經喝完了。』…「真的嗎？」
#2
『請問這裡有醫生嗎？』…「噢喔…」
#3
『請問這裡有飛行員嗎？』…「呃…」（吞口水）


#4
『因為氣候的關係，我們即將提前降落在 Zone 1，而不是原訂計畫的 Zone 4。』…
「嘿！我的錢耶！！」


【休閒旅遊】【 TRAVEL 】

今天要為大家推薦的旅遊景點是”即將”成為世界七大奇景之一的「玉山」。
(就差你這一票了!!)

Today, the sightseeing point we suggest is “YuShan”, which is almost one The World's New Seven Wonders of Nature. (Need one more vote!)


中文連結, English Link

「玉山國家公園」和「玉山銀行」、「玉山冷新聞」一樣，都隸屬於「玉山娛樂事業集團」。
玉山是台灣最高一座山，同時也是非常美麗的一座高山。

“YuShan National Park”, “YuShan Bank”, and “YuShan Chill News” are all belonged to “YuShan Entertainment Enterprise.” YuShan is not only the highest mountain in Taiwan, but also a very beautiful mountain.



這是玉山的夜景，玉山夜景的美是全台灣的小孩都知道的，
有一首讚揚「玉山夜景」的童謠廣為流傳：

『玉山. 玉山. 亮晶晶～ 滿天. 都是. 小星星…』

This is the night scenes in YuShan. Every kid in Taiwan knows the beauty of YuShan Night Scenes.
There is a children's balla😛

”Twinkle, Twinkle, Yu-Yu-Shan. How I wonder what you are.”


【玉山冷新聞】僅代表玉山娛樂事業集團歡迎大家來玉山玩。
不過為避免減少對大自然的破壞，進入玉山時請注意這裡是１８禁２１禁的喔！

YCN, as a member of YuShan Entertainment Enterprise, invited you to YuShan. However, to avoid destruction to the nature, there are 21 DON’Ts.


(會不會太OVER了點?...) (Does nobody think that’s TOO exaggerative?)




《本日YCN值日生》洋蔥頭
《Student on Duty in YCN》Onion

玉山冷新聞邀請台灣最知名的漫畫人物來本報輪值當看版娘。
YuShan Chill News invites all the most famous comic roles from Taiwan to be the show-girls in YCN.


【分類廣告】【 ADVERTISEMENT 】



如果您不嫌棄【玉山冷新聞】，煩請「投票」+「訂閱」吧！感謝您！(左上Vote右上Subscribe)
有您的支持，【玉山冷新聞】會更有力量勇敢地、不畏政治迫害地繼續揭露更多的秘辛!! XD
Last, would you like to read more YuShan Chill News? Please Vote and Subscribe! Thank you!
With your support, YCN will explore more politic secrets bravely!! XD