[YCN] - The eROC President 總統府夜未眠

Day 1,087, 00:40 • Published in Republic of China (Taiwan) Republic of China (Taiwan) • by ReStar

本期焦點：總統和他的總統府
FOCUS：The eROC President & the Presidential Office Building

Language: English & Chinese(Traditional)


【政治新聞】【 POLITICS 】

eROC總統府剛剛成立，總統Bill已於近日發佈了第一波內閣名單。
我們的Bill總統在選舉中獲得高達78%的得票率，在台灣各地舉國歡騰，
人民無不引頸期盼Bill總統在完全執政之後能開創第一波的台灣奇蹟。

The Office of eROC President has been settled down. The President Bill just announced the member list of the Cabinet. He got 78% of votes from all eTaiwaneses. There are a lot of celebration around the country. People wish the President Bill will bring eROC the first economic miracle.


(全民舉國歡騰恭賀Bill總統的勝利)
(People celebrated Bill’s success)


Bill總統和全民一同慶祝台灣的勝利，
人群中有不少名人—瑪莉歐、多啦a夢、魯夫、還有…天吶! 兩位RL總統竟也到場祝賀!!

The President Bill celebrated the triumph of eTaiwan with his people. There were many notables in the crowd, including Mario, Doraemon, Monkey D. Luffy, and ….Oh my! Two RL Taiwan Presidents were there, too!!


【休閒旅遊】【 TRAVEL 】

既然本期以總統及總統府為主軸，當然就要來介紹一下eROC的總統府
— 也就Bill總統辦公的地方囉！

The focus of this issue is ‘the eROC President’. Then, let’s see the Presidential Office Building – that’s where Bill work.



「吶泥？總統府怎麼這麼小！」第一次看到總統府的你一定會十分的驚訝。
你沒看錯，eROC的總統府就是這樣小而美、小而省，這正象徵了勤儉刻苦的台灣精神。
那你知道總統府究竟有多大呢？請見下圖。

“What? How small the Presidential Office Building is!” You must be very surprised to see the Presidential Office Building. Yes, that’s the Presidential Office Building. The Presidential Office Building of eROC is small but beautiful. It represents the Taiwanese spirit -- industrious and thrifty. Do you know how large the Presidential Office Building is? Please see the picture.


是的，RL台灣的陳總統告訴我們正確答案：總統府只有1.86坪。
讓我們一起向將來得在這麼小的地方辦公的Bill總統說聲：您辛苦了！

Right, the President Chen of RL Taiwan gives us the answer: the size of the Presidential Office Building is around 6.15 m2.
Let’s say it to the President Bill who will work in such a small office that “You Must Be Tired!”


總統府本身也是歷史古蹟，建造它的是之前曾經開墾此地的日本人，
而建造的時間是在「海賊王新時代」的初期。
當時的台灣被稱為「水都．福爾摩莎」，和大英帝國的「名偵探．福爾摩斯」齊名。

The Presidential Office Building is also a place of historic interest. It was built by Japanese who cultivated eTaiwan. And it was built at the beginning of “the New Era of One Piece.” During the period, eTaiwan was called “City of Water – FORMOSA”, and shared the fame with the marvelous detective “Sherlock HOLMES” in British.
ps. ‘Formosa’ means ‘Beautiful Island.’


(海賊王時代的台灣) (eTaiwan at the New Era of One Piece)
(感謝eROC老王友情客串!)

這是eROC的光榮歷史，今天，總統Bill將帶領全國人民再創台灣的高峰！
「啊～厚氣啦！」

This is the glorious history of eROC. Nowadays, the President Bill will bring his people to another glorious future.
“Aaaaa~ LUCKY!”



【卡通漫畫】【 COMICS 】



【狗伯特 – e台灣國安顧問】
『任何人只要是在大選前移民境內的，都要視為敵軍間諜。』


『要用鉗子和鑽頭刑求他，不斷動搖他直到他露出餡兒為止！』


「我們花了多少錢得到這樣的建議？」
『完全免費！看在我在你們對街的牙醫診所上班的份上。』


【緋聞八卦】【 GOSSIP 】

有媒體揭露新科總統Bill的羅曼史，並直擊Bill總統與一位神秘女子約會。
以下是該媒體提供的新聞畫面：

One of the mass media explored the romantic story of the President Bill. It also pictured the dating of Bill and a secret girl.
Next is the video offered.


(資料來源：玉山電視台) (Source: YuShan-TV)

此消息一公布，震驚了黨政高層及各大名媛圈，
大家都很好奇這個既神秘又幸運的女孩究竟是誰。
本報已透過特殊管道神到了這個女孩的真實身份，
她的名字叫"Deal"，過去曾經是平面媒體的模特兒。

As the news' spreading, it shocked the government and the Young Ladies' Society. Everyone wanted to know who the secret and lucky girl was.
Today, we had found out the identity of this girl through special relationship. Her name is "Deal". She was a model for magazines before.


( Deal -- 167cm, 48kg, B89, W57, H82 )

大家一定很好奇他們兩個是怎麼在一起的。
據不可靠消息指出，當初Bill是路過台中金X豹酒店門口時認識緋聞女友Deal的。
他們相遇時的對話如下 –

Deal 說："HONEY!" (親愛的!) 《Deal主動上前熱情地給Bill一個大擁抱》
Bill 說："DO I KNOW YOU? (我認識你嗎?)" 《Bill露出遲疑的表情》
Deal 說："BILL?" (付錢嗎?)
Bill 說："DEAL!" (成交!)

然後，他們就成為砲友男女朋友了。

You would like to know how they became a couple.
According to unreliable information, Bill met his gossip girl, Deal, when he passed by the gate of GoldXX Jaguar Palace.
This is their first conversation --

Deal said, "HONEY!" (Deal got close to Bill and gave him a big hug.)
Bill said, "DO I KNOW YOU?" (Bill doubted who this girl was.)
Deal said, "BILL?"
Bill said, "DEAL!"

And then, they made love fell in love.


總統老家的鄰居也透露，常常看到Deal在附近進進出出。
此外，有人還曾見到兩人共同牽著一個小孩開心地出門，沒人能確定是否為Bill總統的公子。

Neighbors near Bill’s home told us that they often saw Deal came in and went out. Besides, somebody mentioned that they had brought a kid happily. No one could confirm whether he is the President Bill’s son or not.


(依兒童保護法規定打上黑條)
(To obey the Laws of Child Protection, we put black bar on the picture)


→→ 欲知更多Bill總統的秘密，請密切鎖定【玉山冷新聞】！！
→→ To find out more the President’s secrets, please follow YCN!!


【鄭重聲明】【 DECLARATION 】

玉山冷新聞為虛擬之八卦小報，所爆內幕只為博君一笑，絕對沒有半點真實。
如果雷同，純屬巧合。
若文中涉及人身攻擊導致遭影涉者的極度不爽，請打專線：0800-092-000，本報將立即下架。
若讀者三月不見續刊，請不要懷疑，主編ReStar應該已經在宜蘭外海和尹清楓上校喝茶了。

IMPORTANT: YCN is a fictitious newspaper. What inside is just for fun, and there is no truth at all.
If someone likes what YCN reports and feels extremely unhappy, please call: 0800-092-000. The newspaper would be off shelf.
If YCN readers find that there is no new YCN publication for more than three months, don't doubt that the editor, ReStar, has been thrown in the Pacific Ocean.


《本日YCN值日生》四小折
《Student on Duty in YCN》off60

玉山冷新聞邀請台灣最知名的漫畫人物來本報輪值當看版娘。
YuShan Chill News invites all the most famous comic roles from Taiwan to be the show-girls in YCN.


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