[WHPR] Come get some Poland!

Day 1,628, 05:58 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room


White House Press Room - Day 1628

In this issue:
- It’s go time America
- Doing the right thing for your country


America comes full circle
Secretary of Media Israel Stevens lets us know the best news a lot of people wanted to hear:

My Fellow Americans,

This morning, the United States, has come full circle.

11 months ago, we were completely occupied by the forces of ONE. Spain, Hungary, Poland and Indonesia all controlled large sections of America. For the first time in our history, we had been wiped from the map. We were beaten, and without a home.


But we were not broken.

We have rallied. We have turned the tables. We have restored our nation, to her rightful position in the world. We have taken foreign lands both by force, and by diplomacy; and now we are poised to extract our revenge.

Once we were invaded, now we return the favor, in full. The United States has proposed Poland as our Natural Enemy. We will have our revenge, America; and it will taste sweet. By this time tomorrow, our forces will be locked in combat with those of Poland.

Make no mistake, this will be a test of strength, coordination and mettle. Poland is one of the most powerful nations we will ever fight against. But we have not come this far, only to fall short. We will be victorious in this endeavor. The liberation of Germany is at hand.

We started with nothing.
We will finish, with everything.



Join an MU and serve your country to the fullest!
Staff Writer JLake4 explains why it’s the best idea to join an MU:

War is upon us!

When war is brought up, one should think first of the gallant men marching to battle against enemies as nefarious as the Polish or Serbians. And that's good, because that's where you should be!

The eUnited States has a whole host of efficient and well-oiled MU's with the primary goal destroying the enemy, and destroying them enough that they trip over themselves running in the opposite direction.

To get started in your eUSAF career, start here! That application sets you up in Boot Camp. Boot Camp will put you in the best position to do damage against the Poles, and to keep the eUSA safe afterwards.

After Boot Camp you become a member of the Air Force, where you get to whoop Polish tail from thousands of feet above their heads. Drop some smart bombs, because apparently they were too dumb not to pick a fight with the US of A!

If you're a heavy hitter already and are looking to hook up with the eUSAF, check this out. The Special Forces could use you! What's better than totally screwing Poland over in a unit as big as the Special Forces? Just imagine the looks on their faces when you let loose on their ill-trained hordes.

Regular Marines not doing it for you? Well amp it up a bit and join the ULTRA Marines! Because they like to go one step further and eviscerate Poles instead of just shooting them dead.

SEAL Team Six also has an application available for those looking to be in that particular MU. Don't be surprised if some stealth helicopters show up in Warsaw looking for Polish brass one of these days.

If you have an iNCi inclination, there's an MU for that, too, OWLs. OWLs is the second largest MU in the country. They deal in damage, and business is good.

If you've got access to IRC's, throughout this campaign drop in on #Defense and #eUS-War to get supplied and figure out where your damage can be best applied. Don't waste it on a foregone conclusion! Turn the tide!

And if the Government-run MU's are too mainstream for you, check the indy MU's down at the bottom of this WHPR out. Like them before they are too cool!

So in the greatest tradition of Americans, go out and fight until there isn't a fight to be found. Make the world safe from the evil forces of ONE that are encroaching upon and conquering our allies in Europe, as we have been historically so we shall be again the great arsenal of democracy and freedom!

In the immortal words of General George S. Patton:



"We are advancing constantly and we are not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy's balls. We are going to twist his balls and kick the living [poop] out of him all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through him like crap through a goose!!"

So grab ahold of some Polish balls and kick them repeatedly until the poor SOB is writing in pain on the ground, and then curb stomp him back to Warsaw. It's the American way!



Recommended Reading:

| The President's Newspaper | Speaker's Word | DoD Civilian Orders | Dept of Education | Dept of Interior |
| White House Press Room | Pony Express | eNPR Radio | Terra Times | Voice of EDEN |

Join a Military or Militia: Links Updated 02.03.12 😉
eRebuglik now breaks links to Google Docs. If your link is broken, please contact this Org with a TinyURL or similar shortcut.
| US Civilian MU | Boot Camp | Special Forces | Ultramarines | SEAL Team 6 | OWLs |
| EZ Company | The Higher Calling | Bad Company | Sons of Liberty | Bear Cavalry | Pickle's Patriots | Hell Jumpers |
| eUS Training Corps | National Guard | Mobile Infantry | eUS Army | Airborne | Marine Corps | Avengers | The ICA |



John Killah
White House Press Corps Director





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