[UK] A Declaration by the 59 United States

Day 780, 00:04 • Published in United Kingdom USA • by Myles Robinson
~To the Citizens of the eUnited Kingdom, and of the world,

A Declaration on behalf of the 59 United States of America

When, in the course of eRepublik events, it becomes necessary for one people to act upon a mutual hatred for the other, and to assume among the powers of the New World the hostile station to which the laws of the Admins and Dio Brando entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of gamers requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the invasion.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: That the eUSA is full of win, that it is endowed by the grace of Dio Brando with certain awesome persons, that among these are Emerick, Harlot, and Max McFarland 2. That to secure this win, the country comes together to defend the territorial integrity of its own regions and those of the weak and unprepared. That whenever any eGovernment becomes invasive and destructive of the aims and security of the eUSA and its allies, it is the right and privilege of the eUSA and its allies to annihilate said government, and to institute in its former place of FAIL a new dominion, laying its foundation on the principles of Win and Lulz, which to it shall seem to be most likely to affect its safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, shall dictate when it is best to seek retribution for the string of offenses committed against the nation and its allies, for invasions should not be embarked upon for light and transient causes; and, accordingly, experience hath shown that eAmericans are more disposed to suffer, when trolling is sufferable, than embark on wars that serve no strategic end other than the fun of revenge. But, when a long train of abuses and attacks, pursuing invariably the same objective evinces a design to destroy the eUnited States of America, it is their right, it is their duty, to destroy such a government, after seeing to the necessity of providing new guards for the security of other nations in immediate need.

Such has been the patient suffering of this nation; and such is now the necessity which constrains them from invading the eUnited Kingdom. The history of the present government of the eUnited Kingdom is a history of repeated injuries and betrayals, all having in direct object the establishment of a foreign dominion over these united states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid worl😛

-They have refused to accept the Art of Win and continue to embrace a policy of fail.
-They have waged cruel war against this nation and its allies.
-They deliberately stalled the creation of Fortis and misled those seeking to enter into that alliance whilst secretly negotiating with the nations of the PEACE Global Community.
-They have kept towards us, in times of hostility and perceived peace, a wish to destroy and distract our nation.
-They have willingly aided and abetted the Indo-Hungarian alliance formerly known as PEACE, now known as Phoenix, in its attempts to establish global dominion of all nations in the New World that refuse to submit to their will.
-They have obstructed the administration of justice in Asia, the Americas, and Europe, creating battles on our eastern seaboard in an attempt to block liberation efforts.
-They have attempted to render the two-clicker military independent of the Department of Citizen Orders through distraction battles.
-They have elected a multitude of poor offices, many either having in their interests our destruction--such as the current president and his ambassador to the EDEN nations--or being full of fail, like the Ajay Bruno-backed candidate that nearly won in December's presidential elections.
-Their make-believe navy has taken away our make-believe fishing rights.
-They have, without cause or provocation, occupied regions in the United States and Canada without the consent of those nations and with plans to hold dominion over those regions indefinitely.
-They willingly helped to transport the imperious army of Hungary from Europe to North America to complete the works of occupation and destruction that the eUK has so sought against this country.
-Their trolls have sought to excite domestic insurrection against the goals of this nation in various media outlets, all with the same end of weakening and dividing this union so as to permit them to sail beneath the Phoenix banner towards their goal of global dominion in the New World.
-They have destroyed defense systems, plundered our economy, and cost us thousands of gold in battle costs.
-They have not only turned on a former ally and friend without cause for such betrayal, but they have actively aided and abetted those who seek to destroy that ally.

In every stage of these betrayals we have restrained ourselves from retaliation; our repeated leniency has been answered only by repeated injury. Now the eUnited Kingdom has elected a president who previously oversaw British efforts to mislead, assault, and occupy North America, who has appointed none other than an essential spokesman of the global dominion, Glados, to his cabinet, and whose character is marked by every act which may define a tyrant and imperialist. He is unfit to rule over a nation that borders our own.

Nor have we been wanting in attention to our former British brethren. We have warned them from time to time through epic trolling of their media of consequences for the attempts of Phoenix's puppets in Britain to establish a global empire. We have reminded them of the circumstances of the present hostilities between the eUK and eUSA. We have appealed to their sense of magnanimity not to support an imperialistic alliance that, apart from engaging in the fun of meeting equal opponents, also seeks to establish dominion over nations that are unable to protect themselves yet in other parts of the world, and we have time and time again offered to give them lessons in the Art of Win so that they stop failing so much. They, too, have been deaf to the voice of justice and Win. We must, therefor, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our invasion, and hold them, as we hold the rest of the New World, enemies in battle, and friends irl.

We, therefore, the undersigned citizens of the eUnited States of America, in the British media trolled, appealing to the God Emperor of the New World for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these 59 States, epically publish and declare, that these united states are, and by mechanics already ought to be, in a state of war with the eUnited Kingdom of Great Britain; and that as already in war with such a hostile power, it is the duty and right of the American president to invade Wales or the South West of England, work with our allies, and give the eUnited Kingdom our demands. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance in the favor of Dio Brando, we mutually pledge to each other our guns, our GOLD, and our epic lulz.

Signed,
~Myles Robinson~
Senator of Maryland
~Deleruin~
Citizen

~BRADLEY REALA~
Senator of Tennessee
Secretary of State

~Sydiot~
Senator of Nevada
Secretary of the Treasury

~LifeSaverM~
Citizen
InfoHub Director, Department of Education

And the undersigned Americans: