My name is Siddy and I’m running for POTUS. You might have noticed it by my candidacy article: (http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-siddy4potusheisnotanenemyspaniardipromise-oh-hai-2283544/1/20 , thanks rainy sunday :* ) or my campaign channel #Siddy4PotusHeIsNotAnEnemySpaniardIPromise . You may say me that I lost the party primaries to Paul Proteus because I’m an enemy Spaniard and he’s not, but you’re all wrong. The most important primary ever, the RANDOM THREAD IN FORUM PRIMARY, where the forces of good and the hordes of lulz battle endlessly, is still raging!
Vote me, Really
If I win that decisive primary I expect Paul Proteus to be Demokrasy for one time and retire in order to endorse me, so I’ll detail what will I do once I’m POTUS
in 5 confortable steps
1. Get eUSA citzenship
Should have done that already. I promise I’ll do.
2. Free Texas
Sure, that’s what Serbians ask all the time. After years of study, they have developed this sentence as the pinnacle of serbian trolling. Awesome.
However, what would happen if we actually got Congress to declare Texas free and ask for admins to add it as a new, free state?
We could tell Serbians “Been there, done that”. their trolling and years of study would be for naught. That would demotivate and demoralize them to no end.
Also, look at the Texan flag.
I always mess this one up with the Chilean flag. I’m expecting Serbians to do it also. If Texas end as their ally, they’ll mix their flags and will further demotivate them because they will not know who is in their side anymore.
Besides, Texas is not that great. One time I god laid with a texan lad who vacationed here, and I discovered that not everything is bigger in Texas. So nothing is lost here.
3. Destroy CoT
We have the serbians demoralized already, now let’s see TWO. Lots of varying interests and a very volatile mixing pot, with only one common ground, a common enemy.
If we destroy CoT they will not have even that, and we will demoralized them and drive most of them to eSuicide. and probably TWO will implode after that. Then we will take the credit as a result of our campaign to win the battle of minds and hearts.
Also, we’re eUSA, we have an habit of destroying the alliances we’re in, so I’m expecting this to be quite easy (I also destroyed ONE, so USA and I together can destroy a lot of shit).
We destroyed that shit already, let’s increase our counter
4. Solve the problem between the elite and AIM leadership
I was told the other day by a random bystander that there was a big problem between the elite and AIM leadership. I had my mp3 on at the time and that catchy Cave Story title theme was running, so I didn’t listen at him, but it seems it was that the elite wanted the AIM to follow their orders and AIM didn’t or smth like that.
I have a great solution for this.
Getting the AIM leadership to become the elite and the elite to become the AIM leadership.
If it works in every cheesy Hollywood movie, why wouldn’t it work here?
Pretty philosophical shit I put out there.
That way they will get to prove that their points are right and if only they did as they told from the other side it will be better. The side who was right will get a big, chocolate cake in order to celebrate it, along with a big statue with the carving “TOLD YOU SO”.
Most probably they will both fail miserably, and we’ll have some lulz, and then I’ll go with a serious face and say “I hope you all learned from this experience”. Probably nobody will have learned anything, but I’ll appear like the wise guy, and that will help me in my reelection campaign.
5. Get a Monkey with a Typewriter as Minister of Secretary of Treasury
I have noticed that there are two factions, the one that claims that it’s better to keep a good economy and get our citizens happy, and the one that wants us to destroy our economy in order to force the PTOers to leave. Since I can’t decide on which one to take, I’ll take one of the infinite monkeys with typewriters from that room and get him with the national orgs.
So whatever it does, someone will be pleased, and, maybe he finds the solution. After all, the one who programmed the economy module probably it’s also one of that typewriter monkeys.
Meet the savior who will end the economic crisis.
So, vote Siddy and get all this nice things.
Remember, the ultimate primary of ultimate destiny is here:
This campaign sign is strawberry-flavoured, we promise strawberry-flavoured campaign signs
Stay tuned for more articles, and join us on #Siddy4PotusHeIsNotAnEnemySpaniardIPromise and you will get nice things.
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