[PotUS] You've Got a Friend in Me

Day 1,701, 22:55 • Published in USA USA • by Evry

Theme Music

Hello readers. Today, we're forced to examine what a “bro” is. To many people, this definition has a varied meaning, a personal meaning. To me though, a bro stands by you. If they're a big bro, maybe they'll tease you a little, question your decisions, push you around, but it's all done lovingly. If they're a little bro, they follow you, either to greatness and glory, or to demise and defeat, simply due to bro love. There is some mixing over between the roles, but at the end of the day, the point is that bros stick by their bros.



This game has gone on for many years, and in this time, the United States has acquired not just many allies, but many bros. Canada has been one of our greatest bros for a long time. However, it’s time to figure out who’s the big brother, and who’s the little brother, who’s the leader, and who’s the follower, and more importantly: who’s the best.



So, with a sense of pride for our hat, we shall wage war to our fullest extent to show you, Canada, where your place is. We shall show Canada that it’s only on top because it’s the hat, but is below us in all other aspects. We shall show Canada why their leadership has failed them.



So, how has their leadership failed them? Well, I’m here to educate them in this. For one, their leaders are impulsive and ignorant. They showed this by leaking the CTRL charter without speaking with the United States about where they were to fit into the alliance. This is a sign of immaturity, which is not surprising since Canada is our little bro, however, it must be corrected.

Canada’s leaders also exhibited a lack of shame and humility. After damaging relations with the United States, their leaders refused to acknowledge the errors of their ways, and acted as if they could not only avoid the ramifications of such actions, but also punish the punishers. Such shame shows how their leaders can’t step off of their pedestals for the good of their own country.

Finally, Canada’s leaders failed their country by forcing this war. They spent the past few weeks trying to bait the United States into invading. This is a fatal issue on their part for many reasons. For one, it shows a lack of love for their bro, something they will pay dearly for. But, it also shows that they don’t care for their allies. The United States puts out a lot of damage for her allies in both Terra and EDEN. That damage no longer can reach our bros in Croatia, France, or Australia, or in any other war zone. That damage no longer can reach our bros because Canada intentionally made us lose our MPPs with such countries. For this, they will be punished by their bigger brother.

Americans, listen up. It’s time to teach our bros a lesson. It’s time we show Canada not to mess with the United States. It’s time we club some baby seals, and wipe Canada off the face of the map. More importantly, it’s time to make North America one United State of America.



It’s sometimes difficult to hit your brother, but remember: we’re attacking to save them from themselves. Canada shall one day return to glory, return to bro status, but not while their leaders continue to put their egos above the country. This will not be a war of hate, but a war of freedom, to save free Canada from its oppressive, arrogant, childish leaders, and pave the way for the real Canadians to step up as our bro again.



This will be a difficult war to fight, but, our fighters can help our bro up from these tough times.

Hail the United States
Hail Canada
Hail our Bros

-President Evry