[POTUS]Operation Mulan 2: The non-Disney Sequel

Day 2,029, 18:07 • Published in USA USA • by GoneAndGone


America, it’s time for war.

As anyone who has looked at the map in the past week knows, our brothers to the north (the other north) have been in a long hard fought war against Hungary. Despite valiant efforts, Russia has been unable to fight back the Hungarian invasion. Given their current situation, Russian President MinPRO contacted both myself, and CoT Supreme Comander LitoII inquiring about direct involvement from the eUS in this war.

The answer was obvious. America stands by its allies, and so, we’re standing by Russia to kick back Hungary.



Despite resident TWO scum from the AFA trying to prevent us from aiding Russia, today when the ability to propose a Natural Enemy was granted, we successfully proposed a Natural Enemy. Due to a border in Far Eastern Russia being established by Hungary taking it, we’ll be sweeping across Hungry Hippo-occupied Russia from the east, straight into the heart of of beast. So, congratulations are in order; your own hunger has led to your inevitable wiping Hungary. Kudos.


Early video of the Hungarians running from the superior American force.

This whole thing however leads to a great question... what was Hungary thinking? It is no secret that America and Russia are bros, there was even a whole document about how Russia was the Bear of awesomeness to our Eagle of freedom. Unless Hungary lacks the ability to read (which is quite possible, anyone who’s played Hungary Hungary Hipposes knows you’re one false move away from having a ball penetrate your eye socket) then they knew full well that we would be deliver to them the same size 12 J’s we penetrated Serbia with a week ago. But, I have a few theories on this:

Theory 1: Hungary really wanted to be wiped. Let’s be honest here, no one likes being left unwiped, that’s why we have toilet paper. But, due to tough economic times, Hungary must have run out of the aforementioned rectal cleansers, so, they attacked Russia HOPING we’d wipe them, so they could be squeaky clean again.

Theory 2: They thought they could bribe us. It is a well known fact that my Chief of Staff Israel Stevens is a fan of his vodka. So maybe they thought they could give us free vodka in exchange for not attacking them. This is a truly admirable plan, if it weren’t for the fact that Mexico has been sending us Tequila since day one of the term. We’re set for alcohol. (That isn’t a joke. They sent me cake and tequila day one \o/) But, good play nonetheless Hungary.

Theory 3: Hungary thought the world really was flat. This is wholeheartedly understand. Looking at the following map:


I could totally imagine the world being flat. I mean, look at it! ONLY TWO DIMENSIONS! There’s no way that Hungary could border America by being in Russia...



DAMN YOU 3-DIMENSIONAL PLANES!!!



All joking aside, I for one am quite excited to be attacking Hungary. Besides Serbian scum, Hungarian scum is number two on my list of most disliked countries. Messing with Russia was truly a stupid thing for them to do, one for which, they shall pay dearly for. When the time comes to strike, I look forward to seeing my fellow Americans and allies on the battlefield to defend our Russian bros o7

Until then, swag out America,

-Tenshibo
President of the eUS