[MoHA] Get to know the cabinet further...

Day 2,072, 07:42 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by eUK Home Office


It’s time for another cabinet interview...

I started off this series with a cracking piece of journalism that really got to the bottom of who Sambo112, our current Minister of Defence, is and what makes him tick. You can read that article here.

Today it’s a hard hitting expose of the life and loves of FightAndProduce, our current Minister of Home Affairs.


Life in the MoHA...

Being my boss, I naturally wanted to make a good impression when conducting the interview. So I spoke to Mrs Ticklesnifter, the secretary in charge of petty cash, and she proudly handed me a whole tenner to spend. Thus I met FaP in the greasy spoon round the corner from the MoHA building and we settled down with a full English and a mug of tea.

Wook: What exactly does a Minister of Home Affairs do?

FaP: I have many affairs at home, but I wish I could be a minister of foreign affairs, they get to have affairs abroad 🙁


What FaP believes the MoFA gets up to...

Wook: If your feet were made out of bacon, how long before you ended up eating a toe sandwich?

FaP: About the time it took me to find a fork and some bread.


Kevin Bacon...he was footloose...

Wook: You’re a member of the Worker’s Rights Party. Does this affect the way you work as part of the eUK government?

FaP: Not really, when you’re in government, the people in cabinet are just people. I don't see them as being different to myself, as we’re all working to help this government.

We’d stuffed ourselves silly by this stage and could take no more bacon, sausages or beans. I therefore pulled out the hip flask of Woldy’s wonderful wodka...I mean vodka, and gave us both a slug of it in our teas.

Wook: Sometimes I go out into the garden and sing Creep by Radiohead at the top of my lungs. What song would you choose to blast out in your best voice when the fancy took you?

FaP: Scooter - One (Always Hardcore)


There’s just not enough German techno in the world...

Wook: In your opinion, has your time in Prime Minister Boh’s cabinet been successful so far this month?

FaP: I'd say so, yes. But I'm sure my critics would say otherwise.

Wook: Damn those critics and their nasty ways.

I think I know the answer to this, but I’ll ask anyway. Do you, like most other eUK citizens, secretly wish you were in the Skatalites?

FaP: Yes.

Wook: I knew it!


The Skatalites are hot, like the Sun...

Wook: There are rumours circulating that privately you dress up as a Dalek and shout “Exterminate!” at members of the general public on the second Tuesday of every month. Is this true?

FaP: Every second Wednesday of the month actually, every second Tuesday Cyg streaks naked through the streets, and I'd rather not be there when he does it!!


Cyg needs to be on a leash...

Wook: When deep sea fishing with Prime Minister Bohemond4 in his weekly cabinet meetings, what music do you prefer to have on in the background?

FaP: I have the theme tune to Jaws on repeat. Just in case someone gets killed by a shark.

Wook: If you were indeed about to be savaged by surly sharks, what would your last wish be?

FaP: For more Cyg.


What??? Even more Cyg???

Wook: Is there anything else you wanted to get out there? Something the eUK should desperately know about FightAndProduce?

FaP: FAP, FaP and F&P are the best acronyms. Not FnP though :I


Don’t abuse the acronyms!

And that concludes the second in my series of cabinet interviews. Keep an eye on the MoHA news for more interviews coming your way this month!

WookieO,

-uMoHA (Comms)


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