[eBanana Blog]Escape from eNohjium

Day 2,643, 04:00 • Published in USA USA • by MaryamQ

Dear Readers,

In the previous eBanana blog issue, I had decided I must find a way to leave eNohjium. The subsequent days have proven the wisdom of that decision, as Nohjis’s crazed scheme to turn us all into minions and take over the eWorld with the use of Q10 weapons was revealed. With the help of some friends, a plan was made, and has been implemented in time for Valentine’s Day.

Late last evening, after the general populace had fallen into a drunken stupor following the
opening ceremonies for two temples to the eBanana Goddess, unbeknownst to the celebrants, the temples were not exactly what they seemed. Cleverly concealed in the first was a stealth escape boat, feverishly painted yellow by workers under the direction of VoodooMike71 to avoid detection. Elynea took part in the ceremonies by doing her banana dance, a most fascinating performance for most of the human onlookers.


The escape boat – seems as if they used stealth yellow paint!

By prearrangement with MCKitkat, who admits to no knowledge of the whole business, did NOT hit Nohjis with his Magic Sword, and has since teleported himself to Nepal, several planes from eLuxembourg flew in after dark and dropped naked minions to divert those of the locals who were still conscious. (The camels are in the mail, MCK). There were also several tons of chocolate-covered bananas, generously donated by Thedillpickl. Whether these were intended for actual eating or to render boer jan and NLSP unconscious is debatable, but it’s the thought that counts.



Once everyone seemed unconscious or distracted, those who had agreed to take part in this dangerous mission started to land on the island. Perry Rhodan, who speaks fluent librarian, was tasked with bribing the librarian with fresh untainted bananas either to join us, or at least to lend us a book of spells.

With that, we were ready to begin our flight to freedom. Dill and friends kept the rear guard, making sure the populace stayed pickled while we made our way to the boat. They were joined by a Chimpanzee Corps, sent by TheNorm to seek and destroy all tainted bananas on the island. PilotPhil, smelling of frosting and love from his efforts to spread Valentine’s Day cheer, and wearing a skirt made of banana leaves because he claimed he couldn’t find his pants (likely story that), was at the ready with the chopper provided by TheNorm to air lift all passengers onto the stealth boat, except Elynea, who chose to continue in the helicopter with Phil.



Meanwhile, TheNorm had ensured that bonfires and search lights were in place and was himself patrolling the shores in his speedboat to welcome the escapees home. He had also had been tasked with plying Deepchill with some of MCKitkat’s Guinness-soaked bananas so he would not object to an air escort of Screaming Eagles.

Surrounded by an octarine-colored haze (which is why we needed the librarian) we embarked, having given Nohjis luxury accommodations in the hold under constant watch. Our first stop is scheduled for northern eFrance, whence our European friends may make their way home either cross-country or through the eChunnel. Nohjis is to continue to be in Mike’s custody, until reaching eBirmingham, unless Mike can persuade such of the Dental Corps as are not drunk or marooned on the island to escort Nohjis instead. Hopefully, he will repent of his evil ways once he is no longer under the influence of tainted bananas.

I will then continue with the Screaming Eagles, Perry, dill and his pals, and Phil with the copter, until we meet TheNorm and his speedboat, and I hope to spend Valentine’s Day with my sweetheart at last.

What could possibly go wrong? Comment if you think you know.



PS
Thanks to the kind friends have made this possible, and Happy Valentine’s Day!