[CP] State of the Union: My Resignation (Day 2163)
Day 2,163, 05:48
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Published in Canada 
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by
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by Sal T. Balls
THE MANDATE
On October 5th, a majority of eCanadian voters provided me with a mandate to build an eCanada of vision, passion, and purpose. I have an outstanding team of people to help me achieve this:
Vice-President, Rylde
Vice-President, Acacia Mason
Minister of Defence, klop123
Minister of Foreign Affairs, Shoi12
Minister of Finance, Bryan Alexander.
STATE OF THE UNION
Opening Remarks
This month I had to deal with trolls, fascists, leakers and all sorts of shameless, backstabbing people still butthurt that DMV3 lost.
This, coupled with the fact that I don't have the free time nor the will to move this great country forward, contributed to my decision to quit. I'm done.
I'm exausted. I couldn't sleep these past days because of you. I've passed the last weekend depressed, hearing Debussy's Clair de Lune on repeat.
The negotiations with eUS were meant to be a failure due to third-party interference and I can't be a scapegoat anymore.
As of now I created a thread in the CDC to ask for an impeachment. I hope it can be done as fast as possible. I've already talked to Lord Beorn/Dr .Manhattan and he assured me that he would do a better job leading this country.
I believe him.
Canada, thank you for believing in me. I hope Lord Beorn won't be the president that eCanada deserves, but needs.
Closing Remarks and Shameless Plugs...
I'm taking a 6-month sabbatical to reflect upon my role in eCanadian society. Maybe I'll move to Iran, I heard they're actually kind and tolerant people who can teach me much.
I'll return in a time of great need. Until then...
Who's your daddy?
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Comments
Sal T. Balls 4 CP!
for he shall declare the us "Southern Canada" (not really) yay
goodnite sweet prince
should have done this yesterday lol
If Kazuo Leblanc and Rolo Tamahsee had a love child, it would be Sal T. Balls
Thanks for the uplifting laugh.
o7
I am guilty of fake-identity theft! Incarcerate this imposter!!!
This is a wicked merger of Kaz's satirical CP Update parodies and Rolo's "I Wanna Be Like D'Addy" knock-offs. Hilarious.
A*****+
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Haters gonna hate.
Considering all the shenanigans (Not yours, Sal, yours are fine) that you've had to deal with this term, this isn't all that surprising.
Good luck with wherever you might be going o7
Sal T. Balls 4 bresidengy!!!1111 😃DDDDDDD
kaksoispiste de de de de
Best new for Canada all month, too bad it's not actually Addy resigning.
Long live the PTO!
"I'm exausted. I couldn't sleep these past days because of you."
it's a joke or...?
He was thinking mostly of me if you know what I mean. 😉
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Lol, I can't stop laughing at how many people think this article is actually written by me.
Anyway, Saint Saens is better...
u tryna open a can of worms m8? 😃
Sal linked the wrong version anyhow.
http://youtu.be/IYLTc3tGdzc
Shhh, we're trying to make it look as real as possible!
Play along 😉
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Brilliant and funny as hell.
I've been tricked.
We trust in the good Doctor.
Wes Lewis 4 CP
lol
Believable narrative is believable, and so it saddens me that the PTO trolls have crushed the commitment Addy put into rejuvenating eCanada.
"Ma chandelle est morte
Je n'ai plus de feu
Ouvre-moi ta porte
Pour l'amour de Dieu."
o7
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This seems a little Sal T. to me
real salt of the earth, that one
Wally Cleaver 4...oh...I've got a lot of catching up to do.
It ain't Wally Cleaver; I got tabs on dear Walls.
Hilarious. 😃 Sal T. Balls is at it again.
Keven4CP! Presidency for teh lulz, like in the old days!
Best fake tantrum resignation ever. Sal t-bagged!
I have to confess I was fooled by it until I read the comment section, even somehow skimmed past the troll image at the bottom and never bothered to look at the top to see who wrote it.
Totally suckered, and totally laughed.
Saltydog without his personality
No shit I thought this was Addy till just now ;-;
is that a good thing or a bad thing? : )
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
coming from outside Canada not knowing who the actual CP was a defining point in my not understanding this article lol
I get it now :')
This is some top quality BS.