[CHARTICLE] Introducing My Arch Nemesis
Chutley
Paul made that. He’s cool.
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Ok so I’m taking a break from regularly scheduled programming to follow up on two important things from my last article about Why I Left eRepublik.
Firstly, I retract the item about being threatened… it wasn’t that I actually was threatened, but it was a feeling. And I’m a sensitive caveman without much exposure to human enemies because typically I’m the Alpha male of my group. By that I mean I’m the only one who hasn’t been eaten by a sabertooth tiger (please don’t fact check whether I exist at the same time as sabertooth tigers) because I’m fast and also use my friends as human shields.
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Moving on to the main point:
I said I had no arch nemesis. Good news…I realized I do.
Drumroll:
Yup, It’s Tom Waits.
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Just kidding - it’s Gnilraps. Here’s why:
This article
And also these great reasons:
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Election Party
He made me participate in what I think was called an election party? All the Federalists (or whatever we were) got into some chat room and, like, had a good time or whatever the night of an election. I think I was in charge of the party. Somehow we danced or gave drinks or played games? I really have no idea. It’s surreal. Also I was trashed. And elected the representative of Hawaii. Basically it was fun.
Crap…that’s not a reason to hate someone.
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He’s still here
You know how in Good Will Hunting there’s that thing where Ben Affleck desperately wants to show up one day at Matt Damon’s house and find out old Matty boy has left to pursue greener pastures? And then at the end it happens and Damon’s gone? That’s supposed to be this like emotional scene and we’re happy that Big D has split for the coast but I can’t help but think, “Say goodbye to your best friend you asshole.” Pretty sure he even brought coffee. What’s he supposed to do with that coffee?
So, every few years I show up in Gnilraps’ mailbox hoping he won’t return my message of “Hi” and I’m disappointed with him saying he’s still around because that means I can’t have the extra cup of coffee I brought with me.
Ok, and just so we’re clear - you all though about how he’s hunting for good will, right? What a lazy ass pun. Full disclosure though, I would love to write a movie where the villain’s name is Hugh Manscum. Works on a few levels. Protagonist and hero obviously is named Norm Aldude. Also, they live in an area called City Snutz.
What the hell was I talking about?
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4) Words that are only used with another specific word (typically)
Cranny needs "nook"
Proof: Hey man your kitchen has a great cranny.
Smithereens needs "blow" (so do I)
Proof: I was walking the other day and saw something totally in smithereens.
Gnilraps needs "dickhead"
Proof: Honestly I can’t even think of a context in which I might say Gnilraps without talking about him being a dickhead (please ignore all the times I’ve done that successfully in the past).
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I’m taking applications for more nemeses by the way. Please post credentials in chat.
Nemesingly,
Comments
Hugh Manscum hahaha
so change my name to Smithereens, simple enough
https://youtu.be/no_elVGGgW8
hmmmmmm
Absolutely
When I see his photos I always think Gnilraps, and not Tom Waits. Maybe I'm weird.
You have an account on e-rep. Of course you’re weird.
Gnilraps Callion?
I can’t wait for the “Chutley is Gnilraps” writing to himself attacks. Krapis part 2!!! Drama!!!
Are you saying Gnilraps as Krapis talking to himself (Gnilraps) did not happen after all. But, then where did Krapis and his writing go?
he literally didn't say any of that, it's a funny comment
Preemptively defending Gnilraps via Krapis is much more sad than humorous imho, just because someone chooses to be an unapologetic slanderer does not in itself make them the same person/player that has played two accounts at once where he, person/player allegedly talked to themselves
neither comment was defending gnilraps lmao
That is ludicrous, to think krapGnil would not do exactly what Jedi Is implying would be funny if he did it again
Literally the worst penguin
I’m really enjoying being part of a scandal I never even knew existed.
Gnilraps is trash.
#teamchutley
Thanks sweetie