Gulden Draak is scum and you and I are better than him.

Day 1,175, 17:51 • Published in USA Australia • by Justin McCravok

He may be the most interesting man in the world, but he's no you or I

Gulden Draak: What can I say about him? He's one of the greatest writers in the entire eWorld. His articles in 46 countries are considered artwork, and everywhere he goes, he's admired and loved by people straight and gay and mixed. He's a master of the literature, the non-playwriting William Shakespeare of this generation. He seems so perfect...yet...he's not. He really isn't. Really. He's not.

Today I will be unveiling secrets about Gulden Draak that he would never want you to know about. Stuff he keeps secret and private and only shares with me, stuff that I can manage to dig out of his personality, secret codes in his newspaper, the whole kebab. I'm about to pull a Nicholas Cage Hidden Treasure. Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to learn some things that you may regret learning about. If you are intimidated or don't want to cry in the corner of your bedroom cutting your wrist for several hours, then I encourage you click the subscribe button and close this page. Really. It's not a problem. I don't mind.


5 Things about Gulden Draak that make you better then him




He's Cheap:

For those who aren't aware or have been living under a rock, Gulden Draak has over 1500 Subscribers to his newspaper. No doubt about it, Gulden is one of the most popular writers of this era...but all of the most popular writers in America don't actually write, do they? They use giveaways, something that Gulden Draak has not done. Do you know why, America? Because Gulden Draak is a cheap, cheap bastard. He doesn't want to pay for subscriptions because he likes to hog all of the gold and wave it in the face of poor homeless people because he thinks it's funny. Just look, all of the greatest writers of this era use gold to level themselves. Glove gave away 150 Q5 Tanks with his jew gold. Syrup paid for 200 orgs and subbed his own paper with them. Hell, even the government's White House Press Release has had a few giveaways in it's time. All of the most subscribed newspapers at one point or another have given things to people who would subscribe. But not Gulden Draak. Oh no. He may be an interesting man, but he's also extremely cheap.



He's Always Drunk:

Gulden Draak's attitude is "Oh, I'm drunk, time to go write an article". Is this what we want America, a man who provides us drunk entertainment? I think not! It's an outcry that a man who isn't in his right mind and doesn't remember anything the next morning can wake up with a thousand subscribers and can provide better entertainment then us. It's a shame. Since there's no room for drunkards like Gulden, I say we take away his alcohol and see how he does then. Hint: It won't be pretty. It'll truly expose him for the fraud he is. Without his drinks he is nothing. We take it away, we succeed, and then we'll definitely be better then him no doubt about it


He quits and gives me stuff and comes back and asks for his stuff back:

Gulden Draak has been renown for his attempts at quitting eRepublik. It's actually kind of pathetic. The man would write an article with pigs giving each other sex, and then he would quit, give stuff away, and come back. That's what he did for me, at least...twice. When he left eRepublik the first time, he gave me a Q5 House. It was a fabulous Q5 house. It was cozy and had luxurious cars in the garage and plasma TVs in the kitchen. I was a happy camper, to say the least

I knew when Gulden returned after his 2 day rage quit that I couldn't keep his house. I would feel like a terrible man. I would feel like a thief, really. So, what else was I to do? With much regret, I donated back Gulden's Q5 House. I said welcome back to eRepublik and he said thank you. I thought we had made friends. But oh no, Gulden just came back and did the same thing. He sent me 35 Gold. Yes, 35 Gold. He quit with a settle shout, and we all thought it was truly good-bye. Then, he returned. Again. I had already spent his 35 Gold, but luckily, I'm a smart man with lots of companies and stuff, and I had 30 Gold of my own money that I had earned. I saw Gulden in that private government channel that I always lurk in. I reminded him of the gold, and immediately he was all like "Oh yeah can I have 20 gold back". In exchange, he let me keep 15 gold (even though he should've let me keep all 35 imo), and said that he would shout my article and write about me in his newspaper. This leads me to my next point:



He's a liar:

Gulden Draak did shout an article of mine: My interview with the Minister of Foreign Affairs of eArgentina, FlorenciaC. It was glorious, I mean, I got like three whole votes and 0 subscribers because of that shout. Yeah. So that was cool. Really cool. Super cool.

But, the kick was the second part of the deal, a promised mention in Gulden's next article, an honor that any man should be proud of. Well, Gulden Draak of course backed out, because he's a no good dirty jew and stuff. He released his article today. I Ctrl-F'd for my name. Nothing. Nothing at all.

I published a comment saying, "Where's my promised mention, fgt." A few moments later, I got a reply. Picture of convo below:


I circled information for emphasis in case you couldn't see it. Click for enlarged.



Yeah. He said my nickname in a comment. DO I FEEL SPECIAL NOW OH BOY.

Gulden Draak, if you read this, I'm still waiting for my afore promised mention. I expect it in your next article.


He's really mean!!!: I would just be lurking in my private channels (yeah I'm cool like that u jelly?) and Gulden Draak would pop-in. The man would be like "Where's Justin McCravok" and I'd be like "Sup" and he'd call me fat or gay or something. It's not very nice of him, and I wish he didn't do that, because in public it's extremely degrading. Gulden Draak, if you're reading this, I'd appreciate it if you settled down and didn't call me out because I'm better then you. I understand u jelly, but really, lets just calm down.

And now you know America: Some secrets, some tidbits, about Gulden Draak. Always remember my fellow readers, you are better then him, for he is a no-good dirty man. The lowest of the low. Scum. Poor, cheap, dirty, mean scum. Next time you see him tell him I said hi, and then link him to this article. Please. It would be great.