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: GOOD EVENING, FOLKS, AND WELCOME TO THE SHOW! Stick around for the best of last week’s news, if there is any– and hopefully a few fun surprises.
: I’m always up for surprises, Dan– do we need special underwear for this?
: Well, maybe extra underwear, but there’s only one way to find out, Dick— so let’s go!

Original Air Date: Friday March 3, 2023 (Day 5582 )
Location: OwlCorp Media Studios, The White House

On Tonight's New Pony Express Show:
:1: Live from Bethesda Naval Hospital
:2: Last Week’s News Now

Editor’s Note: While most Government publications are a reflection of that government’s relationship with the citizens, the Pony Express is a reflection of the citizens’ relationship with each other as a community.



Let’s join Henry Gibson, Live from the ICU at Bethesda..

: Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Media’s on life support
And eRepublik is, too.

Thank you.

Producer Old Man Custer: gotta love Henry Gibson.
Janitor George: Media looks exactly the same as last week.
Control Booth: Different color logo on the monitor screen.. But, yeah.
Director Jude Connors: Moving along, gentlemen..
Control Booth: moving along.. *click*



Booth: [singing] I’d like to teach the world to sing…
Connors: I heard Corporate freaked out that they had to pay the chicken scale for squawking during last week’s show..
Custer: oh, I got roasted for that one little “buh-Kawk!!”
A-HEM! Let’s all have a Coke and a smile– while we watch the News…

Control: does anyone know where that voice is coming from?
Custer: what voice?
Control: now it just got weird thank you... News in two…

::: What’s the news, across the nation, we have got the information
::: ..in a way.. We hope will amuse.. youse..
::: Ladies and Gents– The Pony looks at the News!!

Well, there has been some media this week. As Dr RJ Reynolds said, and our own Henry Gibson concurs, it is encouraging, but the worldwide media drought continues to hit the eUS Media especially hard.

:: Congress election was last week, let’s look at post-election articles.
Alegretto published We the People have the Congress, a one-pic wonder.
Rough Riders published a campaign piece after we went to press last week. It wasn’t included in last week’s Pony paper, but Thee Dude’s ROUGH RIDERS 4 CONGRESS garnered 44 article Votes and helped them seat 12 Congressmen, the most of any Party.
Riders again, post-election: [Rough Riders] Congress election results Feb/Mar ‘23 by Zur1en.
The Socialist Freedom Party published INCENTIVE 100, outlining a player retention program to help Party members under Level 100.

:: Country President election is Sunday. Let’s try POTUS election campaign articles first.
Custer put out two articles. Custer for POTUS: New Speech Writer utilizes AI to create five paragraphs of blather based on three sentences. Like Custer needs help to blather. In Custer for POTUS: Cabinet Picks we see who’s on his potential leadership team.
If “Freewheelin’ Franklin” Stone (SFP) and SteffanoS (WTP) publish something right up to election day, I’ll edit their work in here.


:: Regular folks published stuff, too.
Mister Y posted his monthly population statistics, with charts and graphs and numbers and facts, eUSA population - February 2023. Rock solid, Mister Y thank you.
Punkinette published The KnapGnil effect or the hidden owl way. No comment.
When the US achieved Empire status last week, Malpazar mused about RL America’s first and only Emperor in this interesting history lesson, An Emperor for an Empire.

:: Men on a Mission
wapu asks What are you doing with Satoshi if you live in a restricted state? and offers a solution. He’s working on a Media Mission and this article is still a few Comments short of the goal.
Sagrotan is also on a Media Mission, just a few Comments short of goal. Junior-Journalist Award Article is a funny approach to survivalism and well worth reading.
Tommy Anders is a new player, ready to take good guidance, also a few Comments shy of the Mission goal. Give him a little love at Where to call home?
When Samb1985 hit Level 400 he was presented with a new Mission, and offers cool gifts for V/S/E’ing at Mission (IV) Level 400 Completed !
Stariha88 is a new (December) player, and this is his first article. Though he doesn’t say, I’d wager he’s got that 25 Comments mission, too, in Stariha’s rant.

The Department of Defense republished Attention New Players: Help Getting Started. It’s important to Vote this article up, and to Shout it a bunch. Until we get the New Citizens Message fixed, this is the only “first point of contact” we have for new players.

Alright, I’ll be honest with you. Last week and this week have shown a marked increase in media activity, and I’m especially pleased to see me not dominating the charts.
People got stuff to say, they got stories to share, they got a twisted thought and invested a few keystrokes to express it..

If any one article this week deserves a prize, it’s Malpazar’s piece about the American Emperor.
Hell, I’m gonna send him a $1000 cash prize. Hell, I’m gonna send someone $1000 every week.

Ya know.. Y’all keep this up, and we might just revive Media.

: (wild pop music)

Janitor George: She’s not saying anything.
Custer: She doesn’t have to.
George: Special favor?
Custer: Certain charms.
Booth: she must be over 70 now…
Custer: and still hotter than your grandma…

::: Lah-da-dee-dah, Dah-dah-de-dot, Ladies and Gents, The Pony looked at the news!!!

Booth: …(Googling “Goldie Hawn now” images) *click*



: Well, Dick, it’s Fickle Finger time once again.. Time to dishonor someone who has done so much, by doing so little, in making all our eLives miserable since forever.
: Gosh, Dan, sounds like it could be any politician! Who are we giving The Finger to tonight?

: Oh, far beyond most politicians, Dickie, this week’s dishonoree is Plato, front man of a miserable online game that hasn’t had an update in ten years. And despite declining numbers of active players, Plato continues to push pay-to-play to support his Corporate overlords.
: And so, on behalf of the few dozen dedicated eRepublik citizens who keep Plato in a job, we’re proud to stick it to you..
: That’s right, Dick, tonight we give the Finger to eRepublik’s Plato– thanks for nothing, pal.

Custer: As I remember, Plato was pretty sensitive to criticism and might throw a temp ban temper tantrum.
George: Somehow I doubt he tunes in to our show.
Booth: does anyone? *click*

: That’s our show for tonight, folks! Say goodnight, Dick.
: Goodnight, Dick!
: Goodnight, everybody..!




Thank you, Dan and Dick. Tune in again next week for The NEW Pony Express Show Starring Famous Hollywood Moustaches.

Booth: SEE? There he is again! Who is this guy? Where is he?!
Connors: slow your roll, Bob… and CUT. Roll credits. Custer, take us out..
George: We’re just trying out a new offstage announcer to do segues.
Custer: *whew* I thought I was trippin’..
Connors: do you guys fecking mind?? Bob roll credits, Custer take us out, already!

Custer: We’ll see you all again next week— GOODNIGHT EVERYONE! DRIVE SAFE!



Connors: any of that chicken salad left?
Booth: aw, dude, I am sorry *nom nom nom*
Connors: oh, fml
*click*


The New Pony Express Show was recorded Live before a studio audience.





Of course there’s a blooper reel.
Tonight’s episode of The NEW Pony Express Show Starring Kermit is available on Blu-Ray from OwlCorp Home Video.



Kickstart the Media.
Every keystroke counts.

Oh, and, Shout this around :

You Bet Your Sweet Bippie!
The NEW Pony Express Laugh-In Show
https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2764382




George Armstrong Custer, White House Press Corps Staff Writer.


:::
5582:970
Sit, Ubu, sit.