Finger Licking Announcement 1

Day 4,556, 17:12 • Published in USA USA • by VoxHumana





I added a little Cointreau to my Coffee tonight, so it’s the perfect time to write.




6lb, 8oz. Smallmouth caught in Colorado


The Smallmouth Bass is one of the more popular species of fish favored among sport fishermen. Per pound, the Smallmouth Bass provides a tremendous thrill once hooked.

They leap out of the water, they pull hard against the reel, they put up a hell of a fight.

You might be fishing for Crappie, but when a Smallmouth hooks onto your line, you know this is no Crappie.


This is a Crappie




I share this information because it just happened to me.

Please allow me to explain.



When the Secretary of Media reached out to me with an assignment to interview the current Cabinet members about their involvement in government, I was fairly intimidated. Really, I was.

I don’t know a single thing that is actually happening in this game. I still just got here.

And so the questions I asked in those interviews were a little soul-less. My EREPUBLIK soul has not yet lived long enough to express itself in anything but the most rudimentary ways. Forgive me.

I’m just a two-week-old boy.

And like many boys, I also don’t work well “on assignment”. I do better without imposed structure.

That’s what boys think, anyway.

But I did discover that I enjoy asking people questions and reading their answers.




How does a brand new citizen, though, determine the most interesting people to interview?

He looks for anomalies.

He looks for patterns in the game, then he identifies the ones who do not fit that pattern. Nine times out of ten, those will be the interesting ones.




Well I had not yet begun to surf my way through the intricate details and information available on all of the various pages in this browser game. The profile page of every citizen, for instance, is a treasure trove of information. But I hadn’t even gotten that far yet. I wasn’t even one week old!


All I had done was poke my nose into some newspaper articles, read them, and observe what kinds of things people were saying in the comments.



And like a child who accompanies his father to the fishing hole for the first time only to hook and land a Six and a Half Pound Smallmouth Bass, I did.

(A Smallmouth of that size is quite impressive, though Smallmouth Bass have been caught weighing over ten pounds.)




What happened was simple enough. I was perusing the gallery of newspapers, trying to learn my way around, and a comment caught my eye from a citizen named Ronald Gipper Reagan.

What caught my eye about his comment was that it was unlike any of the other comments I had seen so far. Ronald Gipper Reagan was decrying our country’s warlike posture towards the Serbian forces which, in the current conflict, have been the aggressors.

His position, as far as I could tell from a single comment in a single newspaper article, was that eUSA should be friends, not foes, with our foe Serbia!



Anomalies.

I had one.

A single voice of dissent in a sea of comments about our evil enemies from the Balkans. I was instantly intrigued and reached out to him straight away for an interview.




Well let me tell you something fellow citizens of the EREPUBLIK Nation of United States, Ronald Gipper Reagan is no Crappie.

He is a Smallmouth Bass! A Muskellunge! A Northern Pike! A King Salmon in a pool of minnows.



I HOOKED A BIG ONE!!!






Can you imagine my excitement when he shared a YouTube video chronicling his meteoric rise to power in the earliest days of this game?


It was very much like finding out the person who has been living on the other side of your back yard fence for 12 years is a Michelin Chef. Perhaps you feel stupid for having turned down his invitations to his BBQ last 4th of July, but you sure are looking forward to next year!



If you wish to read the juicy details of my exciting interview with one of the most colorful personalities I have met in my two short weeks as an EREPUBLIK Citizen, subscribe to my Newspaper. That way, when I publish this interview tomorrow, it will be easy for you to find! (My thanks to Aramec for alerting me to the button which shows me the latest news from my subscriptions!)





So Subscribe, and watch your newstand for my first full-length EREPUBLIK interview, the legendary Ronald Gipper Reagan. Look for it tonight, Day 4556, at 20:00 EREPUBLIK time.


That’s:
Ronald Gipper Reagan Interview
To be published in Finger Licking Good
Day 4557, 20:00 EREPUBLIK time


You won’t want to miss it.

Sincerely yours,
Kernal Krapis